This is the story of a girl

A girl who has expectations that even she can't reach.
A girl who feels more pressure then she probably should.
A girl who fights the tears every day,
Hating to show a weakness.
A girl who comforts her friends,
But never asks for comfort herself.

This girl goes everyday of her life
With a boiling anger inside of her.
Faster and faster until it explodes,
A yelling match happening with anyone who happens to be in her path.
Her tears flow silently as the loneliness consumes her,
Overflowing in the privacy of her room on bad days.

This is the story of a girl.

A girl who tries to stay strong everyday of her life,
Keeping on laughing and smiling
Her acting skills put to the test.
No one notices.
Not one.
No one.

This is the story of a girl.
And this is where it ends.

When I started up, I had no arms
When I woke up, my thoughts had formed
I tried to sleep, but whispers were bold
I tried to sing, but my lips were cold

Levers pulled and starter guns
Fired
Severed from the earth and
Retired

Though I was young, you said I was smart
Irony stung, for fool is my art
I try to **** your dreams in my words
I try to fake a burn in your fur

Never scream and never try
To laugh
I only see you when you split
In half
Levers pulled and starter guns
Fired
Severed from the earth and
Retired

Scream for me, would you please just
Inscribe my tombstone for me?
Like stories of your fetus
You lay your eyes upon me
My chest splits open and my
Legs come back to me slowly
I see you from the inside
And you compress my body
Lay me!

Lay me!
Lay me!
Lay me!

When you were a little girl, did you think love was an easy concept to grasp? Didn't it make you laugh the way that everyone said,
"It's undefinable, it's complicated, it's the root of so much pain"?
When I was a young boy, I used to sift through sand looking for the broken beer bottles
Because I wanted to try and find beauty in something horrible.

So I have done for years.
I've lied, cheated, stolen... sometimes from my own family members.
I used to assume I could pop into your life any time
Like a bad father
And you'd come running into my arms.
Just like a bad father.

When I left you standing at the altar, dressed like June Carter
I remember wishing I could have altered my timeline
So I could be Johnny for real, and we could make it big
People could start writing our names on jail cell walls
"R.I.P. Alex and Sidney"

These are the days where I scatter papers around my room
Pinholes in the carpet from relight after relight
Trying to find the right words to say
To convince you that I'm not the same as I used to be.
I've seen my own eyes gazing at me without a mirror
I've seen galaxies screaming at me and exploding

You pull my heart-strings.
You separate my anxieties.
You are the little bit of crazy within me
And when I let it out it's all sadness and wine
But when you let go, you're just a sugar plum fairy.
You dance and you sing and you laugh like I were a comedian.

Oh, that's right, I am a comedian.

Well, if my job is to make people laugh
Then my last laugh would be you.
This is a bad time, I know
But I still would do anything to rewrite our history.

I can wait a year if you want to run your course
Maybe you'll stay in our little town.

But this poem is to tell you
Your clothes should be in my laundry.