Mia Eugenia

Mia Eugenia Nov 2013

A Medley Of Thoughts That Will Never Make Sense To Anyone But You

Clarity
It's something I lack
Because the words you placed in my palm
Are bleeding through my paper thin skin
And becoming unbearable to think about
Because I know they weren't meant for me
I'm the last one picked in dodge-ball
I'm the last one picked at heart
And I will always be a safety to people like you
Who live their life trying to impress people
Who don't matter
Because they will never care about you
And I will never lie to you
So I will never tell you that I'm fine
I just wont offer the information
You are too busy to care about
I'll give it to the people who pray
Because maybe they will be able to do something
My feeble heart could never accomplish
No matter how hard I held onto the fall leaves
That fell into my hands
As I walked down the dirt roads
that made up your last night at home
And we watched the sunset at midnight
All I wanted to do was set the world on fire
Just to see people feel the heat again
Feel something again
We get so caught up in what we can't change
Why not focus on the things you wouldn't want to change
Like the sound of waking up to light rain
Or the smell of grass in late July
Roses never bloom when they are told
But while they might not always have their beauty
They always have their thorns
And I wish i had to the strength of a rose
I wish that every time you came near me you would feel pain
But instead I welcome you in
Because there is nothing you could do
That would make me feel like
You aren't good enough for love
So until you find someone to love you
I will just keep doing it
Because I know she is out there
And I know she'd want you to be loved
So I will
I will love you for the woman I have not met
For the woman who will take you away from me

Mia Eugenia Nov 2013

Selling My Past For A Better Future

I inflict my own pain
So you can't hurt me
You can't torment me more
Than the snow
That always remembers my footprints
And where they took me
And though I can always hear the wind
It never seems to reach my skin
And I prefer red leaves to green
Because they appear to be on fire
And all I want is my life to
Be
On
Fire
And have flames run through my vanes
And engrave itself on the back of my neck
To represent the childhood house
That might as well be ash
Because there is nothing left worth saving

Mia Eugenia Nov 2013

I Stood Out In The Cold For You And You Drove Away

Consideration never ran through your blood stream
Instead you tattooed the seven deadly sins on the inside of your vanes
And stamped approval around the outside
You whispered sweet nothings onto your flesh
And sewed the thought that you belong into every stitch you ever got
But these are just blemishes you would rather show the world
Than let go of the past
Even though the people from your past aren't calling anymore
I'm the only one breaking down your door
To make sure you're still alive
Two sided or one sided
My friendships take many shapes
But no friendship has ever changed shaped as rapidly
As you have taught me to get used to
Our shape changes as often as our hair
As often as your mind
Because you never pick the right people
To give all your eggs to
Somehow you put them all in the wrong basket
The basket of someone who will never accept you
And you will never be satisfied with
Prolonged bus rides don't make friendships
And moving on doesn't excuse a dead battery
What has happened in your life due to reckless behavior
Does not excuse more reckless behavior
And I am the only one brave enough to tell you that
Doesn't that mean something?

Mia Eugenia Oct 2013

Find A Penny Pick It Up All Day Long You'll Have Good Luck

Your help is just about as useful as the quarters left under my pillow
In place of the bones I lost transitioning between childhood
And whatever stage I am in now
Because it isn't adulthood
It is a jumbled up mess of unwashed clothes and broken hair elastics
But mostly tears
And I have never viewed tears as a weakness
Always a strength
Because strong people feel emotion
Where weak people lack it
But even though my pillow knows my strength has no bounds
The world will never see power escape these eyes.
You'll never see the jeans laying on the floor around my room
And though I may still find coins behind my bed
They wont pay for the future they represent
And somewhere along the line
I went from making money from lost teeth
To spending money to get rid for them.
Your prayers are welcome but I don't know how much they will do
Because every prayer I ever made
Remains unanswered

Mia Eugenia Oct 2013

Five By Two Room And I Cant See The Person Sitting Next To Me, I'm Just Happy It's Not You

I spend my weekends in the clouds
A place I never thought you would return to
And the words you said
To the long-haired boys
Still replay themselves in my head
Making me more annoyed every time
Maybe it was my brain making things worse than they were
Or maybe its the fact that
Every time you replay a memory
You change it
Maybe you weren't as insufferable as i believe
Maybe You were just trying to hard
And maybe it was the fact that your bird flew back to you
If only for a night
And when we were alone you treated me like i mattered again
So maybe you just care who sees you give compassion
Because the second your little bird came flying in
She was the only thing that mattered
Again
But that doesn't surprise me
What does is that I didn't care
I didn't care when you didn't pay attention
I didn't care that people were talking about you
And I didn't try to defend you
I've done enough of that
It's time for you to grow up
Without my help
Whatever you want the world to think of you
Is fine with me
And i wont try to tell people differently
And i wont get them to change their minds
Just like how i wont try to help you live your life
Anymore
Because
Too bad for you
I can move on
And you don't even know it
I didn't even know it until the night after
But you don't have me as you back up plan anymore
And I will sit in this five by two room
And do all the things that you cant
Do all the things that should keep you away from me
Because
While you are great when you spell out your words
Face to face may not be your thing

Mia Eugenia Oct 2013

Don Quixote

I want to see stars
And I don't mean the twinkle lights that are hung up outside my window at night
I want to see the sky curve
Because once you get a little taste of the Milky Way
City lights don't add to the skyline
They just obscure the beauty
That has already died
Lightyears away from where we are standing
I want grass in my hair and sand in my toes
And I want limestone walk ways
That lead me from place to place
Like my own personal yellow brick road
Chasing windmills isn't enough for me anymore.

Mia Eugenia Oct 2013

There Are Giants In The Sky

Stomping and strumming over my head
And the charred up remains of songs
I burned in last years fire echo above me
And the worst part is i can't turn you to ash like the rest
But I cant ignore the thumping
As it shakes my house
And makes the walls close in
And the windows darken
And the wallpaper turn itself into unfamiliar shapes
That climb of the wall
Because a little glue isn't enough to hold the demons in place.
These floors aren't thick enough
And these walls not strong enough to endure your stomping
Just because you have he biggest feet
Doesn't mean you need to makes the world think you are a giant
Save you feet for a different house
And save your strums for a different set of ears
That might enjoy what you have to say.