It seemed
only right
that the
day you
told me
you were
in love
with me
it poured
like our
town had
never seen
rain. When
I looked
out the big
windows
and turned
to you to
say "I wish
I was at
home" it
was like
you knew
the words
before I
said them
and you
nodded
slowly
and
bumped
your
shoulder
against
mine,
a simple
understanding,
and I was
sure I was
in love
with you,
too.

I dreamed I was
on your couch
and you gave me
that white blanket
I love and you
played with my
fingers and kissed
me on my temple
just like always
and your eyes
did that little
crinkly thing I
look forward to
when you laugh
and you said,
"I've missed you
so much."
And I woke up
and reached out
to find you, but
I found I was
in my own bed
in my own room
in my lonely apartment.
I don't want to go
back to sleep.

Light words in dark times only cast shadows.

My mommy said that people come here
because they're very sad
Well can you tell me what sad does to you
Because I think I have sad too*
And we sat and talked for a half of an hour
about how we'd rather nap time
over play time, most days
This six year old girl
with big green eyes
And I
In the waiting room
at my psychatrist's

The other
night I was
                                        greedy
              ­                          selfish
                               ­         muddled
and I didn't know
how to say
                                       "I need you
                                        wrapped
             ­                           around me
                                        because I've
                                        been having
                                        trouble sleeping
                                        without you."
in a way that
wasn't desperate.
But desperate is
                                        what I was
                                        what I am
                                        what I will be.