growing up sideways
not up or down
still recovering from mishaps
misuses, mistakes.
im not her anymore
im not really sure who she was
but she made my life difficult by choice.
at night, dreaming of a past life,
fixing the horror caused-
making everything alright;
i then wake,
to a world unforgivable.
i sob and
scream-
im sorry
why cant you believe me?!?!
ill be seeing you.

She asked me if I need you
though the walks
the talks
were blue.

Burdened with the headache,
the fear of something new-
repercussions to this decision-
an advocate much
   too valuable
to loose.

Harbor this fugitive of our love that runs deep,
obliterating oceans and barriers between.
Deciphering the waste from the optimally,
landing on my feet
means everything;
maintaining my faith,
a necessity.

Overwhelmed and anxious, I find relief-
in a sense of stability
in the event I flee.
        Always a way out,
        but not always-
back to thee.

She asked me if i need you,
but my response was meek.
"I wonder if I'll need him-
while floating out to sea..."

home is a place,
where the walls don't smell
of regret,
or extintion,
or torment,
or hell.

home is a place,
where the doors revolve,
ambitions stroll in,
while fears disolve.

home is a place,
where the blankets are soft,
a one story house,
with the roof torn off.

home is a place,
where dreams proceed
to have no limit,
no unreachable deed.

home is a place,
built on hope and faith,
heated by love,
and secured by strength.

home is a place,
which will never break,
because the Lord is my savior
and he guides the way.

Sometimes its enough-
no need to carry on.
To continue the letters
that lengthen the song.
That does not matter
for it-
already is done.
Yet you sift through the stars
as if-
there were none.
Go repent, you are
the only one.
Who reminisces the days
when love was sung.
And prevailed and won.
And cheered and hummed.
A time in which
we cared for fun.
Irrelevant now,
enough-
you were wrong.
pointless to try
and lengthen the song.