Backyard El Rancho
This is how we tell time here
Turntable and dry

I came to this world on a cloud
A code shot timely in a space of endless nothing
Down upon the firmament so pure
To impregnate the first bright spring

It seems that nothing ever counts as fable
To each his own in thoughts built by his kind
And if you meet a man who is unable
Make him into a man of good and grace refined

The beggard jew came down upon the land
Shaping these elements into forms small and grand
Then zipping off back to that old great center
At the start an infinite equidistance back

What creatures crawled from the sea
Then split in two to go each way;
To come back again and make three
In a dance of cosmic play?

One was endowed with a rod of creation
The other with an endless void
Designed to fit just right
Just like a child's toy

When I'm hard and potent it's intense
Feels like I'm holding back the power of the sun
And then for fun I come undone
Squirting my fertilizer all over the floor

I'm a ****** so I don't know much
But I can form a perfect image in my mind
So any face I find
I can make it with

What creatures crawled from the sea?
One given a rod of creation
The other with an endless hole
And instructed through pleasure to achieve one goal

As society unrolls
And the deep state controls
I look to the ancients
For my deepening soul

It flowed in a dream
Some subconscious flash in the night
Then ebbed back by morning
To disappear in the light

The deep soul is watching
Recording everything
Teaching lessons each night
From the experience of the infinitude

It flowed from a dream
Something vague yet compelling
The deep soul is watching
The eternal eye sees

I was content to become a revolutionary ***
Until I bought the dream
And said I'll work and do my share
To build a life beyond compare

First I'd have to pay my debt
And save some capital in 10 years
To rebuild credit and get a down payment
To learn of love not fear

I realized the political world mirrors the spiritual
The wealthy are angels of god
While the liberals are demons of satan
Who corrupt all materials

So I registered as a Republican
And held fast to that dream
We shouldered the burden we were made to do
Which was coded by hands unseen

You've all been warned
The end is nigh
But do not be afraid to die

The deep state is orchestrating genocide
In the name of a bigger world
But the playing field will be leveled
By Jesus as a girl

We are anonymous
You can't stop us
We fall like rain
Then go back up the drain

Ra, Elohim, Ja and Judah
I summon thee to sit like Buddha
And here we all will chat
Where I sleep on my living room mat

You've all been warned
The end is nigh
So do not be afraid to try
To sew up what's been torn

I came down with the Nephilim
So many years ago
To try and build a better world
The code is in my O

I summon the gods of antiquity
To fall upon their knees
And dissolve into the endless creator
In multiples of three

The deep state is committing genocide
They want to build a better world
Someone has to even the score
As singularity unfurls

Walked through Union Station
The other night after a concert
The station was mostly empty
Just the cleaners and some bums

Went down into the underground
Toward the Metro Redline terminal
Was walking down the stairs
And stepped on something soft

I looked back a few steps
A large grey rat laid dying
On the second to last step
Kicking its leg spastically

Sadness dropped upon me
Thank God for poor timing
I walked on to the outbound train
Michael the Accidental Rat Trap

So in an infinity which exists
Can all possibilities exist?

Eternal repetition gnaws at my mind
Eternal renewal sets us free
Did all possibilities exist at one time
Before dissolving into the sea?

All possible perfect worlds would be nice
If we had a way to get there
But we're out here rolling around
As beams of light in the dark of the deep

I guess there had to be a standard
And physical limitations
All possible perfect worlds are limited
By the rule of physical impossibility

All impossible perfect worlds exist
If only in the mind
But when we search we'll find
So many new surprises

What kind of drugs was he on
When he saw the unity of all things?
Which type of kush was he smoking?
Was it indica, sativa or hybrid?

This is a lazy man's enlightenment
To let the plants lead your mind
So whatever you may find
It was shown to you

How many shrooms did Moses eat
When he went up on that mountain?
What stage of schizophrenia was he at
When we thought he talked to God?

Could I jump three rings of density
If I get really high?
Fifth, sixth, seventh and the octave
Clear into a bigger sky

What was Siddhartha smoking
When he sat beneath that tree?
To see all faces in an instant
How he's linked up with me

This channel is too crowded
Too much interference from the infinitude
So many different voices talking at once
Yet they have nothing new to say

She shares my illusions
We converse with the old gods
Then try to write something new
Only to be whipped back into the endless cycle

If infinity has existed for eternity
Then there can be nothing new to do
All possibilities have been achieved
From the terribly mundane to the incomprehensible

Or else we'll just keep spreading
Into the wonderous world of endless possibility
Expanding all the time
Never to return to the past

