Do you ever just want to lay down and cry?
To lock the doors and forget-
That tank outside?
Do you ever just want to abandon your pride?
And tell him your hurting and pleading inside?
Depleting. Putrid-
The only way to describe
This feeling I'm wheeling
And fighting to hide.
Do you ever just want to lay down and cry?
To dismember the censors
And surrender this time?

I do it all for
                          you.
         For a distant time.
                           -A distant life.
Fly on sweet
                         bird.
        
-I'll be seeing you.

daddy.
im utterly helpless.
and yes i blame you!
i've become a disease,
infecting all i touch.
grim as it is,
as aware of it as i may be,
infectious i still remain.
i still blame you.
for we are interminable.
for we are completely alike.
pride established dominance,
a mind capable of enormous leverage.
a cruel mind.
he was your only ecstasy.
only room for your son
not me
everything afterwards savored of anti ******.
lonely and neglected,
i finally give in,
too proud for too long.
i blame you!
fearful to confess....
im utterly helpless

ode to a man
the keeper of my dreams,
melody of my soul,
the wind beneath my wings.
ode to a man
beautiful as can be
whispers to my heart
only beauty he can see.
ode to a man
who's heart he let me take
used him and beat him
till there was nothing left to break.
ode to a man
who loved me anyway,
though my only heart wondered,
his love did truly stay.
ode to a man
who finally gave up.
i loved him more than anything
but his love was never enough....

so i write to you my confession...
to speak loudly and clear.
for so long, under such suppression,
damnation i had to fear.

greatly i have wronged you,
in more unutterable ways than one.
the truth of my infidelities
have yet to come undone.

i write to you my confession...
of a man of twenty-eight,
my lustful thoughts woed me,
actions i reprobate.

i write to you my confession...
of a man of twenty-two.
in which i spoke salacious words,
a man who is not you.

i write to you my confession...
of heinous and deliberate lies,
knowing quite well the manipulation
would lead to your demise.

i write to you my confession...
recite what you dont know.
the body that belongs to you,
i proceed to show.

i write to you my confession...
for i no longer wish to hide.
my words, my thoughts, my actions,
may now all coincide.