While I sit and stare at Summer Days,
Through windows blotting out the Sun.
I think of all the things,
I said I would but Haven’t done.

I thought I needed to share my time,
A second heart to make me shine.
Living a life I thought Sublime.
I’ve learnt a lot through time and trail.

Now tasked with separating fact from fiction,
I feel more and more lost in translation.
It’s not the end of me I know that I’ve grown,
Genesis is what time has shown.

A single light in Darkness shines,
Brighter each time you blink your eyes.
Part of a whole is not what defines,
Even the mighty oak eventually dies.

In parting I say we’re better apart,
Not parts of a whole but apart wholes ourselves.
My intention was never to break a fragile heart,
But knowledge imparted like books on the shelves.

I'm fighting love and running scared,
All my norms’ and boundaries dared.
I want to hold, and care and embrace with a kiss,
But right now it’s no Hit and more Miss.
It’s been a long time and I'm finding my feet,
I want to dance and sing, I'm loving the beat.

Some say it’s easy and Some says it’s hard,
And some says it’s as cliché as a Seasons Greetings Card.
Some tell you go and Some tell you stop,
And some egg you on like a Rider and Crop.
I'm not sure and I feel a little lost,
But practice makes perfect no matter the cost.

I may still need some time to fully explore,
All of the things and people I adore.
But I'm opening my heart to patience and love,
Hoping you’ll find it fits like a glove.

It is quite conclusive that I'm ready to change,
But that doesn't mean I don’t feel a bit Strange.
He Was, Is and Always will Be,
A bigger Part of the life of me.
I will never forget the way that I felt,
But it’s time to move forward with the cards I've been dealt.

My broken soul like shattered glass,
The Sharp and Stabbing emotions won’t pass.
You can see it in my eyes I'm Dead on the inside,
No Love, No Lust, not Even Envy or Pride.
I tried…

So tired, so broken never to change,
Cold and Careless spreading like mange.
Dark, Black diseased is my heart,
And your responsible for this in no small part.

It was always about you even when you said it was false,
The highs the lows but still a killers steady pulse.
But actually it was never your choice to live life through me,
Now all you've done is **** the child inside who was so full of glee.
The caged Bird died… not free…

Are you pleased with yourself and are you Happy inside,
It hurt like hell you selfish ***** so much so I've not even cried.
I'm angry as sin and I want no part of it any more,
I'm not interested to know what happens behind that closed door.
It’s not my place to beg and to plead,
But it’s about time the warnings you heed.

I know it was not meant what you did and you said,
But now the sleepless nights meet me in bed.
The sun doesn't shine and there’s no silver lining,
The water is cold and so uninviting.
No warmth on my skin I've died deep down,
The water is cold and I'm ready to drown.

I've crashed and I've burnt and I've become a worthless mess,
I'm twitchy and nervous in perpetual distress.
I've got no direction and I don’t really care,
I've run out of love and I don’t want to share.

I tried…
No Love, No Lust, not Even Envy or Pride,
You can see it in my eyes I'm Dead on the inside.
The Sharp and Stabbing emotions won’t pass,
My broken soul like shattered glass.

If only you knew how much it hurt,
Lying here face down in the dirt.
Unable to move or breathe or cry,
And barely even able to die.
I've often asked why did it happen to me,
But clear as day the 'why' I can now see.

I allowed it to happen and for you to take hold,
I allowed it all and now I feel cold.
Chilled to my core and my fire extinguished,
The lust for life I have now relinquished.
No sparkle no lust no need to go on,
And no charming thoughts since you've been gone.
I don't want your pity and I don't want your shame,
I just want you to stop this silly little game.

I can't open my mouth but I want you to know,
No matter the cost I must go on with the show.
The final curtain call my last night on stage,
The choice is made I'm no longer your Page.
It is going to be hard to do what is right,
But I am going to try with every ounce of my might.

Every day is a fight a head full of strife,
Every day is a fight and a waste of a life.
Every day is a fight the war's just begun,
Every day is a fight now that the fat-lady's sung.

I don't want to let go,
I'm not sure that I can.
I don't want to let go,
I'm not that kind of man.
I don't want to let go,
I wish there was time.
I don't want to let go,
I wish you were mine.

Lost in the space of uncharted love,
Lost in the stars that float up above.
Lost in your eyes with no aim or direction,
Lost in your smile I've shown no discretion.

I have never let go of the way that I felt,
But that time has come the cards have been dealt.
I feel so alone but you're not to blame,
I never hated the players I hated the game.
I hid who I was, who I am and would've been,
Hoping my love for you would be seen.

The pain is old and may have dulled,
But the void you left remains unfulfilled.
I want it gone but I don't want to let go,
There is still so much more I wanted to know.
Like why's it so hard and how long will it last,
The time we had just seemed to go by so fast.

It's not like I need you but I want you so bad,
Even just two more minutes which is really quite sad.
I don't know what you did or why to you I am still bound,
And the answer I need remains to be found.
My war rages untamed the front lines push on,
The advantage I thought I had is now gone.
The fronts are divided the head and the heart,
And the love that I felt is tearing me apart.

Lost in your smile I've shown no discretion,
Lost in your eyes with no aim or direction.
Lost in the stars that float up above,
Lost in the space of uncharted love.

I don't want to let go,
I wish you were mine.
I don't want to let go,
I wish there was time.
I don't want to let go,
I'm not that kind of man.
I don't want to let go,
I'm not sure that I can.

If I told you how I felt would I,
Be a different kind of guy.
Would I laugh and play in careless dreams,
Or would I still be so torn at the seams.
Would it hurt to see your face,
Would I still be stuck in the same place.

Would I love and would I care,
Would I cry and would I share.
Could I be a softer soul,
Will I ever again be whole?

I tried to escape the way I feel,
I've tried to disguise your intoxicating appeal.
I want you gone I need you out,
But I still want you so bad I scream and shout.
It's always a fight to try move past the pain,
I relive that day over and over and over again.

I must be strong in ways I know not,
To hear your name and still not give-up.
To be thankful and happy for all that I've got,
But still living like I've got a half empty cup.
I want it to end no matter the price,
I'm sick to death of Fate and her dice.

Don't invite yourself in and don't get settled down,
You may be prince charming but you still don't wear the crown.
Its easy to say you'll fit right in,
But time will test your growing grin.

The game of life was set in motion,
Playing hard with no set notion.
Roll the dice and make your play,
You'll soon find out its you who'll pay.

I stuck it out and hoped for more,
It was like beating on the now closed door.
I found no resolve with you by my side,
It was painfully true what needed be done.
It broke my heart knowing that I tried,
But still I knew the end had begun.

I tried not to hurt you I really tried hard,
But you forced my hand the final card.
To soften the blow would do us no good,
There was no way out I did what I could.

You did me no favours I am who I am,
You showed me we weren't all Glitz and Glam.
I did what I did so you did not have to,
I may have dropped the ball but so did you.

Now its ended and neither one won,
A game we thought was meant to be fun.
So I reset the board and wiped the slate clean,
And tried to forget what was and had been.