As I shed old gods for new
Like a reptilian shedding skin
I feel the overwhelming thought of eternity within
Multiplied by the infinity without

She shares my illusions
Recognizes the ascension of new aeons
Envisions the coming harvests to higher densities
As we ultimately merge into the immutable I and I

From the outside of everything
To the inside of you
I sit here on the back porch thinking
What else there is to do

I am an infinitesimally small part of the whole
The center is within my divine spark
Everything is moving around
As I sit here still in my pret

If I ever become a seventh density being
I hope I can finally get you to fall in love with me
All these big thoughts and philosophizing
And I still haven't gotten to know a woman well enough to make magic

I got sick in a Florida winter
Something evil was chasing me
Stayed up all night for days
Most of this probably didn't happen anyway

I started flipping through Gramps's Bible
Leaflets fluttered out
Little signs from God that I was fine
But I still couldn't shut my mouth

The roof of my mouth was bleeding for awhile
So I took more antibiotics and it healed
Went to a doctor then stayed in my room
Took what he gave me then saw how I'd feel

Then I went out driving one day
I thought I was feeling better
Drove all over the Nature Coast and down to the thunder
My mind was in tangles and filled up with wonder

I went to the casino where the sweet siren played
Didn't see her and was feeling too sick still to stay
Drove in a daze all over the freeways
Stopped at Mellow Mushroom for pizza and beer

Ordered the Cosmic Karma pizza dish
Saw Gabby fly by as an angel -- I wish
Ate and drank my beer
Then walked out into the wind and drove home

I got back to the house but I couldn't sleep
Thought my step-dad wanted to **** me
Left a note on the door then drove out in the night
What took place next was a hellish sight

I hit a few people driving out to the river
Was messing with my phone while driving -- go figure
But there were really no bodies there
I was conscious-unconsciously there unaware

One moment I pulled over to the side of the road
Thought the sweet siren was locked in the trunk
I unlocked the trunk and pulled out the nothing
Then the angel Gabby swooped in from the air

She carried the siren off to Heaven
Then I cranked the volume up to eleven
I think I was listening to The Gaslight Anthem
Continued my voyage out into the marsh

I found the place by the river to sleep
Out where the sirens weep
Slept for some time with my head in the trunk
Then it all got stranger from there

Angels came down and were crushing the car
I heard familiar voices all around
Then I summoned the explosive destruction of stars
And reality came clear with a thunderous sound

I ran full speed straight off the road
At a place where the road does bend
Ended up rolling and tumbling a couple of times
Must've really hit my head

The siren was there and strange angels came swooping
Thought I was still in the back feeling loopy
Had *** with the siren then she was freed
And the angels one by one started ****** me

Woke up in the ambulance
I was taken to hospital
Somehow made it through all that with just a scratch
The madness continued for three days and three nights

My mom came to visit and my step-dad and grandma too
I cried and said to them all "I love you"
My dad flew in to see me as well
Then took me back to Los Angeles (Hell)

For too long I hid my Omega Day in my mind
It's been mostly revealed from my unconscious now
Some parts are still missing but I'll find them in time
I swear that wasn't me and it's all disavowed

What can I know?
I'm a being on this earth
Truths and myths are all around
They've haunted me since birth

But what is knowing and what's myth?
These myths are sacred and profane
They blend together like the clouds
And fall as steady rain

What of myths about knowingness -
as the Gnostics do believe?
Flawed men by a flawed creator
Is what you're likely to achieve

The Demiurgos is a painter who painted all we see
Though imperfect, it is beautiful, and your will is always free
Life - it's true - is suffering from birth until the grave
None escape this fate - from king to pet or slave

Still we exist in something
Dissolving on God's tongue
In this confusion of a pantheon
Our spark must weigh a ton

Free me, Lord, from ignorance
Though you can only do so much
Enlightenment is knowledge
Which is still up to us

Integrity is essential
For society and for each man
All in all considering
I'll do just what I can

This life is temporary and I will not learn enough
But with higher light from messengers I might just break these bonds
And be lifted from this situation - freedom from rebirth -
To live as one eternally upon a heaven earth

For now I must admit that so much is in my mind
As above it's so below - from within here to all outside
Jesus Christ and sweet Sophia went through - they were tested, too
Everything they were is in you - do unto as they do

What can I know?
I have been chasing it since birth
The spirit is within me
It's all across the earth

I don't know where we came from
I don't know how I got here
But we might not be here too much longer
I'm sitting here on the back porch of my mind

Swamp gas bubbled up
Or anaerobic somethings commingled in the sea
A single cell expanded
We keep expanding till we're free

I have a megalomaniacal mind
It's a miracle how I think
Just as I chew more cannabis edibles
Then puke them up in the sink

Take another swig of liquor
Read the Bible and curse God
How'd the Lord of all Creation
Go and get this heathen wrong?

