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It's late
crazy night
still drunk
laying in bed
staring at the spinning ceiling
If only she were here..
Anyway

better get to sleep
works in a few hours
shouldn't have gotten tacos
they were so good though
and i never get to see my boys now
god that was fun
remember last time we double dated
stayed up all night over looking the city
moving on

I should call off
rents due soon
i spent too much money last night
why did i keep buying shots
who's idea was it to take shots?
Its Wednesday!
she would have talked some sense into me
always was the responsible one
gave balance to my *******

Im gonna text her
tell her how great she was
she needs to know right now
and then well get coffee after work
this is perfect
I have the best drunk ideas
what could go wrong
I am the pebble that fells giants
a peasant that cant be bought
the jewels I seek don't shine
building or taking all that i need

I am the shepard in the storm
a warrior that just wont stay down
the pain i take is for those I love
laughing as death sees me and blinks

I am the oak that stands the test of time
a thorn in the side of empires
the blow I deliver will root itself in history
forcing the world to remember my name
peering into his eyes I can sense a familiar spirit
this man also lives for the thrill of testing his limits
of pushing himself just to the edge of life
leaning over to get a look at the other side
and at the last possible moment
escaping on the slimmest of chances

I wonder if this is the man to defeat me
I hope he's prepared to go all the way
that's the only way you leave a fight like this
when your opponents heart stops beating

An electric shock runs down my spine
it spreads and stuns my muscles
the air is so incredibly thin now
This is the moment I live for
when you overcome all fear
let go of the illusion of control
and ride that powerful wave into ultimate victory
OMW
Do you know why I got so mad that night. I was an hour away with my family and in that moment, you had me. You had me in a place that I told myself I would never end up again, and there I was standing in that insanity once more.

Story of my life really. She calls and I come running. Just like clockwork. You called that night, and I ran. But no signs of a wolf when I got there. Just a girl claiming she wanted to see me. How could I be mad at that? Easily when I consider what was left to save you from boredom. Hardly at all, when I remember how you saved me from drowning just days before.

I didn't mean to lead you on. Its just that we found ourselves in the same place that night, and when the bourbon wasn't enough anymore we found comfort in each others arms. Together we forged a life raft. For awhile kept each other alive as we drifted in sorrow on a sea of hard liquor. I thought we found the shore together but maybe land didn't agree with your legs or it was the wrong island altogether.

Either way I Like it here, and i'm trying to make it work. So in the future if your bored call someone else. If you need a good distraction, find it anywhere else. If you do find yourself in trouble and no one else picks up. Dial my line, you know ill be running.
you asked why i'm still around
when your so obviously broken
most men would be sprinting
after seeing you so un-made up

truth is they were weak
where they saw damage
I saw strength
cant recognize it if you lack it

I knew the real you the day we met
felt your edges and never looked back
we don't have to fix each other
we fit together

in the end I love you because i know
that anyone who smiles so brightly
can only have lived in the darkness
and that's beautiful
A cog in my system has gone missing
Many times others have sought to replace it
It would always end the same
With me walking away into the sunset
the ashes of her life in my wake

My intentions were nothing but good
And for a moment I was soaring again
Usually this only lasts the length of a night
Or however long she can tolerate my *******
before the realization hits That the void cant be filled

It kills me to watch them weep as they walk through the door
I say nothing and let them hate me
To keep them where they cant shine would be a crueler fate
I sit at the back of my favorite bar and drink to their names

I Think back to how I cherished them for different reasons
A shy laugh
A secret
A pair of soft lips and the way shed kiss me

But in the end
Some didn't quite fit
Others matched perfectly but our speeds just wouldn't align
All deserve more than what I have to give
My sanity is high maintenance
With each day that passes it asks more of me
There are times I question its necessity
Wonder if its the source of my strife
Monotony
Self destruction

I purge myself of these thoughts with feminine distractions
If none are available I drown out the wailing with whiskey
Its a good time for awhile
Lots of laughing
Crying
*******

The hunger finds me when the last person leaves the room
A sure sign that the cycle has started anew
Maybe this time it'll be different
But no matter how much is fed the emptiness expands
Fights
Takes over

Once its drained me of all life
Its time to do something stupid
Kick start some trouble
Any I can find
So I leap without looking
Then deal with the consequences later
After
Never
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