as more time passes
the more i'm forgetting.
the way you smelled after a night at the bar
full of whisky and cigarettes.
how the blue and red contrasted
when we got ****** under the moonlight.
your whisky breath on my ****** tongue.
the way you laugh from your belly when
something is really stupid and how we used
to laugh at tv shows late at night.
no one knew.
the more i drift away the more i
forget how much you hurt me and
how invisible i felt when it wasn't just us.
sometimes i wonder how true love is.
is it real and honest?
it's hard to love fully when there's
trauma under my skin.
i can still feel you.
i breathe in, you breathe out.
There’s something about the
Feeling you get when you wake up
In the morning and your eyes are
Still sealed shut with sand.
The first sip of coffee after a long
Night of dreaming.
Mornings are always gleaming.
No mornings are the same
As the last.
My eyes are open but I’m still falling.
Your voice means something different
To me now.
I poured all of my light into you,
What do i have left?
our coffee stained mornings
filled up to the brim
with that dark, bitter taste.
traces of it were left on
somehow our mornings
were darker than our nights.
we were surrounded by stars
during the night,
and there was nothing
bitter about it.
its a new year,
but I'm wearing
the same socks.
nothing is different.
my anxiety has me
trapped like a
bug trapped in amber.
kind of how you
have me trapped.
but unlike amber,
you have left open gaps.
gaps for escaping.
theres no way I'm caving.
when I'm with you,
there's no behaving.
my pieces don't fit
like they use to.
its been winter for a
my petals have fallen off.
some days i wish i were
a desert flower,
drenched in sunlight.
Google maps took me the most backwards way home and I got lost.
I only got google maps because my boyfriend puts all of his trust into it, I thought maybe I should too.
But I will not use you again, google maps.
I’m thankful for the forgotten compact discs that have
been shoved into the glove compartment to listen to when the
rain static makes the Bluetooth lose its dignity.
Stuck bumper to bumper on the highway isn’t the worst thing in the world, although it seems that my lane is moving miles slower than the rest.
How beautiful brake lights look when they reflect off the freshly watered road.
I use this time to think about the day and how grateful I am to have a car to be stuck bumper to bumper on a highway.
There’s way too much pressure to trust the people driving in front of you but sometimes you have no choice when their brake lights
are the ones guiding you home.
The sun races me home as it rides the rain soaked pavement.
i do not believe in god
but i do believe in poetry
and for me
maybe poetry is prayer
and the universe
is an unwavering ear
in the shape of a god