A creepy tickle on my skin,
A cold shiver up my spine.
Seven of them deadly – sin,
Wind whips past a candle lit shrine.

A darkness Grows and Envelops,
A numbing daze a disconnected expression.
No room inside as the Darkness Develops,
Clawing at the water sheer desperation.

You see it I feel it we live it together,
Plunge deeper the well of hopes and dreams.
Nature the Mother lest we never forget Her,
The struggles precipitous terror the screams.

I can’t help but feel I missed my chance.

It’s wrong for me to say I love you,
When your heart is somewhere else.
Now I say it’s love without a clue,
It’s funny when you feel your heart pulse.

I see his soul and feel his Zeal,
I pace myself as nothing feels real.
If I could take his pain, make him smile,
Feel his joy and embrace him all the while.

I just want to make him happy,
And I know it’s not my place.
Should I fear what I want – Why,
A fear to just reach out and touch his face.

I’m more than a little confused,
And I don’t know what to say.
A friendship to which I’ve mused,
But I know there’s a price to pay.

I’ve walked this one-way street before,
Using analogies like, waves on the shore,
It’s like hitting reset and zooming back to start,
But this time it feels like I may actually break apart.

All Consuming Darkness prickles on my skin,
And I really don’t know if I’m fighting for a win.
The twisted wreckage of a once proud man,
Who’s really doing all he can.
The life you saw and boy you knew,
Watched the light fade and the shadows grew.

I lose my mind one sunrise and moonshine at a time,
One Tick, One Marble, One innocuously innocent crime.
In the darkest corners of my proliferating insanity,
Lurk the creatures of nethermost intensity.
Inside it churns and bubbles and writhes,
One rolling tear that never dries.

His passion lights fires, an unwavering warriors soul,
His determination gives purpose, a true survivors goal.

Holding back the tears, floodgates at the ready,
One Day, One Minute, One at fault, unsteady.

Phantasms abound unreal reaction,
You are the embedded One - real distraction.
I find no comfort in the darkness only consolation,
And when the light shines deeper, stark Isolation.

Mislabelled passion and faulted conviction,
It seemed like such an easy decision.
A flicker of hope and a hopeless addiction,
But the truth here is stranger than fiction.
Laid down flat I ironed out the wrinkles,
But now all I can feel is bizarre numbing prickles.
I said over and over that I’d never confess,
Although my lusting heart I had to address.

I don’t regret it, I love it, feeling free as a bird,
But the emptiness I feel is just absurd.
How is it possible to miss something so much,
So much of something you never had.
I used you to get me thought just like a crutch,
But learning to walk again ain’t so bad.

It never broke me that I will concede,
I’ll come back from the brink and I will succeed.
Letting go and learning how,
To love again and what to allow.
My attachment is fleeting the tide receded,
Figuring out what really preceded.

Even though you may never have known,
You were a big part of my life I had never shown.
But without you there I would never have grown,
I’d have lived life in a mottled tone.

I think what I’m trying to say is Thank You,
I owe you more than just what’s due.
You sculpted a boy into a man with a cause,
You offered help and friendship without even a pause.
You had no idea and it was probably for the best,
And I was waiting for East to meet West.

If I’m honest with myself calling it for what it be,
I would not be half the person I currently see.
So again, I say from the depths of my heart,
I’m blessed and Thank You in no small part.

Written by: M K Dobison

I struggle to breathe feels like I’m suffocating,
It hurts again and there is no placating,
A bleeding heart and blurry eyes,
I fall to my knees and call out to the skies,
Take it away take it all I don’t care,
Take me away and just strip me bare.

I don’t want you to **** me don’t even kiss me,
All I want is for you to know, for you to see,
I’m not as unbreakable as I pretend to be,
I stumble and fumble and struggle to disagree,
C'est la vie, la vie…

I just can’t control the Surging feelings deep down,
Just sitting alone in the darkness I drown.
Just turn it off like flicking a switch,
Not sure where to turn, which way is which.
I’m so angry and hurt I don’t know what to do,
I’m angry and hurt because I can’t be with you.