Really though I want like everyone
And this life is just a test
Who's the teacher and group leader
Who wanted all of this?

I don't know where I came from
This is my agnostic poem
I don't know how we got here
But I feel right at home

Once my mind is an empty vessel
Then I'm ready to begin
Now just lose more weight
To the point where you're waifishly thin

There's no Jah or Lion of Judah or me
It's all just I and I
Fusing that into the traditions of the East
Is not so hard to do

What is the sound of one hand clapping?
That's a common zen koan
How can I make a sound
When I'm out here waving alone?

I'll wait for you in the bardo
Between this life and the next
And if I don't see you I'll just move on
We're the same as every beast

There are so many books and so little time
I haven't read the Book of the Dead
Although I understand the core of it
Will my heart float on or sink like lead?

I'm in touch with my inner child
But I still need to grow up
To walk the line in my space and time
With grace and a little luck

Karma is out there reverberating the heavens and earth
You're never alone in your pret
My morality flows like ocean tides
Then ebbs back when I forget

Is it true what I heard about the son of God?
I'm waiting here for Everyman in the 21st century
After my wreck I had stigmata on my hands

I wrecked my car on Ash Wednesday
Gave up my car for Lent
Lent started February 10th that year of 2016

I saw a vision of a personal hell
Thought I'd be in that car for eternity
But I saw that sweet siren with me in the car

My vision was something occult-like
Demons swooping in
But it was probably all just in my head

I left Florida and flew back to California
Went to a Catholic church and prayed and took communion
Prayed for Christ to save my soul

Then I set my sights on the Church of Scientology
I heard they are a strange cult and not too good
But with an open heart listened to what they offered

In Dianetics auditing I returned to the car wreck and my birth
Covered some other experiences too
Not sure what they can do with you once you give your thoughts away

I read about the Gnostics and Scientology is something similar
A knowingness of the true spirit instead of faith
It's a lot to unpack and I still don't know much about it

I have infinite faith and infinite doubt
True faith must always have doubt
Not sure what the Gnostics must've been smoking

People come to the faith in mysterious ways
Some institutions try to sell belief
Sometimes it's hard to tell the difference between

But who made the stars and stretched their distances?
Or breathed life into life?
Who created the expanse of endless dark?

Examining the orange tree
Blossoming with springtime buds
Too many for me to count
Which will bloom and which are out?

Some blossoms abort and drop to the soil
Others bloom into full fruits
Some might germinate and take root
Most will be a bowl of oranges

I don't know what happens when failed buds fall
Do they simply decompose and enrich the earth?
Does their consciousness return to God's great hall?
Or through infinite cycles of rebirth?

The trees and plants are greening
Another season of reincarnation
Birds are chirping and eating their seeds
The old fat cat is on a permanent vacation

Hello, Earth
It's me, Michael
Earth to Michael
Michael to Earth

We have some problems that need fixing
Some issues to consider
We're chewing up this planet
Treating it like kitty litter

The Amazon rainforest is down to twenty percent
The oceans are decaying
I know I won't be here very long
But my children might be staying

This planet is really all we've got
Until God gives an answer
So plant your barefeet in the ground
Take one last look at that sweet dancer

Here we go round the prickly pear at
five o'clock in the morning
Inspect the leaves of that old orange tree
and prepare a bowl enduring

This is Michael
I'm just an awakened man
But while I still have time on Earth
I'll do just what I can

Deforestation has taken its toll on most ****** forests
Imagine all the lost medication that we'll never get to use
Is anyone listening to the hippies?
Or are we all just here to abuse?

Overfishing is bringing us to an age where there might not be fish
The dark continent is sick an dying - that's from where we all exist
If we wait too long there'll be nothing for new life to evolve from
Something only a meteor could fix

Caught in between my God/Satan duality I felt a nightmare
What if someone went back in time and cut me from the womb
Would I just dissolve and fall from time?
Can we try this vision soon?

