in the air,    in the blue sky
      The same sky I often look up at
but I find myself looking down
   watching cars become specks then -

                                         disappear.
Endless horizon,
                         that blur of white and
          sea green, then
                            the clearest blue
                                   the perfect sky.

The earth is so much larger
                    than I can possibly
                         comprehend.


       Much like your love for me

in seven and a half days
you will pick me up (from the airport
and i will pick you up (from the slump you've been in
and we will hold each other there
in the air

in seven and a half days
my mind will finally be at rest
i no longer have to snap back into focus
after dozing into daydreams of
your sweet skin

in seven and a half days
my heart will burst from the feelings you elicit
inside of me, you keep me afloat
the world tries to pull me under
you save me

in seven and a half days
our worlds will collide
after remaining seemingly separate for months
I will know the people you know
we will share

in seven and a half days
i will not worry about grades
or missing the bus or getting fat or being alone
you will extract the ****
replace with beauty

in seven and a half days
your arms will become my safe haven
your body envelops mine, covers me
i have never felt so safe
in my life

in seven and a half days
our bodies will melt into each other
waking up next to you
kiss your forehead, toes intertwine
yours mine ours

in seven and a half days
I will love you
-in person.

If I wrote a poem for
      you
              every time you crossed
                 my mind
I would never be without a
           pen in my hand.

But as it stands
        my mind has stopped

   finding words to  put on
      paper

but my heart knows

how
       I feel

and how
                I think
about
     you

every time I
     take an order
             for a Left-hand
                     Milk-Stout
    at the restaurant
         where I now work

i step into the shower,
my hair flowing down my back

and i hear the bathroom door open and close
-click
           you enter

i ask if you're coming in,

           you pull back the curtain
and you stand there
like a mountain,
          absolutely majestic

your skin warm and inviting

i push my hair behind my ears

you step into the shower
                the stream hits your body

like a waterfall in Minneopa
in the middle of a hot summer day.

you lay three fingers against me,
like an electric current
screaming "I want" over and over.

You bend down to kiss my forehead,
the water spreads over your face

and rushes between my legs

             you kiss my lips

you place your remaining ******* on my waist

I snap back into place:
sitting in a hard plastic chair
listening to a short bearded man
go on forever
about some dead philosopher
who has never touched me.

and again, you are far away

the flood gates have opened,
               the water rushes to my center, the
                           place where I feel things
it breaks me down
                        leaks through the walls

and you are my water

      you are my rain - the rain
              that washes away everything else

Clothes drenched - strip them off.
Make-up smeared - wipe it away

            You are the river
                       I float downstream,
              watch the sun sparkle off of the
                  reflection of my face,

                            red hair clinging to my shoulders.

              you are my ocean
      and I feel infinite
                                      when your waves
                                           crash over me

So let them crash over me,
                               let them sweep me
                                                        away

                         sink to the bottom of you.

i would see you in the bed, with the blanket tucked underneath your big feet
which would probably be hanging off the bed
because you're so tall.

hair smooshed up against a pillow,
                             naked under the sheets.

you make little sound
                         other than your slow inhale and exhale
sleep suits you wonderfully



and i would take off my cardigan
then my shirt
then my skirt and tights
then my socks
then my bra
then my underwear
and for a few seconds, i would be very cold
              
        but then, i would peel back the sea of blankets surrounding you

and feel the warmth being thrown into the universe by your skin
i would
                   i would kiss your shoulder

pour myself into the space between your arm and your waist

                   and nestle in deep, breathing in your scent
pulling the ocean back over us,
     not giving you a chance to shudder at the cold.

you are

musky and soft, the scent of a log cabin in the woods
                        with bread baking inside

you are warm enough to bake me.

                        and your warmth
fills me up

like a cup of love

that you will pour for me in the morning

I wish I could drench your pain
in peppermint
rub it onto your forehead
                            and into your heart

and soak up your coffee tears
with a warm blanket
  and hold you while you cry

I wish I could sew all of our
clothes together, so I
would always be there
when the red walls start
bleeding and creeping toward
you.
        I can't fix the
world

          but I can do a few things

         I can cook you a warm breakfast
            and dinner when you come home

I can wash our clothes
      when they get filled
with the  paint that you
       drown yourself in

I can love you
                        the way my mother loves me


because that's all I know how to do.