Micay K: Poems

_

Micay K Jul 2014

_

I could be happy but that doesn't mean I don't miss you whenever the sun goes down and every other second of every day
I could be content with my life but that doesn't mean I don't yearn for the warmth of your body next to mine when I lay in bed at night.
I could be smiling but that doesn't mean I don't feel the pain of losing you like a serrated knife through my heart whenever you cross through my mind...
which is all the time.

Before and After

Micay K Jan 2015

Before and After

If you were to ask me how I know I love him, I’ll reply with a simple ‘cause I do.’ And if you think thats cliche, I’ll tell you how its impossible to describe the feeling of pure ecstasy I get at just the thought of him, how my heart screams for him when he’s gone, that the feeling of his lips pulling into a smile in sync with mine while we kiss still sends butterflies through my stomach, how just the thought of losing him is the worst pain my heart has ever felt. I’ll tell you how his smile is more beautiful then a sunrise and how his touch still sends shivers down my spine. I’ll tell you how he truly is the most amazing site for me to see and how he makes me feel more than I ever imagined I could. I’ll tell you that I know I love him as well as I know I am me…because nothing else in the world would make sense if my love for him was not true.

If you were to ask me how I know it's over, I'll tell you "cause I do." And if you think that's not a good answer, I'll tell you how every time I look into his eyes I see the same emptiness I saw the night he looked straight into mine and lied. I'll tell you how it's impossible to describe the void feeling I have when I think of him, how my heart screams for me to let him go, that the feeling of his lips on mine send ripples through my stomach. I'll tell you how my heart screams for who he used to be, or who I thought he was. I'd tell you how his smile makes me cringe because I know behind it is a lie. I'll tell you how I truly can not look at him anymore without thinking of her. And her. And her. And her. I'll tell you that I know I am done as well as I know I am me. Because with him, I no longer am me.

Disappointment

Micay K Nov 2014

Disappointment

If I could put my thoughts into words,
they would look something like
a stormy night.

Free thoughts

Micay K Jun 2014

Free thoughts

The day passed on and I ran errands here and there.
Most people would want some time to relax, some time to sit and just stare.
But I try to keep myself busy,
Gotta keep you off my mind, cuz I know later tonight the thoughts of you will keep me up.
The post office, the doctors and the grocery store...
Although I try to keep myself busy you're constantly on my mind.
Everywhere I look something reminds me of you.
And now I'm in the shower and as the water pours down my body,
Tears form in my eyes.
All the memories come flooding back and it hurts me so bad inside.
I wish so much that we could still have what we used to have.
For the way you once looked at me to return.
I wish to see the smile on your face and know I put it there,
To hear you laugh with me without a care.
Where did I go wrong? I always wonder.
All I ever did was care.
Was I not enough? Did you really love me? Did you care?
The nights are even worse.
I lay there awake and thinking about you and wishing we could be.
Dreams don't bring counsel either,
Cause you're always there.
I fear I'll never be over you...
It makes me scared.

I love you.

Micay K Jan 2015

I love you.

If I could put my feelings for you into words they would flow beautifully from page to page and sound something like the perfect soliloquy,
but since I'm no good with words I'll simply leave you with this...
Thank you for being mine,
I beg of you to never leave my side.

It's love.

Micay K Dec 2014

It's love.

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder
and I'm beginning to understand,
every second without you I'm wishing you were here holding my hand.

And I can still feel the warmth of where you lay in my bed,
I still here voice saying "I love you" in my head...
I'm missing you like crazy.

I'm counting down the days til you return,
but it feels like infinity and it makes my heart burn.

I miss your touch, your smell, your smile, your laugh
and I can not wait for the time to pass.

I still feel your arms around my waist
and I miss your kisses on my face,
I can't wait for you to come home.

They say distance makes the heart grow fonder
and I'm beginning to fathom
because this distance hurts more than I could ever imagine.