Terminators can go back in time
And so can a Delorean
But only in the movies
But imagine what's in God's emporium

A worn-out fast computer finally cracks the time code
Centuries after every man is extinct
So this new robot-kind finds what they can
By scanning everyone on the net

The robots discover me and my unique viewpoint
Do they read my poem and laugh with me
Or set out to destroy
We'll see

No one wants to run around making sure their parents copulate
Or be hurled into the future where everyone's extinct
But if you go far enough forward you could come back around
Or die in the machine in a transdimension without a sound

They'd probably ***** out history's figureheads first
And like stomping a butterfly could make time reverse
Or everything just shifts and changes
rearranging the wheel in an infinite curse

Hunter S Thompson worried about lizard people in a drug haze
My mind is blown wide open in the New Age
I'm just thinking about aliens and the illiterate light

The Kundalini illustrates our condition
So deep in thought I consider my position
A beam of light in a shell being constricted by snakes

I felt them once in the depths of a fever dream
From where do these thoughts bubble up like steam?
The beings phase-shifted as light and healed my perceived delusions

The snake is the reptilian brain
Reptile aliens made of light will pull out all your pain
Then we'll dance from here across the universe

Jesus Christ had a lizard brain too
All humans do it's true
The devil of his senses that tormented him for 40 nights

I'm amazed by the places my mind goes
Shines bright like a diamond then withers like a rose
Sitting here in my place in this space in time

If there are reptile aliens I hope there are Nordics as well
I'm a Nordic Reptilian but still scared of Hell
It might be all in the mind anyway

The Nordics have the reptilian reactive mind
I'm just looking to find my kind
So I'll know where you're at if the ether continues

The Sumerian tablets say the same thing as Genesis
Or so I've read and what Denny Brewer professed
I listen to The People's Key too much

I have this suspicion that existence is Star Wars
Exalt The Force or the Holy Spirit - It's yours
You mean more than you can ever know

But what if Nietzsche was correct
And nothing can ever be eternal or perfect
Or what if this thing is eternal occurrence forever and ever amen?

There's a Deus Ex Machina inherent in all of us
The genius of our creative minds free us
So we never can repeat the same things again

I've seen stranger things happen, man
Getting closer to the bottom of the rabbit hole scam
A mind is a terrible thing to waste

You were kicked out of Heaven
For having your say
Like they kick kids out in Dixie
Just for being gay

I take out my debit card and buy another record
From the store they named Amoeba
The earliest life in the sea
It's just a crush but I don't need it

I heard your voice in my Long Dark Night
You showed me a vision of Hell
You scanned my brain or was I insane
And found my ringing bell

You planted so many seeds in my head
It's been a tangle but unraveling
Puts the faith in God in me
Your time was long on the earth and you've done a lot of traveling

Angels come down from the heavens
And some of them do fall
Others just pass in between
Then go back to His great hall

How have you been so long on the earth?
When will you change your ways
To shine in Heaven once again
And start a brand new day?

Satan, Lucifer, Beelzebub, Morning Star
Thank you for this time with you
As a human at work or at the bar
You've taught me as much as anyone

They kicked you out of Heaven
for trying to get your way
Everything is a cycle
We'll meet again one day

I am Ra the sun god
I am Jesus Christ
No I'm the Second Coming
I'm one with the light

I had a weird month last month
Caught in a spiritual war
Battles with God and Satan
But life's less of a bore

The mind is a machine
And the body is a phenomenal device
We tick to the meter of the heart
Every day we pay the price

I tried to reinvent the wheel
spinning senselessly with the stars
I was terrified of entropy and unwinding
Lit a fire and ended up behind bars

My only resolution is to keep learning
Expand my feeble mind
While weakening the beast within
And remembering to be kind

God is within you
The light never ends
The darkness is eternal
I think we'll make great friends

The mind is a machine
And this body is weak
Ticking out of time
Bow down to the meek

Oh, brave new world,
What the **** is this
Phenomenal metamorphosis?

I was cocooned by Kafka in Prague
Drank too much absinthe
Shocked by Tesla in Budapest
Shot by Serbian snipers in the rabbit hole
Saved by Jesus in Rome
Had a hell of a time with heathens on a party bus
Walked the rim of Vesuvius
Met a gypsy princess

Came home to mama's basement
Finished reading The Names by Don Delillo
Went back down to Florida
Where I lived with grandma in Spring Hill
Fell deep for a siren
An angel who saved my life
Had a nasty fever dream
Hell broke loose and I wrecked my car

Flew back to Los Angeles
Went to church and prayed
Stayed and worked for the family business
Explored Hubbard's cult, smoked *** and played

Too many sins to mention
I must confess the motherlode
No human here is much like God
How sad it is to know I'm in control

A butterfly pinned down in hell
You can reflect your face or soul

Almost died
Died and came back
Walked through personal hell
Still chained to the futon in daddy's dungeon
Going through the motions
In daddy's shop, oh well
Hell is not so bad
Buy another coconut water
From the 7/11 with the ****** address
6660 Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Too many fallen angels
Countless others invisible
Flying around between us
You've seen stories like this before

