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michelle reicks Oct 2013
so while the other boys
tug at my skirt,

           buy me beer,

write me songs

           I still mostly
      forget about them
                   when I go
          home at 1 in
                              morning.

But you,
            for some reason

get my hopes up
                in the worst way.


When the rain falls
                and thunder strikes
                    my tired
                               red head


I still wait for

                       the mail to come.


No letters from
                     You yet,


but I can't tear
    my eyes away
          from the mailbox


      Because,

                      I guess that
              would mean



                            giving up hope

                                                 all over again.

And
            
I don't think I
                could do it twice.


I don't think I could let you break me

                         a second time
michelle reicks Oct 2013
we
        push against each other'

       wanting to be held

       the way someone else
                                   held us
                         a long time ago.

and with every
              drunk kiss

             every stupid television
                                                show
                                            we watch
                                               on your sunken couch

every joint we smoke

          you push my unanswered questions

back down my throat

with the tips of your
                       fingers


you make me forget

                that I once
                      loved someone else.


in fact,
                               maybe you make
                                    me forget
                                                 everything



                      until I feel numb.


And maybe,

               just maybe,



                     that's exactly what

                            I wanted you to do
michelle reicks Oct 2013
All
That I can
do is smile as
I look at you, and
this pen runs out of ink.
You make me feel so warm inside,
so wholesome - so worthwhile - so
meaningful. Love is such a wonderful
experience. I close my eyes + I don't
see anything, but I feel everything. Moments
like these, I never want them to end.
I can't think of a good metaphor
to describe how my heart feels, but I'll
try my best to explain: it feels round,
heavy -  full with caring, the desire to share.
It wants so badly to
touch yours. I
feel so incredibly
wonderful.
Thank you.
i did not write this poem, nor do i take credit for it.
i simply transcribed it, because it was a very nice memory.
michelle reicks Oct 2013
Waking up next to you
                    is a reminder of what it
                                         means to live

I grow simply from the scent of your skin.

Waking up next to you
        is as if the Titanic never sank

       and all those people
           just got to where they were going.

Waking up next to you is like
               swimming naked in the ocean

your blue sheets
                  wet from perspiration
and my own milk
                                  the smell like
                                    the barn on my uncle's
                                   24 acre plot of land in Iowa.

            Waking up next to you
is a sunrise
                   with morning dew on my nose
michelle reicks Oct 2013
When you look at me

your eyes change.
                                    from a muddy lake blue
to a golden yellow, shining white

          And I know that
              you are the most gentle
                      soul I've ever met
And I'll make you believe in souls
             just so I can describe
to you
                    how it feels when yours touches mine.

I can see your soul in those eyes
         It leaks out
                     when I talk about the
times I was hurt
            darling.
I have been hurt
                              and your eyes
turn grey like couds
                  when you listen to me
         speak of
                         the past tortures
                  the rapes the cuts
                          the scars the pills
                                  the pills

Your eyes never stay grey.

                     Because after grey comes green.

           Brilliant glowing like a
                     grass-covered hill where I used to
            point out shapes in clouds.
                                                         ­                                           (when I was 8 years old and trusting the
                                                             ­                                        world to keep me grounded; but gravity
                                                         ­                                            never did its job.)
when your eyes are
                        Green,              
                ­                           green grabs me
                   by the waist
                                             pulls me close
                     breathes me in
                                                   and says

"I will not let go
          
                    until you want me to"

But darling
                       your eyes lock tight

around me
              
                           and I like it

here.
michelle reicks Sep 2013
The first official day of autumn

             like we needed some excuse
       to refresh

everything is so new
                   and at the same time
old- like my grandmother

familiar until she
had her stroke
                           and became someone
                                new and unknown.

like the trees when
         the leaves die

                        and fall.

we never needed
            an excuse to refresh

we fell apart,

          sick of summer
       and the sounds of construction

we longed for a change

         and we got rid of
         each other

so that eventually,

                   the leaves would grow back

we would always default
to
                  refresh

watch each others
    leaves grow back
       and change
    and fall again

                    and
    
                           grow back

but
         how do

you watch someone

                   be happy without you?



how could i watch

      your gorgeous leaves

crawl up the wall
                of a new house

with a new person living inside of it


when i was the one



                  to make your leaves turn brown and die


when i was the one
      
                           to bring winter's frost to your forest green
michelle reicks Sep 2013
I sit in a stranger's kitchen
in the town
we once called home
a bottle in one hand
and a pen in the
                        other.

the things i have done
                                      today
would have made you
                       so happy.

I smoked a cigar
and drank a hot caffeinated beverage
outside of our favorite coffee shop
at an old deteriorating wood table and some plastic chairs
while breathing in
the early autumn air.

I missed you
on the car ride from the interstate into town;
we passed the
park where we saw the
lights
               and you told the
man in the costume that
you wanted me to love
                                        you.

Do you remember when we
picked up trash?
        I do.
   You wore that sweater I
                                     like,
but you were still cold

I wanted to keep you
          warm

Today
I went to that store
you love, the one
you would insist we
always go into.
They moved down
the street to a
bigger location.
They have more games,
more cards.

I asked the owners
if they had seen you
lately. They remembered
                                     you

Because you were so tall
              and friendly:
two of my favorite things
about you.

I bought a card
    with a dragon on it,
the one I always thought
was so pretty.
I asked for it by name.
I remembered the name
                           after all this time.

Tomorrow I will see a parade
and spend time
with our friends.
   They miss you,

but not as much as I do.

I am so glad I
left this place

because it only makes    
        me sad and
                regretful.

I wish I had
           not given up

because your soul is
  more beautiful
             and full of truth
        and connection

          it is a soul I
             have been looking
                for in other
                          people.

You do not exist
     in other people.



You exist

in a town I've never seen

with people I've never met


and emotions I've
                       never felt.


but, to summarize

I had a perfect day
albeit I was *missing one thing
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