Today is a poetry day,
She told herself.

People were dying,
Hopeless babies were being born,
And she was bleeding.
Yet there was a
Momentary
Calm
Inside the ever-raging storm.

Eyes gazing lovingly at
A wall,
She smiled and bowed her thanks
To quiet voices that
Sounded like
They had dimpled cheeks
And glory-glazed eyes
As they approved her thoughts.

She liked to think of
Synaesthesia as she typed
Away the
Colours
Of the words
That swam around in their
Polluted glass tank.

Today felt like a poetry day,
She said out loud.

Everything was uneven,
Someone somewhere was drowning to sleep,
And she was oh so mentally ill.
Yet there was
A tinge of
Comfort
In the darkness.

Her body was glowing
With toxicity,
And she was
Shaking from the
Cold
She couldn’t feel,
As soundless lullabies
Played in her mind and
Notes
She couldn’t read
Danced before her eyes.

She was crazy,
Everything was always a maybe,
Tomorrow was nowhere,
But, Ah…
Today
Today was poetry.

I'm tired of rolling over
At 3:00am
And having him turned away,
Or worse,
Gone.
I'm tired of rolling over
At 3:00am
And feeling nothing
But emptiness.
I want to roll over
And thank god for you
As you dream,
Until morning wakes
And you wake me with a smile
A kiss.
I want love.

He thinks it's okay
To toss her aside,
To break her bones
To hit her twice, three times,
Eight times
A day.
He thinks it's okay to tell her
She's ****
She's worthless
She's garbage
Just to tell her how sorry he is
When night falls
And all has finally gone quiet.
He will hold her and she'll let him
Because she forgives him
And she believes him
Over and over and over again.
And she doesn't get that he's the sinner
And she's the saint.
She's putting on more makeup to hide
The bruises, now dark blue.
She has stopped coming to dinner.
She's wasted space, so he says,
So it matters not if she's thinner.
He tells her she's ugly and the dress
Is distasteful.
So she goes to the bathroom, tells him
She'll change.
She sobs on the floor, her mind gone a strange.
How could she let it get to this?
She lifts her head, whispers "no".
She gets up to the window.
She could have picked the razor or the rope,
She could freeze out in the snow,
But she chose to live.
Otherwise he would win.
She crawled outside, quick and quiet.
And ran.
As she ran she began to smile,
And thought,
This is what it's like to be free,
I'm free, I'm free!
No longer would she have to plea
To stay alive.
She felt all the burdens slip behind her as she carried on,
Knowing now he had not won.
The tears on her face dried on cold,
Replaced now with being bold.
The dark blue bruises blended into
The winter night
And would eventually fade
With morning light.

You were called back so soon.
The angels sang to you,
And carried you away.
Why you were only here for such a small time, I'll never know.
But I know that I'm a mother of an angel in the sky,
Who looks down on me. And understands.
Maybe you were here to tell me I was not ready yet, and show me how much I could love.
But the time was not then.
And you're back in the clouds.

I knew from when I placed my hand
Onto my belly.
I looked up to heaven and thanked God for you.
You weren't in my plan
But now you're the biggest part of it.
And I promise to keep you safe
Until your brave little heart is ready for the world.
And I will welcome you from the darkness,
I will shelter you from all harm.
You're so small now, barely there,
But you are making your mark on me.
Welcome home.

I was once weak.
I let myself feel every type of pain.
And now I let the world fall to my feet.
I have risen from my knees, I am standing above the clouds.
And you will hear me roar.

On the top of the grave stands a man.
A man who knows exactly why he's there.
He looks down into the wet soil, and sobs.
It is too much for him to bare.
Here lies yesterday, reads this tomb.
A time for you to change, a time for you to make things right.
And yet here you are, weeping over what was once your biggest opportunity.
And it was left to die.