I'm staring to a wet footprint
At least that's what I think it is
I can't really tell
My vision is too blurring
My eyes are too dry
Because the last time I let go
Seems so long ago
But I'm determined not to do it again
Because
According to your institution
I'm not worthy of release
And all the eyes in this room
Are focused elsewhere
So why do I feel like I'm being watched
And why do I feel as if no one cares
And I'm wondering if I care
If I think the next year is worth this strain
And I'm beginning to be certain it isn't.

Words don't carry much weight
When they spring from hallow lips
Let alone
A hallow heart
Where not even your blood cells will enter
For fear of being trapped
In that black hole forever
Just like me
I have been pulled into your nothingness
And I cannot escape the grasp
Of your need to be alone
And my need to be needed
You made me feel that way
Until you made me feel like
The raindrops that made lines on my skin
Were useless and unimportant
Compared to the ink dripping from your vanes
Because you always were a poet
You had the perfect words
For the perfect times
To make perfect moments
But only when you spelled it out for me
Your voice never delivered the same grace
As your tire tracks fade
So will my need to keep them there
Just because you've been somewhere
Doesn't mean you'll return
And holding onto indents in the snow
Is an arbitrary action
That I will no longer take part in
The only things I will hold onto
Are the tree branches that carried me
Long before you came around
And tried to take their spot
But you're just not strong enough to beat my oak tree
And it's a shame
Because all this time
All I've wanted to do is trust you
But your breath speaks lowder than your words
And it tells me the past and future
Both of which scare me
And I'll watch the fog roll in
And wonder if the grass ever gets frightened in the dark
Because I know I do
Colored paper and tea leaves won't keep me safe
Only you can do that
So since safely isn't an option
I will have to fight
But do me a favor
Don't trust in the rose petals on your doorstep
Fear them

The heaviness of my eyes reminds me
Why I don't write your name anymore
There is too much time wasted on someone
Who walks through my life
And leaves all their **** for me to clean up
Leaves their life for me to fix
And if you really cared about me
You wouldn't blatantly disregard everything I say
I'm attempting to string pretty word together
To describe how I felt in those moments
But all I want to say is
You're a parasitic *******
You're a egotistical self pitying child
You're a reliable day ruiner
You're unapologetic in the worst way possible
And I have no more pretty words for you
Congratulations
You burned me out
You took the last shred of hope I had for you
And threw it way
Then washed it down with that first shot
I no longer believe you will be ok
I don't think you will ever be ok
And I just have one more thing to say about you...
You're a ****.

I had never felt closer to a person
Than in that moment
And now we were never farther
And I won't be the one to build the next bridge
Just to see you burn it
I thought you would whisper to me
The secrets of the universe
Little did I know
That everything you had said was falsified
And unimportant
I am not some crash test dummy
You can practice your feelings on
To see which ones break me
Just so you can sweet talk your way through
Life
Eventhough I know you've never been too good with words
The most profound thing about you
Is that you can make people believe you
You can make me believe you
When I have witnessed your manipulation
Time and time again
But I always thought I was different
That must be the most idiotic thing I have ever done
Believe in you
Believe in your words
The ones that used to create clouds for me to live in
I could have lived forever in those words
But just like my smile
They pass
And they won't return
They are waved away into nothingness
And I have to watch as my life fades with them
And I could create a million clouds
And they would still never be enough
I have no new love for you
Just the same feeling of dread
Everytime you make a wrong turn
So basically that feeling never goes away
But
For your sake
I hope you find a way to keep it there
Because you're running out of time
And I'm running out of capacity
And you are taking up too much room
Not in my heart but in my brain
And that's a place I never wanted you