I feel sick now.
Jaw clenched tight.
As the suns shine,
Begins to fade.
Holding it in,
With all my might.
Dimmed and flickering now.
Holding on with no aide.
Trying not to explode.
IM NOT LOOSING THIS FIGHT!
Like a candle.
Lit only to be seen,
By those who could.
Those, the only who should.
Lit to bring light to this darkness.
Which has risen upon me.
Wax burns away..
As night turns to day.
For what should be replaced,
By the light of the sun.
Is returned only back,
To the absence of light.
The dark slowly creeps in.
Unforgiving,
For any sin.
Not the large or the small.

I can't take this
I'm gonna break
deep thoughts
falling into the abyss
of sorrow
looking ahead
towards tomorrow
but theres no light
at the end of this tunnel
i can't stand it
are you happy
that you've done this to me
now i
can't stand the ******* sight of you
the look
your smell
everything about you
disgusts me
churns my stomach
your empty promises
pierce right through me
like a needle through a vest
or my bullet through your chest
your history
you mean nothing to me
and you try to call yourself a father
but yet you won't even call
why?
thats all i want to know
i want reasons
not excuses
I've grown to old for 'em
there getting useless
i see right through 'em
i'm not stupid
its your loss
ill get through this
but you'll have to live with this
I've done it a thousand times before
you'd say you come
i'd sit and wait
but not even get a call
I'm done wasting my time
i gotta let go
before i commit a crime
by the way dad
i miss you..
but you've blown that now
your chances are done
and now i'm sitting behind this gun
waiting for you to bite the bullet
so all these lies
and deceit will end
no longer will
i have to wait for it to amend
goodbye..

i sit and lie awake
no longer in hate
no longer dreading
the new day to break
you make my heart sing
and rejoyce.
i lie awake
atincipating the new days dawn
the times spent
it went
so fast
the way we met
so suddenly
you were nothing to me
but now you have become me
digging me out of the hole i was in
bringing me to life
back to the surface
like phoenix
rising from its own ashes
rebirthed to a new
openminded
self divided
mind blowingly new self
to live and breathe
once again
no longer do i dread
the sun to come up
now i cant wait for it to arise
so we can once again be together
forever
my little sunshine
i cannot begin to express
my love for you
i say i am true
and so do you
i pray to a god i dont believe in
to know that you mean what you say
and you say what you mean
i am yours
and you are mine
to hold
to love
and to find
a new way
a day
when we can be free
no longer clamped
in the hands of the man
free
free to be
to live
to die
together..

Today
Just doesn't feel right.
Yesterday
Took off
With flight.
Tomorrow
I worry.
I can't wrap my head
Around this.
When were together you seem
To care.
When were not
You appear so rare..
Where are we at?
I'm so confused!
Where will we be in the future?
You need to choose.
I want you,
Like plants want the sun.
I need you,
Like fish need water
In the pond.
Have we moved to fast?
I can't tell.
To me all this just
Feels oh  so natural.
Am I wrong to feel this way?
I honestly can't say.
I need an answer!
Maybe not today
Please think about it.
My feelings for you,
Grow inside me
Like a cancer.
Bigger and greater
As the days roll past.
But maybe one day
Some day.
I will have my answer.
And on this day,
I will finally have my day in the sun.

Why must this be
How is this happening 
You always mange to
Grab a hold of me
Didn't I say
I was done with these games?
Such foolish games
I don't like to play
You know I don't like this
FAll you do is say
These things I cannot hear
I will not
But your a whorl pool 
In my sea of sorrow
Grabbing ahold 
Never ceases to let go
For so long
You always come back
WHY WON'T YOU JUST GO!!
And get out of my head
I want to fall back
Before you came to be
I lived happy
My soul was free
Which seemed it could last
A whole eternity
But now our souls have met
Once again
And will forever be
Until my end

sitting and wishing
waiting
forever itching
to find my way
avoiding the broken path
i like an adventure
take me through the paths
that have yet been unfolded
discover but only to wonder
i want to open a new world
free my mind
float not to be molded
tarpped and strapped
in this life
of being told
what to do and when to do it
i want to drift off in the sea
for forever to be free
swim with the fish
then learn to fly
take off like a bird
flying high in the sky
floating away
finding new worlds
and ways to live
being free
doing whatever i please
living my life
me just being me