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I no longer walk the stones,
along the busy street,
Nor do I dance among the shadows
cast beneath my naked feet.

Where once I was oblivious,
of this worlds passing throng,
In the rush and hurried frenzy
I somehow now belong.

In songs and silly laughter,
Once drew my youthful heart,
To places filled with wonder,
vowing never to depart.

Today my time is taken up
pursuing others dreams,
Where I am prone to ponder on,
plots and endless schemes.

O' that I once again might walk,
Atop the stony wall,
Not hurrying to reach some goal,
or fearing I might fall.

But just for fun and nothing more,
find joy in shadow play,
And laugh aloud in foolish glee,
in the middle of the day.

Look at me I'd tell the crowd,
I'm balancing on the wall,
And laugh when they would fuss at me,
don't worry I shall not fall.
copyright 2010 by Sidney E. Johnson
Death told her
           her life should end
and he was her friend

Calmly, she stole my gun
     she walked outside in the sun
pulled the trigger, set the mood
barrel to her head to conclude

I saw her head come undone
,,, Reached down, for my gun
Eyed the chunks in her hair
Now to my head |
                               |I draw a rose there.
Of gunslingers
it's all these feelings
welling up inside me
that make it impossible
to sleep at night.
it's all these memories
of what you did to me
that make it impossible
to cry for you.
it's all this confusion--
am i supposed to or not--
that's making it impossible
to let you go.

i wish it wasn't like this.

22 years old.
but sometimes i feel
the childishness rising within
to the surface
and all i can do is
be a child again.

i scrape my knee:
it's bruised and bleeding.
i cut my finger:
it stings and hurts.
i'm scared of the dark:
I sleep with my Sock Monkey.

Children don't have insomnia.
22 year old's do.
i do.

it's like that song.
"i'm waiting in the dark/ thought that you'd be here by now."
no one's here. you're not here.
i'm alone.

A phone call from someone who loves me
and i love him.
never a call from you though.
never a card, an email, a note
that says you're ok.

and i think to myself
all those years
all those months
all those weeks
all those days
all those hours
all those minutes
all those seconds
all those moments
all those slaps
all those kicks
all those lectures
all those screams
all those punches
all those kisses
all those "i love you"s

i think to myself
i don't want any of it back.
you took all that from me
and i don't want it back.
i don't want you back.

i don't want the pain
i don't want the abuse
i don't want the beatings
i don't want the worthless feeling
i don't want the constant failure
i don't want the loneliness

i want to be happy.
i want:
moving on.
moving past.
forgiving and forgetting.
letting go.
i want to sleep.

i wish i was strong
resilient and fearless.
i wish i was okay.

and i wish you were here.

but i have to stop wishing for those fantasies.
i have to stop dreaming fairytale endings for this story.
i have to stop trying to rewrite unwritten history.
i have to let what is be.

so watch me closely. listen to the sound of my voice.
hear the strength and the surety.
let it fill you with its honesty and truth.

i am walking away from this.

i am not turning my back on you.
but i am walking away.
this is not the life i want.
this is not the life i choose.
if you want me i'll be there.
but you'll never get me like you used to.
i'll never give you all of myself again.
the trust is gone.
and i can't bring it back.
i'm tired of the lies
so i'm walking away.

i never dreamed of this day
i never expected its coming.
i never thought anything like this could happen
i never imagined i'd be saying
Mom, goodbye.
Today Pain shall write for me

As these feelings are just so hard to see

By my heart’s eyes that look only at white

But never at its own dreary plight



Of the pain that is inflicted

By my dreams, now convicted

Of the crime of incompletion

And sentenced to perdition



I craved for glory and fortune and fame

The eternal happiness to be remembered by name

I created the visions of peace and life

And I as the sole destroyer of strife



Time blows away like smoke from a fire

Only to be seen near the flames, never higher

My flames are weak, ******* me dry

Bringing me close to the day when I shall cry



Is my reality too unreal to be real

Or am I just incapable to feel…



That dreams are never meant to come true.
Like the sunlight forcing its way through a cloudy screen,

and the thunder breaking all silence and serene,

a lotus glowing with its aura in a black swamp,

horses that run free on escaping from men's camps,

a butterfly struggling to break its cocoon,

a lion hunting in the feeble light of the moon,

a wounded tigress defending her cubs and enduring all pain,

the birds slowly reaching their nests in the treacherous rain,

nature shows us the path to follow,

how to deal with life when it seems hollow,

make a stand for what you believe in,

stand up for it, never to cave in,

struggle is the beauty of life,

seeing someone break the limits of mind and body is a lovely sight,

when you can expand boundlessly do you feel free,

when you can write a poem without a topic do you feel free...
 Jun 2011 Michella Batts
Jay Pan
His mind is screaming that he’s on flat earth
but his body sways from an entire week’s worth
of pints and ***** on a wave-crashed boat.

Rolling waters (from the wind and rain?),
All while two lovers begin co-mingling,
and deep into night he’s lost while thinking:

“My mind screams of solid ground,
My body tilts and tumbles ‘round,
I think of the one who no longer waits.
And though I’m not alone,
my heart still breaks”
Move  closer  to  me

Your lips are vibrating inches away from mine

They look cold

I imagine waves of red and white lights reverberating off of them

Hitting me, cold electricity,

Melting into my nose and cheeks

      Move  closer  to  me

I’ll warm your lips
I wish I could ignore them but I know it's too late my heart wants them...
And my mind says to stay away it'll only lead to pain...
So my heart ignores my mind and in the end gets broken...
My heart asks my mind"Will it always hurt when I fall in love?"
My mind says"Yes from time to time there will be pain but you have to know who is worth the pain and who isn't"....
And then a few days later my heart tells my mind"He's worth more pain than could be given"
And all my mind says is"If he's worth it then hold on no matter how much it hurts"
Eyes sliver open languidly, feel out the corners
Stretched, palms pressed against white walls
Pull the covers high above my head
Building courage to greet the day

Lungs fill with a familiar scent
Smile, reach and caress a glowing cheek
Next to me, he turns, all elbows and sighs
Find him  in a second with tingling toes and fingertips

Untangle the limbs and sheets
Firm and nut-brown, coarse in the right places
Soft in the best places, he's flawless
Dare to disturb the rhythmic breathing


Wake up, I whisper
Coffee, he groans
I knew a woman, lovely in her bones,
When small birds sighed, she would sigh back at them;
Ah, when she moved, she moved more ways than one:
The shapes a bright container can contain!
Of her choice virtues only gods should speak,
Or English poets who grew up on Greek
(I'd have them sing in chorus, cheek to cheek.)

How well her wishes went! She stroked my chin,
She taught me Turn, and Counter-turn, and stand;
She taught me Touch, that undulant white skin:
I nibbled meekly from her proffered hand;
She was the sickle; I, poor I, the rake,
Coming behind her for her pretty sake
(But what prodigious mowing did we make.)

Love likes a gander, and adores a goose:
Her full lips pursed, the errant note to seize;
She played it quick, she played it light and loose;
My eyes, they dazzled at her flowing knees;
Her several parts could keep a pure repose,
Or one hip quiver with a mobile nose
(She moved in circles, and those circles moved.)

Let seed be grass, and grass turn into hay:
I'm martyr to a motion not my own;
What's freedom for? To know eternity.
I swear she cast a shadow white as stone.
But who would count eternity in days?
These old bones live to learn her wanton ways:
(I measure time by how a body sways.)
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