it is exactly 2 months and 3 days since you left the world and you would think that in such a small amount of time that the ones that were close to you would remember your scent, the way you dressed and the way you had your hair but they didn't. i could tell you all of the things that i have mentioned one by one.

Your hair, it was blonde and never set right when it was cut, your golden locks which came down past your eyes, well let me tell you something, i thought they were beautiful and as i saw you lying there-lifeless with no movement at all, well a thousand memories came rushing by i remember the time, we lay in bed, not doing much, but as my hand ruffled through those locks, well i knew that you, yes you, were the one for me. i remember our first dance at the summer ball, you held my waist so delicately and i held your neck and as your locks touched my pale hands, well darling it sent shivers down my spine and last but not least, i remember the day you left, i tickled your hair, putting it in place-which may i add was completely pointless because as you stepped out the door, i saw it, i saw the rain come pouring down. i never stopped you to tell you that i loved you and darling theres not a moment in time that i regret that decision.

Your scent, well my dear it was like cigarettes, it didn't appeal to everyone but to me it was the most perfect cologne in the world, many people told me to stay away from you but i craved that smell, it was like it gave me the strength to carry on when the world was in darkness. i remember your scent on that day, the day when i lost the most precious thing in the world-you, it was that same cologne and as i took a breath and the tears fell effortlessly off my face, well i inhaled that smell like it was the last time i would ever smell it. One day i walked past a man in the street, i thought it was you, there it was that cologne and in that moment, i suddenly thought maybe you weren't gone and maybe in a few hours time you would walk through the door like you normally did-but you didn't.

I miss the way you dressed, how you didn't care what you looked like as long as it pleased me and i remember the memories which i will forever keep in my mind, of that saturday night, when i caught you in a non matching tracksuit and darling, you still looked handsome, i wish that i could tell you now, just how beautiful you were because you never believed it and thats why you're gone now.

its shiny
its rusty
its the first thing
she grabbed
when she felt pain within
because its better
to match the way she felt
on the inside
to how she looked on the outside
and who could forget
that feeling
of the silver blade
sliding down her arm
and the crimson red blood weeping from her cuts
as she becomes alive again
as the feeling from the blade
sent electricity down her spine.

you broke every bone
inside of me
you crushed me
when you told me
you didn't want us anymore
you sent a million daggers through my heart
and pierced every major vein

but i still want you
i want you so bad.

should i tell you
what my love for you means
its like
ice cream
on a hot summers day
welcoming and refreshing
sliding down my throat
cooling me.

your soul was like january,cold and bitter
your mind like feburary ,exciting and unpredictable
your finger tips like march  , beginning to become warm.
your face like may, forever changing its emotion
your body like june, as hot as the burning sun

hey, we said our goodbyes
so why are you still around
you blew me gentle kisses
which i caught with both hands
to make sure it would not slip from underneath
the weight of my hands
i placed it to my heart
hoping it would go
deep down into the centre of my heart
and it would stay there
so that
i would have a tiny piece
of you wherever i went.

my pillow is left stained
from the tears i have cried
and i often ask myself
how i got this way
and i blame
myself
because it was me
me who was clinging onto
that tiny piece of hope
that you would
want a girl like me
but it turns out you didn't
and now im left all alone
to face the demons
and my dear
i know you don't care
but they're killing me
and i dont know
how much longer i can go on.

find poetry
in the way
he holds his cigarette so delicately
and hope that he holds your heart
in the same way.

i am the book
left unread

i am the book
that remains on the shelf

i am the book
surrounded by books with prettier covers

i am the book
dusty and worn

i am the book
you picked up from the shelf

even though im worn and broken
you still want me.

blue
blue is the colour
of your deep and passionate eyes
which hold pain in every glare
they were the colour of the sweet sky
the colour of the deep ocean
you reminded me of the ocean actually
because when you kissed me
you always came back
no matter how many times you left
like the ocean
comes back to the sand
no matter how many times it goes away

red
red is the colour
of the wounds on your arms
from the pain in your past
crimson red is the colour of the blood
which pours from the cuts you make
when you're alone at night

yellow*
yellow  for the happiness you feel
when you're in my arms
and the perfectly formed curve
with is always on your lips when im around.

we were summer
we shone together
we saw the light glowing off each others
sharp but elegant aura.

now you're winter
cold and disturbed
you left me
you just left me
to freeze over

i remember
when you said
you'd always be there
to hold my hand
to some what comfort me

but

you left me
without a word
you left with cut up pictures
which once had you in them
smiling

but now you're a memory
i still tear petals from sunflowers
to determine whether you still love me

but when im alone at night
i think about how we used to be
and instead of tearing the petals from those pretty flowers
i tear myself part, wondering
why you left me.

death  
/deTH
the end of the life of a person or organism.

death is a splendid thing
you can escape the world
filled with cruel words
by insecure teenagers
insomnia filled nights
left worrying about the future
the definition of death
states that its the end of the life
of a person or organism
but when we die
we become memories
so to say that it is the end life
is wrong
because
if our family members or others remember us
then we are alive.

you were like a cigarette
something i had to hold so delicately between my fingers
otherwise you would drop
fall and break in two
and i wouldn't be able to fix your precious soul
when i light you up
it took tiny words
and split seconds to watch you burn
and as you burnt
small pieces of you fell onto the rough pavement
and if you waited long enough
all that would remain of you
was a shell
a shell of your former self
and pretty soon later
you would wish
to be buried 6ft under
with pretty flowers
each with a death defying fragrance
with us surrounded by your grave
whispering sweet words to your soul

she was like flowers in the garden
she was beautiful
but flowers have to wilt sometime
like she had to die
and she knew her time was now.

it appears that
even the most simplest words
could explain to you
the way i feel for you
i could try to explain it
its like the beating of a slow heart
and then when you're near it gets louder and louder
like its welcoming you, willing you to stay another day.

i never thought
when i first saw you
that your crystal blue eyes
would follow my very move
and that when i close my eyes
all i could see was those
beautiful eyes staring at me

i remember when we first fell in love
your eyes never left my sight
like an eagle
looking down on its prey

i only wish
that you were like that now

it seems like
you have forgotten about me
in the desperate bids to be liked
by others

you forgot about me
and i forgot about you

then as i take each puff
of the marlboro cigarette
it gives me relief
and then i remembered
what it was like
when i was with you

a deep frenzy shivering down my spine
fireflies deep in my stomach
because everytime i was with you
you made me glow.
you left me
captivated
and hungry for more.