i cant take this
im gonna break
deep thots
falling into this abyss
of sorrow
looking ahead
towards tomorrow
but theres no light
at the end of this tunnel
i cant stand it
are you happy
that you've done this to me
now i
cant stand the ******* sight of you
the look
your smell
everything about you
disgusts me
churns my stomach
your emptee promises
pierce right through me
like a needle though  a vest
or my bullet through your chest
your history
you mean nothing to me
and you try to call yourself a father
but yet you wont even call
why?
thats all i want to know
i want reasons
no more excuses
ive grown too old for 'em
there getting useless
i see right through 'em
i aint stupid
its your loss
ill get through this
i did a thousand times before
youd say you come
id sit and wait
but not even get a call
im done wasting my time
i gotta let go
before i commit a crime
by the way dad
i miss you..

emtee thots fill my head
my mind races
theres no ammend
thoughts of fear
thoughts of sorrow
thoughts of love
where my beer
i need more drugs
to keep me sane
didnt you hear
im out the game
no longer in the clear
ive lost it
and theres no turning back
the ***** in the mis
STRIKEOUT!
turn the lights out
hurry up
before i ******* knock you out
watch out
dont doubt
im crazy, im physco

thots and decisions
questions and contemplations
should i stay or should i go
is this my place
your place
what kind of place
is one like this
medicine and tv
helmets and screaming
i dont belong here
you dont belong here
nobody does
here your not human
just mentally insane
trying to make your way
no one understands
what its like to be me
what i gotta go through
the pain
the hurt
the game
of life
is ridiculous
viscous
and malicious

twisted and insane
broken and starved
blind but driven
i cant feel a thing
nothing matters anymore
i cant see a thing
i can only feel where i want to be
im hungry
i refuse to feed
tired
but all i do is sleep
its all i cant do
in this demented place
i  sleep
i wake but not to eat
but for the after meal smoke
ill nibble a bit
while i sit
and wait
impatiently

locked away
withing nothing to say
but answer
this or that
or how im feeling
do you hear voices?
do you want to live?
if this is what the res of my life holds
than NO!!
who would
its breakfast
smoke
group and group and some more group
lunch
smoke
visit
than
you guessed it
smoke
sit and ****** around
for round 3 hours
than dinner
smoke
sit around
wait for a visit
pray someone comes
smoke
******
smoke
lights out its eleven
please just turn mine out
ive had enough of this
everyday its the same ******* routine
the days are long
wish they were short
but the nights you ask
way too short
lifes too short
to be locked away like this
this *****
no really it bnlows
im loosing it
this pace makes me want to **** myself
more than
anything else

drowning in my own tears
wasting away in all my fears
my hopes, my dreams, my prayers
are gone
gone with the rest of me
gone with no return
never to be
never ment to be
i guess it should be clear
that i want whats not there
i want something i cant have
i want to be with you
but what you mean to me
doesn't seem quite like
what i mean to you
i love you
you said you did
but was it true?

Im sick of you
im done with you
you've put me through enough
your not real
im going insane
im drowning
burning
disappearing into the black abyss
of my empty soul
like a black hole
in the universe
******* in whatever life it can steal
and its ******* all the life out of me
i can barely stand to eat a meal
i was so fixed on you
but now im drowning in you
drowning in this hopeless life
walking on the blade
praying for my life
but this knife
is just to tempting
to accidently slip its way through me
deeper than you have gone into me
youre in my head
when i sleep
your in my bed
when i speed down the road
thinking i lost you
dead and cold
but there you are
there is no escape
everywhere i turn
there you are
my car
my dreams
my hopes
even my prayers
are nothing but your own
i have no thoughts
no feelings
no emotions
NOTHING
I'M NOTHING WITHOUT YOUU!!!!