Sometimes it feels like the whole world's against me
Sometimes I'm not the me I want to be
These days, I find it so **** difficult to see
I'm at war with myself, I just can't agree

Sometimes I know I can be hard to abide
One moment I'm fine, then I'm hurting inside
It feels like the better part of me has died
I can't blame anyone else, I can no longer hide

Sometimes I still see my father in my eyes
The same colour and shape and the same rotten lies
They're the heartless orbs that I've grown to despise
So I'll gouge them out and I'll say my goodbyes

Sometimes I still see my mother in this face
The disgusting presence of her morbid disgrace
I'm sorry, mother, but I can not displace
The hatred for you and myself, I'm a waste

Sometimes I sense that my life has no meaning
No escape, no alibis, just endless pointless dreaming
Of who I aspire to be while I stare at the ceiling
But that can not be so I'll lay crying and screaming

Sometimes I wish that death would hold my hand
As it's the only fate that could ever understand
The full force of these shackles that hold me to this land
And burn me so fiercely with it's evil demand

Sometimes I wish you could all see the pain in this heart
That has cried out for help since the very start
But instead I will find peace when I finally part
From this life that has given me wounds that turn into scars

Sometimes I just need someone to say it's alright
Someone to care, to please turn on the light
To fight by my side each tedious day and night
Someone who'll love me and give me back my sight

She sits and ponders to herself
So many questions on her mind
And each of them requires answers
That she knows she'll never find

Begging reasons for life's lies
And the untruths she's been told
While searching for a pair of arms
That, for her, would hold

She searches for a mirrored soul
Who wouldn't mind her haggard form
Who instead would lay and hold her
Through such a tedious storm

But alas, that fate is not visible
It's so cruelly kept from her
And from the darkened passage
Her tired soul can not deter

Her love is to be torn asunder
Her mind, a toy to be played with
Happiness in now non-existent
It has become the modern myth

Life is but the beginning
Of a story called death
A saga that keeps beating
Until my final breath

This weary soul is sickened
Entangled in my head
Sometimes I can't stop wishing
To be pronounced dead

A noose, a bullet
**** it, even a pill
To get me away from
This morbid windowsill

Life is a lesson to be learned
But doesn't come with instructions
Every time I solve one issue
I'm stalked by more obstructions

Sanity is but an illusion
A deceitful trick of the mind
Raining memories upon me
That I'd rather leave behind

A noose, a bullet
**** it, even a pill
To get me away from
This morbid windowsill

I wish I'd been given a warning
About how my life would be
But this heart reflects the mistake
That was the birth of me

My death will come with relief
From me and the world all the same
So let me go, let me burn
In my own ever-raging flame

A noose, a bullet
**** it, even a pill
To get me away from
This morbid windowsill

I can't stop to chat
Sorry, I'm really busy
There's so much to do
I'm getting quite dizzy

Wallpapering, painting
And a whole lot of chores
Along with scrubbing and replacing
Handles on doors

Carpentry's enjoyable
A skill that I relish
But it tires me out
So for a break, I'll wish

Got a five minute break
Rush a quick cigarette
And a well-earned coffee
Then back off to work I set

Packing my boxes
And many a bag
Put them all in the attic
So tired, it's a drag

Hoovering all day
Kitchen needs cleaning
For the fourth time today
Then the garden needs preening

Make something to eat
To recharge energy
Sit down for a moment
With another coffee

Then it's time to go shopping
For food, drinks and more
Come back to yelling
As I walk through the door

"Mel, help me out!"
"Mel, pass me that!"
"Mel, clean the carpet...
The pup crapped on that!"

"Mel, make a coffee!"
"A sandwich might help!"
"Then get back to work!"
I can't help but yelp

Back to more painting
And scrubbing the halls
Cleaning the windows
And papering more walls

Then rest for a while
With a lovely big meal
To end the working day
And help muscles to heal

I'm aching all over
And I can't seem to sleep
So restless and sore
The job-pile's too steep

Toss and turn all night
I'm going insane
But I have to get up in the morning
And do it all again

Once again, I'm forced to neglect my chance of happiness to instead give it to others.

Once again, I sit and listen to perpetual moaning about the differences between who I am and who I should be.

Why should I abide his desire to put me under? He digs himself a deeper hole each day and unconciously awaits his own bloodstained burial.

Is is wrong that I don't care whether I allow him to breathe or dump his stiff carcass in the nearest river?

I've never been tempted by ****** but lately, the vision of his lifeless eyes has been swimming in my head like the souls of a thousand unavenged hellions.

Hell hounds howl my name as my wrath is unleashed upon his wreckless soul and screams fill my ears as my vision turns a sickly yet thrilling scarlet hue.

Believe me, sweetheart, you've been begging for this for too long and when you turned on me with your petty, insolent disgrace of an excuse for breathing, I relished the thought of ripping your heart from your chest with my bare hands.

You don't want to know the things I'd love to do to you. You don't want to hear the chilling screams from my nightmares which seem more of a blissful dream lately.

This is my last warning... next time you wrongly decide to size up to me, you'll realize your mistake... but it'll be too late. By the time you notice the lack of oxygen in your lungs, your ashes will already be scattered across your mother's dinner like parmesan cheese.

That's it. I'm done. Rant over.