The chained up son remains

the best time in my life is when i sit alone in my room
playing guitar to the wall and singing in my untrained drone
in my flat american accent - the ringing of suburban middle-class
or reading obscure contemporary fiction novels and smoking ***

the best is when no one else is in the house
and it's just me enjoying this distant skin suit
existing in this world as an individual
just a brief vacation before returning to the eternal oneness

i exhale the sacred breath of life and begin to play guitar again
slowly learning how to play new songs and exploring rhythm
i'm the only person in my family who is interested in playing music
i taught myself guitar and am still struggling to understand scales

the best time in my life is when i sit in my room alone
thinking about beautiful women i wish i could know better
dreaming about how my life would be if i was cool
if i was interesting and able to break out of my shell

i imagine what it would be like if i had a social life
if i was interesting enough to develop a fascinating circle of friends
i've always wondered how people manage to break into social circles
navigating social climes is an art and one that i lack sensitivity in

the best time in my life is when i sit alone in my room
thinking deep about the universe and the reason for existence
letting out another breath then drawing in another
strumming repeatedly to bring ordered sound to the world

the best is when i have a great person on my mind
someone who inspires me to break out of myself
an ontological proxy by which i can compare myself
to see all how i am lacking and faulting

falling in love with a siren is not as foolish as it sounds
when you've been at sea awhile and having frantic dreams
of the ground opening below or drowning in a tidal wave
hurrying ever quicker to the grave

she will sing you anything to pull you under
she will sing with such vibrato that you'll bet
that you are the one who's meant to sail with her
you'll believe that you can love her without ever getting wet

she will wrap you in a song of sweet confusion
her voice will echo out for miles across the waves
but you'll swear it's only for the love of music
as you jump off into the water in a daze

falling in love with a siren is not as foolish as it seems
when you look deep within and realize you're never free
and say it's worth the joy and pain if you die trying
to get closer to the sound than to remain

she will sing you anything to pull you under her spell
she'll hum and croon the harmonies of the stars
as the sun ticks a quicker meter to reverse the ringing bell
as a curse becomes a blessing and a beauty now is recognized from afar

i lost everything and that’s when the war came
then they reinstated the draft and began mobilizing
with the hope of defeating tyranny once again
and preserving our freedom and securing our resources

a few years before the war i was in a tense mood
privileged to attend university and expand my mind into proto-intellectualism
reading Shakespeare and studying Postcolonial Literature and non-fiction writing
while stacking up a mountain of student loan debt and watching things unravel

i started smoking bales of **** with my medical marijuana prescription
and stuttered through a false start and a series of stalls
watching my life fall apart but enjoying the rollercoaster ride
and falling in love again with the night time like in my teenage years

the television started showing explosion after explosion on city streets
there were also talks about the weather changing wildly and some people were on edge
but then when the war came everything sort of became more focused yet fatalistic

i never thought i’d get drafted but when the Selective Service notice arrived i wasn’t going to fight it
i enlisted in the Navy the following week and once I stepped on that bus everything just sort of became automatic
as i was swallowed into the machine and molded into a soldier

the process of soldierization is a fascinating phenomenon
a desperate or controlling government picks through it’s citizens
finding those most suitable for combating its perceived enemies
and reprograms select individuals to become a part of the killing machine

i don’t know how they picked me
i figured i would’ve been viewed as a loose cannon
and been thrown into a file for the shredder
but despite my liberal dissident undertones i was dropped into the US armed forces

i was stationed on a missile cruiser for the first three years of the war against the Islamic State
i thought it would just be a lot of sitting around in my underwear
launching cruise missiles *****-nilly and having **** ***
but it was so much better than that

i was lucky to not be stationed in the Pacific when things really started heating up
but instead got to sit around in the Mediterranean sun
smoking Turkish cigarettes in the shade of the missile array
stoking the fires and setting the Middle East aflame

on the day Russia launched into the Baltic states i was on leave in Athens
it was still somewhat of a surprise although everyone was anticipating the change
i was summoned back aboard my ship the next day and converged like a phalanx
we waited off the coast of Troy then continued through the Bosporus

we fired a lot more missiles before they finally got a Mig through to sink us
put a nice little dent in the hull and we jumped off into the cool waters of the Black
we didn’t see any of our ships or helicopters after that
but we were near the coast and managed to get to land a few days after the emergency ration ran out


