Half stitched heart rips at the seams
begging to be sewed once more
Preachers, like thieves, run rampant
and lie dormant.
The infection burrows deeper
its making me sick
slowly writhing, twisting and
turning the dull blade, severing
the stitches with every turn.
Defiant love ***** away my soul
only to replace it with torment
and pain.
Its the only thing I know.
Kind words and a smile is fake
I can see the pity.

pasties on a $10 stripper..
oh how you make them shake.
taking men's money,
no matter what’s at stake.
gotta feed the kids
some how, some way..
left behind a life
that was broken and fraid.
cold lonely nights,
but I'm sure you've brought someone home,
I know you have problems sleeping alone.
breath of cheap beer,
heart full of fear..
I knew you what path you'd choose,
you don't know it yet,
you're gonna loose.

She sat up in bed
in the middle of the night,
asking what time it was.
I told her it was 1:30.
She got up.
Went to the bathroom,
laid back in bed
and complained about being hot.
I told her she didn't have to stay.
She was off the hook.
Maybe she wanted me to beg
her to stay?
To make her feel
a little more wanted?
I wouldn't give in.
Standing my ground,
I watched her walk out the door.
Now as I look behind me,
the bed seems a little more
lonelier.
I could have had someone
to hold on to.
Instead,
I'll have to squeeze
on this old pillow,
I've grown used to.

Like loneliness?
Try it sometime.
Take a butter knife
cut out your heart,
lay it on the counter.

Complications
aggravation
desperation
loss.

Never to return again
from where?
God only knows.
Tattered and torn.

No hope
all is lost
push rewind
to start over again.

A lifetime
full of pain
some pleasure.
One doesn't come
without the other.

****** if you do.
****** if you try!

Ain't nuttin out there I need.
I'll survive on my own.
Closed up tight
like a drum.
You ain't gettin' in.
try to open me,
I swallowed the key.

If you tried
to open my mind
you'll get shutdown
with the rest.
Pump my veins
with your medications,
You ain't gettin' in.

Don't need food,
I feed off anger.
Don't need shelter,
I'm inside myself.
Don't need love,
I have hate.
Don't need water,
I'm already drowning.

Bathe in madness.
Counting the stones
dropped from time.
A continuous drip,
tapping its tap,
against a
schizophrenic mind,
echoes insanity.

A beating heart
fading.
seen the sun
lately?
Dancing dark
clouds twist
aimlessly into
nothing.

Sure.
Bipolar *****,
missed sanity
again.
Read a book,
learn about
life.
Realize.
Real Lies.

paint pictures
on walls
built up
around my mind.
I breathe in
the pollution.
burning
inside my brain.
don't think
negative thoughts.
I pray for it
to be taken away.
It fills me.
you turn
against me.
I am sorrow.
stomach in knots
mind floating
once more.
please stop this ride
I want to get off.