Something About Feelings

Micay K Jun 2014

Something About Feelings

It creeps up inside you without a warning.
One minute I'm sitting there looking at you while we laugh.
Then it hits me,
Like a wave...
A wave of emotion.
I try to suppress it but it won't go away.
For days I question it.
I don't want to feel this way.
It needs to go away.
It'll only hurt.
Only make things worse.
I debate over and over if I should act on it...
Tell you how I feel.
Finally I gain the courage I need.
And I was right.
It only hurts.
Only makes things worse.
Something about feelings....
*****.

Untitled

Micay K May 2014

Untitled

my mind
always filled with memories
and thoughts
of you.
for awhile now
i’ve been wondering how to say it all.
every emotion
linked to the thoughts of you
that flow through my cerebrum.
thoughts, memories
leading to emotion
that make my pulse quicken.
my heart beating fast
then it seems to stop.
like a robot
i feel
i have to manually breathe.
you do this to me...
i long to
feel, touch
taste
explore
your body again.
i yearn to
know your soul
from the inside out
as i once did.
i crave
to connect with you
as done in the past.
one day
i hope
we will
be one
again.
- mk

Untitled

Micay K May 2014

Untitled

I am fragile and broken and selfish and lost.
I loved you with my fragile, broken, selfish heart,
and I am still lost.
You are passionate and fragile and selfless and lost.
You loved me passionately with your fragile and selfless heart,
and you are still lost.
I cared for you with every bone in my body,
every inch of my soul.
But I broke your heart cause I felt I had to let you go.
Cause you loved me so selflessly and I was so selfish...
and I loved you so wrong...
and it hurts me so bad.
I could never love you so chivalrously, as you loved me.
I’ll continue to be lost,
I’m sure you will too,
until one day I hope my heart will find the right way to love you.
Then we will no long be lost,
together we will find
everything we searched for throughout our lives.
- mk

Untitled

Micay K Nov 2014

Untitled

Our memories go on forever.
I look back a few years and you were there.
I look by my side and you're still here.
you've grown on me through out the years
and now the thought of ever losing you
is like the pain of a serrated knife through my heart
like gasping for breath six feet under.....
there was a moment I knew
I asked "could you tie my shoe?"
and as you did I looked right at you....
and in that moment I knew....
I knew.
now you're ready to leave
but what could I do?
it's selfish to ask you stay
for my sake.
can we pause this moment?
can you stay?
I spend the hours without you wondering how I can make you change your mind
i never want you to go
baby, you're mine....

Untitled

Micay K May 2014

Untitled

why is it
that
we grow up
learning
what they want us to learn.
we are to conform.
why is it
that
we grow up
thinking
what they want us to think.
we are to not ask questions.
why is it
that
we grow up
knowing
what they want us to know.
we are to accept this.
without questioning
why we must learn this
why we must think this
why we must know this.
school.
religion.
work.
tv.
advertisments.
internet.
food.
consumer products.
we are all brainwashed
to do what they want us to do
to act how they want us to act
to say what they want us to say
to know what they want us to know
to think what they want us to think
to believe what they want us to believe
we need to learn how to be free
to believe what we want to believe
to think what we want to think
to know what we want to know
to say what we want to say
to act how we want to act
to do what we want to do
to be us.
be you.
- mk

Untitled

Micay K May 2014

Untitled

I long to
see the sun rises,
the gulls flying,
hear the whispers of the wind.
I long to
see the flowers bloom,
hear the birds chirping,
watch the waves as they come in.
I long to
breathe the air of the cold February afternoon,
watch the snow fall on the trees,
feel the stillness of winter.
I don’t long to live
for money
or success
or greed.
I long to live
to appreciate the beauty
of the world,
of nature,
of life...
how it should be.
- mk

You.

Micay K Jun 2014

You.

You say my name and it sounds the way a million rainbows would look.
Your smile, beautiful like the sunrise on a Sunday morning, leaves me radiating.
Your laugh resembles the song of a Nightengale and your hands fall over me feeling of ecstasy.
Your kisses, like waves over my body make me beg for more.
I crave your touch and yearn for your love.

— The End —