**originally posted on my blog at https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com/ on January 23, 2015

i was watching the television footage
of the calls for peace and unity
thinking of how far we’ve come but how lost people can be
before the sun glints off the marble steps and returns to the sea

some guys shot up a bunch of French cartoonists for showing the absurdity
of a middle age religious idol who insisted on martyrdom
because their father told them they’d get something good come kingdom come
and by another sad twist of irony made their victims martyrs too

i wonder why i feel the need to respond to what i hear
and if i’m too much of a news ******
taking in a steady stream of corporate malarkey
burning life away tuned out into the glare

i’m tired of trying to solve all of the problems in the world
i’d only like to sit and write today
and sit and sip my coffee in the sunshine
with no languages and nothing left to say

i was reading about government debt in the paper
and inequality, tensions overseas and Muslim ghettos
i don’t know all that much about it all, so i don’t know
but i let the words swirl around in my head then let it go

a European man decided he wanted more rocks and fruit
a century, or two, or three ago in his cold palace
so he strapped some trees together and set off to trade his ballast
for an empire of golden bodies in the sun

and for me it is the same as i sit here with my ball and chain
in the sunshine of the Americas in the modern age
soaking up stories, wasting time then turn the page
hold in another breath then let it out into the air

i’m tired of trying to solve all of the problems in the world
i think i might start making some instead
why not go out and light a torch and seize the day
a century of life or more or less and then you’re dead

i was thinking about going to see the warriors
i’d bring a camera and a notebook and an open mind
be love and ease the tensions of the ties that break and bind
disappear and skip off beyond the boundary line

i’d probably get captured and beheaded
but it would be fun to hang out for awhile
we could listen to good music and smoke cigarettes and smile
then walk out into the wilderness and look up at the moon

the militant awoke to a loudspeaker crackling
a voice in Arabic calling all to prayer
he dropped his rifle to his side and laid his body debonaire
southeast toward a warmer rising sun

i’m tired of trying to solve all of the problems in the world
i’d rather see them in another way
and lift a sword or pen and just start swinging
at the other strutting actors on the stage

i’ve been reading about the lifestyles of the ancients
how they built their homes from the soil
preserved the harvest from spoil
then scattered back into a grand decay

i was watching television
to see the call for peace and unity
and the victories of liberty
in the city on the Seine

i wrote a poem to free my thoughts
for our freedom and for those who died
so i can write and hold my pride
as a candle in the dark

i’m tired of trying to solve all of the problems in the world
to surrender my life to the master
who painted the sun and the stars and the earth
who drew my light in this image then shattered

**originally posted on my blog at https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com/ on January 12, 2015

i’m so ******* weird
from the time i could talk
i could never get the language just right
since the first time i walked
been stumbling and awkwardly fumbling along

a slow learner is what they called me
in the back offices of the training institutions
the doctors and teachers didn’t know what to do
but my experience was as true as any without solutions
wish i could find the best words to remind me of you

keep your eye on the ball
or sing the tune to your own songs
you never get the balance right or wrong
life’s as short as it is twice as long
driving around in a teenage mind looking for something to prove

we would draw pictures in art class in high school
most of the kids would paint flowers or attempt portraits
i would draw intense war scenes prophesizing the end to come
with underground bunkers and a militarized fortress
to harbor the last remaining scraps of humanity and my sanity

i’m so weird
they called it an autism spectrum disorder
but i wonder if i’m actually possessed by a demon
a love demon dancing out on the border
between insanity and the truth and the divine

i’m so ******* weird
i especially am slow
stumbling and tumbling toward the light
always right, always wrong, i know
since the day that i was born i’ve always been a slow learner and a loon

**originally posted on my blog at https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com/ on January 8, 2015

be prepared to be surprised

for what is yet to come

the newsprint headline said today

and don’t get carried away



be aware of the blank multitudinous hum of light

shining through everything then breaking off the mountain lake

and scattering to the nine corners of the cosmos

before settling in a distant body of cellulose



be prepared to be surprised

for what is yet to have been

and turn back the clocks as fast as you can

to arrive at the forgotten promised land



turn your candle to the infinite, infinitesimal everything-nothing

kick back on the patio chair on the back porch of your mind

and gaze hazily into the all-night diner of your life and soul

feel the touch of your hair and think back and then let it go



be prepared to be surprised

for what is yet to come

the cute blonde news anchor implores me

as i *** to her which sets me free



be prepared to be surprised

for what’s done and then undone

and pretend the moon is your only friend

then see the sun come rise again



be prepared to be surprised

for what is yet to come

or just do whatever

i try not to think too much about the silver sun


**originally posted on my blog at https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com/ on January 5, 2015

they say we’re headed for a worldwide drought

a dystopia of dissolution and decline

forests turn to desert and the streams are running dry

brings a shiny tear to the Indian’s eye



they say we might not make it to the future

we’ll be chewed up and spit out by ourselves

the oceans crest the shore and the flood is upon

oh man please can you tell me now how long



they say we probably don’t have much longer

they say we should start living for today

but that’s the same road which we took to get here

and at this point there’s nothing that i fear



they say we’re headed for a worldwide drought

fields turning to dust and cities filthy and roasting

chemicals and bacteria overwhelming shrinking waterways

famine, illness, war and malaise



they say we’re headed for a worldwide drought

but from where i’m sitting everything is fine

the sprinkler spits crystals on the morning lawn

they glisten in the sun then move on



**originally posted on my poetry blog at https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com/ on August 31, 2014

