She broke the bottle over our heads
and the milk mingled with the blood.
That's how one feeds monsters.
The fingernails dig in deep and pull out threads of fabric.
It might have held the world instead of bled, she said
But I can't toe the line of a killer.

I strike a match
Light the fire
Not-
to watch the world burn
Rather-
to finally feel some warmth.

I play in the ashes
Footprints left behind
Not-
to get somewhere important
Rather-
to leave something I'll be remembered by

I say my prayers
Before I sleep
Not-
to get any sort of help
Rather-
to  make the world a better place

Making new frames out of broken china,
the walls came crumbling down.
Out of new frames I make the greatest picture the world has ever found.
Of all the licks of orange,
the fabric torn,
the world and all it's sounds;
it would be you,
you and a box of matches to burn the whole thing down.
The whole thing down.

Broken boys make broken girls
who break the pavement down the road.
And all who follow best beware to tread quite lightly, tread with care.
Because broken girls make broken men,
who fall head first and break their shins.
With broken bones and broken hearts
and broken pathways from the start.

Fix me up a fine web to die in.
If you don't mind.
If it's not too much trouble.
Can you just hit me upside of the head a few times
until I forget where I am or what I was doing?
Shoot me in the face if you like.
If you find it prudent to do so,
dump me in an alleyway and leave me for dead.
Because I can't stand being stared at and waiting.

We are mad as birds, in love in a dark home.
I wished I could be you.
In the drunken daze of submission with aggression,
in the Nicaraguan touch that has turned blue.
Touched by the cold trained tongue that you have become.

Both of us not right in the head.
Both of us not quite ready for bed.

You sit high on your thrown these days.
I weep for apologies at your feet and
I wish for months for your gilded heart
To take some time and remember me.
I remember in the beginning you were not so mean.

Both of us have made our bed
Both of us will die in it.

We used to dance to the sounds of our youth
but I haven't heard that song in a while and
it seems that I have forgotten all the moves.

We used to roll our car windows down until they
no longer existed and we would sing loud enough for
the wind to hear, as if the wind could even hear at all.

We used to walk the red clay trail leading to the
convenient store. We'd push each other round in
tiny metal carts and play our childish games to the
sound of elevator music.

But now the store is no longer open for business,
and those tiny metal carts have been placed
somewhere else. The car windows are resting
in a motor infested park and the wind has blown
our echoes away.

A time not too long ago but long enough to allow things to change.
The memories still exist and the songs still published but that moment in time will never come back.
It seems so strange that you used to know me like all the words
to your favorite Bob Dylan song because now you have a new song for a new friend.
And now I stand years away from you with those dusty songs that you haven't listened to in years thinking about the things we used to do.

Ive 'nunquam magis sentiuntur solus* is Latin for
                                 I've never felt more alone.

I only learned Latin because
For some reason, I think that if I say things in the root of most languages,
I'll find most of the roots to these feelings.
But... Cogitationes strangulatus.
It's funny. Saying "thoughts stifle" in latin, merely sounds like cognitive strangles.
                                Not that it's any different, really.
It just sounds so much more like what I want it to be.
The English language has a hard time
Catching the depth of things
without sounding like it's trying too hard.
I want to be able to say something once, just once,
and be done with it.
To stop ruminating on you and find peace knowing that when I say
Reliquum aliud nihil est dicere
I don't just mean "there's nothing left to say."
I mean that *I've said everything I needed to say.