Mia Eugenia

Mia Eugenia Dec 2013

I'm Just Waiting For The Next Door To Open

I've been trying to brainstorm the perfect words
To describe the feeling of emptiness and fulfillment
And all the love I feel in my heart
For the nights gone by and the faces that come and go
But live forever in the hearts of the people
We shared that darkness with
That silence
Knowing that the next few seconds
We what we make them and nothing more
That the next few hours were completely in our hands
And we could make of it what we wanted to
The only time we have control over our actions
And knowing that this time
This night
This breath
Is for us
Us alone
The breaths I take now are not nearly as significant
As the ones taken behind the red curtains
So silent
For fear of ruining the serenity of knowing that
You have the world in the palm of your hand
But only that everything is out of your hands
All at the same time
And I will never have that embrace again
I will never be with those people
In the way that I was
Again
But I'm okay with that
Because moments aren't meant to linger
And no matter how hard we hold on
They will always slip through our fingers
But that's the way it should be
Things are ruined when left in the sun too long
There are things down the road
I can just make them out
But I will never forget the hands
That helped me lift my head
To see those shapes before me.

Mia Eugenia Dec 2013

You Punch Me I'll Punch You

What if the world didn't circle you?
What if, just maybe
There were greater forces moving us along?
We are just atoms
Held together by paper cuts and splinters
That we were too afraid to tell our mom about.
We are the same
So don't pretend like anything you do
Is superior to everything I do
Because
Unlike you
I do not wallow in misfortune
Or blame anyone else for my spilled milk
And these will always be my problems
That you were too busy
To care about
Because you are chasing a future
That you don't want.
We are just people
And the tape you used to showcase your pride
Doesn't make you more
It just makes you a sad little man
With a handful of opportunities
When all you can do is
Steal those chances from others
Even though no one has threatened to take yours
And you believe that no one could
But the day will come when you will fall
And someone will steal one of those opportunities
You thought you had a lifetime to achieve
And I will be there to watch
And catch
And stabilize
And throw my darts at the people who thought they could hurt you
Because I want you to know
That I am there for you
Even when it's not a full circle

Mia Eugenia Dec 2013

I Can't Blame You For Not Knowing, You Just Never Asked

I'm throwing my life away
But I can't tell if I'm the only one who doesn't care
Or the only one who does
And maybe killing myself would be more proficient
Than this torment I put myself through
But where would be the fun in that?
I am trying to find meaning in your words
Which used to be so easy for me
But all I can find is white noise
Because it seems like nothing we say
Is important anymore.
I choose my letters too carefully
To hide what I feel
And I seek for someone who knows
When I'm hiding my heart
I thought that could be you
I guess we all lie sometimes.

Mia Eugenia Dec 2013

I Don't Want Your Bouquet

The flowers are dead.
The leaves aren't crunchy anymore
They no longer make familiar sounds
When I step on them
Making my way through a crowd of people who never really knew me
The leaves are too wet from the snow to be any help to me.
And the frost will come and go
Leaving nothing but water in it's place.
The grass will grow back in some places
But others will stay dirt
not being able to find the strength to go through the cycle again.
And the birds will return to sing a joyful song
To those who will listen
But I will not
Because I know they will be gone in a matter of months
And why find happiness in things that leave you?
And soon after they leave everything else will follow
And the flowers will be dead.

Mia Eugenia Dec 2013

Typical Complaints From A Vacant Mind

Why cant the world see what I see in myself
The age old question that
No matter how hard you try to fake it
You have asked yourself
Every time the leaves started changing without you
And before you know it the snow is falling
But no friends are calling "you-who"
Outside your window
Because they never quite paid attention
To which one was mine
And social interactions were never my thing
I always do the wrong thing
And I wish I could say
"With you it didn't matter
Because you always made me feel normal
And loved"
But that would be a lie
And no one does that anymore
So why start now
Why fluff up your ego
And tell you what you want to hear
So you can use it as a boost
In other endeavors
That have never included me
I'm the sign on the highway
Covered with black cloth
Because the sign wasn't useful anymore
But no one cared enough to take it down

Mia Eugenia Nov 2013

When All That Is Left Is Ash

There will come a time when you can't respond to your name
And your children will cry, you won't feel the same
But no tears will ever roll down your cheek
And you don't remember the words you desperately wanted to speak
And you told your daughter "Life will go on"
But she is beginning to realize it's the end of her song
And she is pleading and crying not to reach that last chord
She'll soon realize love is something you can't afford
Because the days dwindle down and then there are none
And you can't go back to change all the things that you've done
All the people you hurt and all the lives you have ruined
All to be the one who said that you've done it
And that's your reason for most of your actions
All you do is clutter my life and and cause a distraction
I circle the same question but I seem to be stopped
On the ways you flipped your hair and your personality swap
But I have to admit after all this time
I have to admit that you'll never be mine

Mia Eugenia Nov 2013

Untitled

I try to act like what you say doesn't effect
Who I am or what I do
But it does