I am Ra the sun god
I am Jesus Christ
No I'm the Second Coming
I'm one with the light

I had a weird month last month
Caught in a spiritual war
Battles with God and Satan
But life's less of a bore

The mind is a machine
And the body is a phenomenal device
We tick to the meter of the heart
Every day we pay the price

I tried to reinvent the wheel
spinning senselessly with the stars
I was terrified of entropy and unwinding
Lit a fire and ended up behind bars

My only resolution is to keep learning
Expand my feeble mind
While weakening the beast within
And remembering to be kind

God is within you
The light never ends
The darkness is eternal
I think we'll make great friends

The mind is a machine
And this body is weak
Ticking out of time
Bow down to the meek

Oh, brave new world,
What the **** is this
Phenomenal metamorphosis?

I was cocooned by Kafka in Prague
Drank too much absinthe
Shocked by Tesla in Budapest
Shot by Serbian snipers in the rabbit hole
Saved by Jesus in Rome
Had a hell of a time with heathens on a party bus
Walked the rim of Vesuvius
Met a gypsy princess

Came home to mama's basement
Finished reading The Names by Don Delillo
Went back down to Florida
Where I lived with grandma in Spring Hill
Fell deep for a siren
An angel who saved my life
Had a nasty fever dream
Hell broke loose and I wrecked my car

Flew back to Los Angeles
Went to church and prayed
Stayed and worked for the family business
Explored Hubbard's cult, smoked *** and played

Too many sins to mention
I must confess the motherlode
No human here is much like God
How sad it is to know I'm in control

A butterfly pinned down in hell
You can reflect your face or soul

Almost died
Died and came back
Walked through personal hell
Still chained to the futon in daddy's dungeon
Going through the motions
In daddy's shop, oh well
Hell is not so bad
Buy another coconut water
From the 7/11 with the ****** address
6660 Sunset Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Too many fallen angels
Countless others invisible
Flying around between us
You've seen stories like this before

The chained up son remains

the best time in my life is when i sit alone in my room
playing guitar to the wall and singing in my untrained drone
in my flat american accent - the ringing of suburban middle-class
or reading obscure contemporary fiction novels and smoking ***

the best is when no one else is in the house
and it's just me enjoying this distant skin suit
existing in this world as an individual
just a brief vacation before returning to the eternal oneness

i exhale the sacred breath of life and begin to play guitar again
slowly learning how to play new songs and exploring rhythm
i'm the only person in my family who is interested in playing music
i taught myself guitar and am still struggling to understand scales

the best time in my life is when i sit in my room alone
thinking about beautiful women i wish i could know better
dreaming about how my life would be if i was cool
if i was interesting and able to break out of my shell

i imagine what it would be like if i had a social life
if i was interesting enough to develop a fascinating circle of friends
i've always wondered how people manage to break into social circles
navigating social climes is an art and one that i lack sensitivity in

the best time in my life is when i sit alone in my room
thinking deep about the universe and the reason for existence
letting out another breath then drawing in another
strumming repeatedly to bring ordered sound to the world

the best is when i have a great person on my mind
someone who inspires me to break out of myself
an ontological proxy by which i can compare myself
to see all how i am lacking and faulting

falling in love with a siren is not as foolish as it sounds
when you've been at sea awhile and having frantic dreams
of the ground opening below or drowning in a tidal wave
hurrying ever quicker to the grave

she will sing you anything to pull you under
she will sing with such vibrato that you'll bet
that you are the one who's meant to sail with her
you'll believe that you can love her without ever getting wet

she will wrap you in a song of sweet confusion
her voice will echo out for miles across the waves
but you'll swear it's only for the love of music
as you jump off into the water in a daze

falling in love with a siren is not as foolish as it seems
when you look deep within and realize you're never free
and say it's worth the joy and pain if you die trying
to get closer to the sound than to remain

she will sing you anything to pull you under her spell
she'll hum and croon the harmonies of the stars
as the sun ticks a quicker meter to reverse the ringing bell
as a curse becomes a blessing and a beauty now is recognized from afar

i lost everything and that’s when the war came
then they reinstated the draft and began mobilizing
with the hope of defeating tyranny once again
and preserving our freedom and securing our resources

a few years before the war i was in a tense mood
privileged to attend university and expand my mind into proto-intellectualism
reading Shakespeare and studying Postcolonial Literature and non-fiction writing
while stacking up a mountain of student loan debt and watching things unravel

i started smoking bales of **** with my medical marijuana prescription
and stuttered through a false start and a series of stalls
watching my life fall apart but enjoying the rollercoaster ride
and falling in love again with the night time like in my teenage years

the television started showing explosion after explosion on city streets
there were also talks about the weather changing wildly and some people were on edge
but then when the war came everything sort of became more focused yet fatalistic

i never thought i’d get drafted but when the Selective Service notice arrived i wasn’t going to fight it
i enlisted in the Navy the following week and once I stepped on that bus everything just sort of became automatic
as i was swallowed into the machine and molded into a soldier

the process of soldierization is a fascinating phenomenon
a desperate or controlling government picks through it’s citizens
finding those most suitable for combating its perceived enemies
and reprograms select individuals to become a part of the killing machine

i don’t know how they picked me
i figured i would’ve been viewed as a loose cannon
and been thrown into a file for the shredder
but despite my liberal dissident undertones i was dropped into the US armed forces

i was stationed on a missile cruiser for the first three years of the war against the Islamic State
i thought it would just be a lot of sitting around in my underwear
launching cruise missiles *****-nilly and having **** ***
but it was so much better than that

i was lucky to not be stationed in the Pacific when things really started heating up
but instead got to sit around in the Mediterranean sun
smoking Turkish cigarettes in the shade of the missile array
stoking the fires and setting the Middle East aflame

on the day Russia launched into the Baltic states i was on leave in Athens
it was still somewhat of a surprise although everyone was anticipating the change
i was summoned back aboard my ship the next day and converged like a phalanx
we waited off the coast of Troy then continued through the Bosporus

we fired a lot more missiles before they finally got a Mig through to sink us
put a nice little dent in the hull and we jumped off into the cool waters of the Black
we didn’t see any of our ships or helicopters after that
but we were near the coast and managed to get to land a few days after the emergency ration ran out


**originally posted on my blog at https://sublimeobscenities.wordpress.com/ on January 23, 2015