It’s my own stupid fault my own foolish mistake,
And now all that’s left of me is a dull pulsing ache.
There’s not much more of me left now to break,
The make-up runs, it peels and begins to flake.
The curtain goes back up and I begin to shiver and quake,
I’d prayed it was over for my own selfish sake.

It’s like someone punched a hole in my chest,
Like taking a bullet straight through the vest.
As much as it hurts I don’t want to forget,
Because as hard as it is on you I’d still bet.
This hole in my chest is all that I’ve got,
To be sure that your smile I never forgot.

Written by: M.K. Dobison

Another lost chance to find the light,
And I’m trying hard with all my might,
Not to lose my mind and all control,
A broken heart and torn soul.

I should’ve spoken my mind if I’d only known how,
I could’ve made it right but that’s all in hindsight now.
I would’ve give you my heart and asked for nothing in return,
And no all I have is nights when I watch my heart burn.

Just to hold you and feel you and know you were there,
To see you and hear you and let you know that I’d care.
I’d never have asked for more than you had,
I’d have cradled your head when you were sad,
I’d have weathered the storms the good with the bad,
I’d have walked in your shadow and I would’ve been glad,
Just to have you around me near me and with me,
That I’d walk The Mile if I knew it was you I’d see,
Waiting and smiling and looking my way,
I’d walk that Mile and ‘I Love You’ I’d say.

I was desperate and distant and by hope I was blinded,
And my want was too selfish and one sided, divided.
The fact is I’m broken, I’m torn, I’m falling apart,
The walls are high around this guarded heart.
I wanted you here but wouldn’t let you in,
Scared and lonely I hide behind the Joker’s grin.

A broken heart and torn soul,
Trying Not to lose my mind and all control.
And I’m trying hard with all my might,
Yet another lost chance to find my light.

Written by: M.K. Dobison

I touch your skin and it warms my heart,
I caress your lips and see them part.
I hear your laugh and my knees go weak,
You hold me tight and I just listen to you speak.
I watch you sleep and feel you there,
You gave me your all but I was happy to share.

I woke with a smile but it soon changed to tears,
When I realise my deepest and greatest desires and fears.
No one was there and reality came into the light,
I tried to convince myself to continue the fight.
But I cowered in the corner clutching my chest,
Is this what I have to look forward to, was this really the best?

The days pass by me feeling empty and cold,
I don’t even cry anymore at the stories they told.
The sun is high, bright in the blue sky,
And every so often a tear still escapes my eye.
When I remember the feelings I had that night,
I still have to clutch at my chest and hide out of sight.

I cry alone in the dark it’s better that way,
There is obviously still a Piper to Pay.
Forlorn in the dark I hold onto that dream,
The sun, the field, the flowers the stream.
The light on your face and the smell on the air,
It’s still more than I would ever dare.

Written by: M.K. Dobison

I threw it all away like smoke through my fingers,
Scattering my dreams self-sabotage – it figures.
I've lost the passion and I'm running on fumes,
You’re okay it will be fine – everyone just presumes.
Working Hard and Sleeping light,
Starting from scratch now that’s my fight.

I'm all out of love, fervour and conviction,
Wondering if the efforts are worth the reward.
Moving through space and time with little direction,
And sometimes not being able to tell back from forward.
Losing hope embraced by Fears,
I'm complacent and waiting for something exciting.
Looking out and holding back the tears,
Emotionless void never abating.

I heard them say you can fix a mirror if it broke,
But you’ll still see the crack in my reflection.
Days and joys past I cannot evoke,
A broken compass offers no direction.
I can feel the hate growing inside.
Filling the void left by the ebbing tide.

Starting from scratch now that’s my fight,
Working Harder and Sleeping light.
You’re okay, it will be fine – that’s what I assume,
I've lost the passion and can’t keep running on fumes.
Searching my dreams self-sabotage – it figures,
I’d thrown it all away like smoke through my fingers.