burnt mouth taste
aching chest
legs tights and cramped

heavy head, not to be held up any longer
by the strings I have cut throughout my day

i want to be free from them
I want to hold myself up


but i always wait
wait for your strings
to be tied around my wrists

please tie my soul to my body

I fear it will fall away
and I will lose myself in the sadness I felt before I met you

and I will go back to being the sad person i was

you remember.
I used to write those sad poems

now my poems are only sad when you feel far away

when I get the opportunity
   I dig you out of the ground
like gold
      I dig my fingers into
your crevices, spreading your
   skin across my palms

I once told you that you are like ice cream.
I want you to know that you're not just ice cream.
You are like sunshine, the air.
You are like cilantro, deep belly laughter.
You are the water I dip my toes into,
a crisp clear lake


in which I see my reflection

If more people lived life, modeled after you
If more people lived freely
If more people expressed themselves
Without fear
   Without that crushing concept of conformity
   This world would be a better place
        A place I could be proud to be a part of
If more people took the time to open their eyes
        And break apart those hoary curtains
Of societal expectations
That smother us in their weight
And choke us in their clouds of accumulated dust
This world would be a better place
You bring so much to this world
Each
                                            moment
     you share
     with us

I want to be a place
   a safe haven
                    for you

a place
                 where you are warm

       I want to be a home,
          consistent
                               sturdy
                                              dependable
I want to be your bed


         you can come here

   strip off the clothes of the day

            sleep
                  as peaceful as
           a sunset lake

                   in me.

he can't build you the world
                       no purpose
                                    or magic mirror
                    show me the truth
                                       !
                              a feeling
                           a bigger boat?
                                go ahead
here's looking at you
                    and me
                          together

the water is dark. we've been in this boat for a long time.
we're holding each other, shivering.

the water is dark. Black
we lie in the bottom of the boat, trying to stay warm

holes, tiny holes.
breaking through our little boat.

stand up.
water covers our toes, turn yours blue.

the boat rocks.
you are losing your balance.

the boat rocks.
you grasp at me, at the edges of our boat.

I reach for you, taking your hand.
that was close, my love.

something in the water.
the sky is dark; no stars nor moon.

"what is that?"
I don't know, love.

scared, all of a sudden.
tears, as cold as the water.

will we make it?
I don't know.

Wind blows suddenly
a wave crashes

what is happening?
I don't know.

You go.
You had to leave.

I couldn't hold on to your hand
fingers frozen

I'm sorry.
I don't know.

I tried,
I tried.

I wanted to help you.
We were in this boat together

and all of a sudden,
I had to save you

I don't know how.
I don't know.

You are sinking.
Sinking.

The boat is sinking.
Sinking.

You are gone.
Do I jump in after you?

Do I hope that you will make it?
Can I help you?

Is it too late?
I don't know.

I don't know.