People say it's independence
People say it's just a ruse
But after all I've had to lose
I now feel such loneliness

Relationships can be so cruel
But now I realize what I miss
The good times and the bliss
Even being played for a fool

Though I have people around me
I still always feel ever so alone
And without you here to hold
I can't think, I can not see

Baby, I'm sorry, please believe
I wish I'd stayed with you
My decision I can't help but rue
I regret my choice to leave

I understand you don't want me
That you just want to be friends
But I'll still love you 'til the end
Until I simply cease to be

I don't care about our bad times
The only man I want is you
I always will, you know I do
And I'll forever call you mine

You said you still loved me
But I didn't hear the lies
That lay deep in your skin
That were set deep in your eyes

I sensed truth in your words
But never knew it was a ploy
You played me, you shamed me
I was just another toy

I believe everything you said
You filled me with spite
Yet I still stayed with you
Knowing things weren't right

Did you ever truly love me?
Was I just another name?
Another pawn to move at will
In your despicable game?

These questions need answers
But I know you'll not talk
Why do you think I finally
Built the courage up to walk?

Now you're gone I see truth
I'm no longer stuck in that rut
Because I'm not chained by your lies
With my eyes wide shut

Where rainbows should be hanging
A black cloud seems to hover
I can't help but be a thorn
In the sides of so many others

Where do I go from this place?
This dark chasm in my head
When sanity flees from fear
Of the internal fire I've fed

Such ferocity these flames hold
The brutality of my mind
How could I have been so callous?
So inhumane, so unkind

I know I hurt your feelings
I hope you accept my apology
But I only wanted you to see
What it is you do to me

I let you in, I gave you strength
And you abused that power
You snatched my eyes, blinding me
And left me in the corner to cower

You may have fooled me, darling
But you underestimate me
I still saw through your lies and bile
I know the man you used to be

Why should I stay by your side?
Why should we be best friends?
I promised you eternal faith
But that contract's come to an end

I'm tired of always wishing for
A less excruciating tomorrow
So now it's time to lay you down
Along with this sweet, sweet sorrow

~This is for one of my once-best-friends who only wants to know me when he wants something.
I hope you learn the true value of friendship. If not, you're going to die a very lonely, bitter being~

It seems that while I have friends
I have more enemies
I lost most of my friends
With bad opportunities

I'm grateful for those I have
And nostalgic for those I had
I miss all the old good times
And I even miss the bad

I miss sitting down to dinner
With companions by my side
Yet I avoided responsibility
And the blame I denied

So when I find myself alone
And short of food to eat
I can always count on myself
To make a meal from misery

I hear the voices in my head
They never seem to cease
Though I beg them, "Please..."
They'll haunt me 'til I'm dead

They're my imaginary friends
And they tell me what to do
I can't tell who is who
They drive me around the bend

They encourage me to do
Stupid things every day
So I get in trouble when I say
Anything at all to you

I wish these "friends" would disappear
I don't know who I am
Sometimes I couldn't give a ****
And sometimes I'm full of fear

Yet I know they're a part of me
So though I hate these voices
I couldn't live without the noises
In my head, I wouldn't see

I'm thankful for my real friends
My loved ones who don't mock
They truly are my rock
For they help my heart to mend

The last stanza,is dedicated to my friends who help me through it all, who have stayed true through thick and thin, who have been there for me and never turned their backs on me. You are an inspiration... not just poetically but also in life. You know who you are :)

I got the biggest shock last night
When I saw zombies in the shadows
And dragging themselves slowly
Across dark streets and meadows

I heard them babbling away
In their own strange lingo
Before I saw it was just dear Grandma and friends
On their way to bingo

I bought a brand new pillow
It looks really nice
It's pink and oh so fluffy
I can't wait to give it a try

It's been a tiring day
I'm feeling rather dead
I think I'll head off now
To rest my weary head

NOM! NOM! NOM!

What the Hell is happening?
Where has my hair gone?
Why is my pillow growling?
And what is it chewing on?

I tell myself it's not real
And lay back down to dream
But then I feel teeth on my head
And I can't help but scream

NOM! NOM! NOM!

My pillow really is eating
And I'm now missing a nose
The pillow's getting fatter
As it's belly grows

I try to run away from it
But the fluffiness darts across the room
It's gnashing at my toes
This fluffy pillow of doom

NOM! NOM! NOM!

I think I'll test things out
Before buying any more bedding
I think I've finally lost the plot
This pillow's done my head in

I set the thing on fire
And ripped it into shreds
There's no way I'm letting
That thing back under my head!




-Harry Potter reference: I just realized after posting this that with no hair or nose, I would look like Voldemort!-

She held the world in the palm of her hand
There was no pain that she couldn't withstand
But she soon wiltered to the voice of command
No longer a pyramid but just one grain of sand

She was a pearl of beauty and grace
All of life's lessons etched into her face
But to his touch, she'd shiver and brace
No longer smiling, she knew her place

She once was strong, she once held power
Where radiance shone down in abundant showers
But he ignored her until her soul he'd devour
Leaving her heart in the corner, she'd cower

She grew stronger with time until she could stand
Picking her heart up, she soon took command
She left him in awe at her final demand
To stay in her life, though not how they'd planned

Now this pearl has no home, no heart to share
She'll search the sea for an oyster who'll care
While building back up her pymarid lair
So she can once again soar where eagles dare