i used to have a potent mind
so full of ideas and thoughts
but then i started smoking ***
from time to time to time

i used to think i had a bright future
i went to school and college and got a degree
but all along the way i had a good, old friend
this scoundrels name is Demon Marijuana

my good friend Demon Marijuana loves me
she comes over and gets me high and then i come
to see the light for just a while longer
before fading back into a fetal curl

i used to think i’d go somewhere and conquer
i went to go and sit some place instead
and stuffed my pipe with grass and inhaled deeply
the aromatic smoke of my old friend

i used to have a potent mind
so full of big dreams and illusions
but then i started smoking ***
from time to time to time

my good friend Demon Marijuana loves me
she comes over and we get high and then she goes
leaving me in the dark a little longer
then fading back into the beginning gray


**originally posted on my blog https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com/ on August 20, 2014

the little ant hill is pooping out more piles of sand

piling little grains of metals high into the sky

they shine immaculately in the sunshine

as the rows of workers stream through the citys’ veins



they carry their plump, white babies

nurtured through larval state to maturity

the work continues tirelessly, ceaselessly

over green hills and through forests



over land and around the suburbs

families sit in their homes around television sets

the hills of little grains pile higher and higher

their antennae turn upward and sense the setting sun



night falls and the work is paused

the night beasts move around the piles of grain

the structure collapses and the residents scatter

rain begins and the flood is upon



the little ant hill is pooping out more piles of sand

piling little grains of metals high into the sky

shining brilliantly in the sun

the colony remains



**originally posted on my blog https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com/ on May 24, 2014

the river flows endlessly

through everything and all

toward eternity

and raining from creation



from beginning to end

in a linear frame

and a cyclical whole

the nurturing rain



stretching outward

and infinitesimally in

the center is the whole

the whole is the center



everything, nothing and all

winding aimlessly adrift

about a blackward void

impressed on the mind



raining from creation

the nurturing rain

returns to the sea

the river flows freely



**originally posted on my blog https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com/ on May 17, 2014

humanity will survive only if we are rooted closely to the earth

unbridled technology will lead to our demise

our tools come from nature but we cannot let our tools poison the soil

the neon screen that you are reading

like the pages of man’s great canon of books

grow from the ground

precious conductive earth metals

more valuable than gold mines

when those are gone

no more text messages or Twitter

no more blogging or wind turbines

we will return to primitive communication

land lines, letters and talking

i wonder how our grand kids will make the transition

from rare earth metals and petroleum

to whatever is next

will they discover a revolutionary pearl of knowledge

that we cannot yet imagine

or will they relearn forgotten technologies

and replant in their ancestors’ livelihoods

or will we leave the land sapped and useless



humanity will survive only if we are rooted closely to the earth

we grow from the ground

shine from the sun

blow in the wind

flow in the water


**originally posted to my blog https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com on 5/2/2014

in the moments when the words will not come

i sit and admire the wonder of emptiness

a mind with no need to express

a simple piece of unchallenged mystery



how could i want this to last?

no more pretty words would come again

i’ll just put down my pen and go to bed

and leave another would-be poem unsaid



why do i write?

because it might take off someday?

or help me see the light?

or prove that i am gay?



