She cuts her self at night, to see if she still feels,
to see if anything is real and the scars they never heal,
though she tries the memory's... like the scars..... are
more then real and shall never fade though she stays
up late and prays they may,she is made…. an example of,
the people are never kind, but they don't know what
goes through her mind, and either do i, though i always
try, every night she stays up and crys but she feels the need to
continually watch her self bleed,
As she feeds it, the emotions and internal commotions,
bring down sorrow and personal convulsions, Burns on her
skin smile back, it takes her a moment to relax, after wax
falls hard off her skin, leaving only an emptiness within,
When she feels she wants to die, I want to make the sky,
open up and all the clouds erupt into sunshine, make the
world seem fine, and everything's okay, but it's not,
her own mind is fraught with problems and decisions
and the thing that she envisions is the problems that
she's created with each incision
And as the razor takes and creates another tear,
The fear grows greater as the self hate grows
and evolves much deeper, Within her,
After the blood flows, the longs sleeves lay low,
on her arms in order to hide, she fights to take
what sides she has left, after all the mental stress,
her parents don’t understand her, her friends don’t
take the time to scan her, they just leave her stranded,
left out for dead lost in her head,
Smile for me child, wont you try and live for a while?
Please don't go back and react to each thing with negativity,
and try to get relief through poor stress release,
wont you please stay with me put down that knife,
stay in my life come to my paradise,
But it comes to no surprise, she lies, "I'm fine," the line,
used to define that you're not and I feel so caught like
a naught in my stomach and it's not like I've never felt
this before, but it hurts even more since you're close
but I drift like a ghost through your life, transparent,
I want to be there, to wipe away every tear
and the memory that every scar leaves,
But im afraid of the self relief
the cutting brings its turn into a habit,
Shes just has to have it,
I try to understand it to the best that I can,
But when I don’t… she leaves me to ponder
Wander the streets in my mind to find
The answer, to all this hate and sorrow,
The depression will eat you, me alive but we
must strive to look at the brighter side,
As she lays there, naked in the tub, she starts to
rub body lotion over stomach cuts, just to feel the
sting while she scrubs, its her drug and the pain
that she feels when there's strain, she wont explain
or be constrained as she lines her chest with red
human paint,
Its like a taint of the mind that is never forgotten or wanted,
But still haunted by uncertainty, pain, and misery
The pain that could fill troughs, but the love that
I have for her could never be lost......
*This is not something that I've written*
My boyfriend and a friend of his actually wrote this as a rap.
I figured it was great so I'm putting it up here.
I have a revised more poetic version called 'Scars (Revised)' also uploaded.