Who invented you,
O critic who reflects
The lies of my body?
Our ancestors searched
for the truth deep
inside of themselves.

Please, mirror, show me
The sun in my heart
The heart in my mind
The mind in my soul
Free me from the
Shackles of discontent.

I tried to take all of you in at once
But you just go on and on
Give me a compass, a telescope, a map
So I can I find the rest of you
I will go to the end of the earth
To know every last bit of you
The good, the bad, the ugly
I want it all and I want it forever

Our ancestors survived
On kindness, generosity.
Sharing their harvests,
Holding onto each other.
Why is it that, today,
Survival is dependent on
Selfishness and power?

You filled my quiet place with smoke
****** throat and salty tears
The silence isn’t silent anymore
Your laughter and smooth words
Suffocation, persuasion
My fingers forgot how to escape
My voice forgot how to say “no”
My lungs forgot how to breathe
Swallowing fire instead of oxygen
And exhaling regret

I believed that I had etched out exactly what I needed from you,
When my grandmother stopped working in the back garden last year.
You misread every feeling that I sent to you across the night sky.
Somehow, you did too much and not enough at the same moments.

Dear God, I pray that I can fall in the crack between and love you the way you need to be loved.

The balance beam between
The strange misery of love
And the peace of anger.
I am no gymnast, but
I cover my limbs in chalk
And climb on again and again.
The falls leave bruises
That will never go away,
But I choose to continue.

She runs into the wind
With the glare of sun
In her bright eyes