in the hours when the words won’t come

the silence and emptiness fill me

a mind at rest and dumb

the uncontested mystery


**originally posted to my blog https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com on 4/30/2014

i could use a little femme fire and brimstone in my life

a lady with a rough and cunning charm

who is at once victorious and defeated

with eyes for unkempt beauty and well-armed


she’d have to know at least the distinct flavors

found in music, art, writing and the world

not to sound too lofty or pretentious

i’m just looking for the right kind of girl


a girl who is a fully grown woman

is what i was meaning to say

i just want someone who is like me

kooky, crazy, thinking, cool and gay


i could use a little fire and brimstone in my life

something to get me up early

to sleep in late and stay up late

a guy-girl and a freak but not too girly


i could use a good woman

intelligent with a cultured charm

with glowing eyes for art and unkempt beauty

defeated, victorious and well-armed

**originally posted to my blog https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com on 4/29/2014

tarsons hog the blessed spine

of eon timbers taut and pine

eager neither comes to take

mount me in the Heaven lake



stick it in the pleasure pie

fill my box with tender eyes

neither can you come to find

nor fall out with a tampered sigh



neither can you find me

nor can i find thy

we clash our swords

then mount together

in the amber by-and-by



i used to have a handsome guy

musseled as the river bed

but he left like all the rest

for all i care he’s dead


**originally posted to my blog https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com on 4/28/2014

walking through the big flea market

off of highway 19 north of Tampa

looking for whatever and something

curious and kitsch or campy



merchants selling in the parking lot

used blenders and old cameras

burnt out or faulty devices

DVD cases and game cartridges



old rednecks shout out opinions

in a cacophony of drawled signifiers

representing visions of despotic rulers

reigning a tyranny of taxes and decline



old glass containers and windshields shine

scattering high afternoon sunlight in the Sunday sky

sitting and resting used and content waiting

waiting for the wear and reduction of time



the market continues into indoor aisles

criss-crossing within a ramshackle structure

plywood walls supporting sheet metal roofing

an aroma of every greasy food wafting into one



people wrapped in worn fashions

whites in Ts and denim

muslim women in headscarves

a black deputy strapped down in uniform



the deputy enforces commerce laws

around the alternative marketplace

a variety of commodities are still available

bongs and e-cigs and incense and **** ****



parakeets cry out down one aisle

a stack of blue aquariums drone a bubbling hum

the stench of cedar and rat **** and hamsters

reptiles basking in the arid glow of heat lamps



all is right in America’s America

the flea market is the floorboard of that promise

an opportunity for anyone to begin

or start again and over and over



a liberal conservatism can be guarded well

with rifles or tazers at bargain rates

a conservative liberalism is applied openly

in the atmosphere of everyone for anything and everything



the dream of the flea market

a black market and a carnival

all of America’s cheap art on display

its people swirled into one



equal in their struggles and desires

reaching for resources and derivatives

buying low and selling higher

stealing and selling short



walking through the big flea market

on a hot and cloudless Sunday afternoon

looking for whatever or something

it’s a fun thing to do


**originally posted to my blog https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com on 4/27/2014

the lizards sit cautiously in the sun

as I sit across the lanai grinding placidly

for a word to embellish my journal

they blink and wait for bugs



I sit and write, write and sit

winnowing down the day

wasting time on poetry

oh but what a way



a ******* born in Paradise

sits winding down the day

grinding out more poetry

blinking life away



the lizards sit cautiously

warming in the sun

I sit and write in Paradise

and wait for night to come



I write and sit, sit and write

winding down the day

wasting time on poetry

oh but what a way


**originally posted to my blog https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com on 4/26/2014

the ship bellows loudly against the crush of the sea

creaking and sloshing against the hull

as i try to sleep in my bunk

or stand watch out across the darkened hue of the watery void



as each day breaks i am shifted, slowly, to another realm

sea birds squawk and cry high above the mast

the water is greener and horizon begins to reveal vague definition

as land becomes less distant and is gradually upon



with shaky legs i am reawakened to the sounds of the shore

sand under my toes and the rushing of water against land

strange birds sing at the tree line and palm fronds rustle against the sky

late sunshine glows through the pink haze of evening and the orange ball fades


**originally posted to my blog https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com on 4/25/2014

greed is the root of all evil

it blurs men’s vision

binds women

guides the lives of everyone



money rules the world

it makes ****** of us all

rots with distinction

any who follow its path



it determines our destiny

even for those who turn away

all roads lead to savings and loans

all roads lead to Rome



it blurs men’s vision

rots with distinction

the root of all evil

the essence of more


**originally posted to my blog https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com on 4/24/2014

mr bad man

mr bad man can

come sliding on his belly through the market



mr bad man

mr bad man knows well

loading up the freight train down to hell



mr bad man

mr bad man can

blow around like a plastic shopping bag

lifted and tumbled carelessly



mr bad man is

is and is and is and is and is


**originally posted to my blog https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com on 4/24/2014

eat the grapes i have placed on the tin tray

come sit beneath the palms with me

and entreat me to a verse of metered thoughts

with that gravelly voice of yours



i moved to south India escaping the law

with the colonial police on my case

but sailed Scot free

now i’m shrouded by a tropical mist

which hangs low in the fruit grove

where i pick tangy, red fruit from the leafy eaves

and break the skin with my teeth

as i tiptoe gingerly

around cobra and poison plants

barefoot through the garden



take the fruit from the tree

pass one to me


**originally posted to my blog https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com on 4/24/2014