Feeling your
Fleeting interactions
Freeing my
Foot path
From my heart to yours
Feeling your
Fleeing song birds
Fearing myself
Forgetting your words
Fighting my
Forseen
Future for
I have the world pressed to my palms

Looking for
God
Somewhere between
A love letter lost
In a landfill
And hitting
A hundred
Miles an hour
On the highway

i miss cherry blossoms
and that time of the year
where life seems
to sprout from my ears
i miss waves

and most of all
i miss you

No one wants
Broken goods
finger to lips
Stolen sips from
Those sweet honey hips
No one wants
A melded mind
Mineral mounds
And uncommon sounds
No one wants you
But mostly no one wants
me hung from a tree
Spoiled she
No one wants my broken
Goods
Baggage Claim
Swallowed in flame
No one wants
My mineral mound
Pumping heart sounds
Tossed around
Abandoned
One two three
What could it be?
No one wants
Damaged goods

Walking down memorial
the smell of hot & wet soil
packed into plastic
making walls along the sidewalk
the gardener and the garden
both remind me
how the seasons begin to turn
like pages in a book
that was left
without needing to know
the ending

and yes
how sweet is that scent

spring floats through
with graduation balloons
and plasticine
alteration accompanied by
sweat behind my knee

I'll keep pivoting
and maybe soon
I'll find the courage
to take a step
in a direction

I'm always
teetering on
the edge of escapism
and the firm grounding
of an embrace

You sleep like the echo
I feel in my teeth
When I go to bed drunk
And spinning
But I’m ok with
Spinning, are you ok
With familiarity?
A closeness you can
Taste then put away
On an untouched shelf
An awareness, granular
And brief.
So sometimes
mornings are
Shoulders to lips
And others are
Hoping you’ll wake

still
      bleeding
like the Earth seeps
carbon carriers
losing air
and trying to fill my
lungs deeper
fuller
trying to
take a look at what
love means
just to catch a glimpse
just to feel
the clutches of
a warm-hearted
half ***
idea of forever
to whisper
3 words
3 syllables
to actually mean it

to hold it in my hands
and watch the warmth melt
freeze
repeat

what is it like?
to hold this
fraudulent thought
in your head for so long
what is it like to
find that forever just walks
                                                                             away?

Right now
I feel like
I want to fall asleep
And never wake up

Remember when we were sweet
Butter cream and gardenias
Not built to last in the
Atlanta south

This morning
I woke up
I had three
cigarettes for breakfast
and I went back
to bed
crucified
by my comforter
my arms
really just anchors
but at
least I ate
breakfast.

spider hands
with your whispering
webs weaved
in place

cold carbon
carrying
songs of
somber souls
sick sickle
someones

spider hands
you wrap yourself
in your own
mesh

There are no windows here
cold body
mind so near
sink like summer time
sink don't fall
No, no windows
not here

Just empty pages
to be written
and voices to be heard
Plenty of doors to be broken
thoughts that scream
but you dare not say a word
lay on the floor
sweet child
and hope to hear the rain
lay on the floor
and hope you'll see day again
cast away into your cave
into the night
where you cannot be saved
force yourself awake
and force yourself to create
force yourself to love
the day
and force yourself
just not too late

I know there are no windows here
and sunshine seems so strong
but please I'm begging you to
get up and head outside
I'm begging you
to stay strong
No there are no windows here
but you've been deeper in
darkness than this.

take my hands
(don't forget
to cut at the
joint)
i don't need them anymore
crash my car
on the interstate
flip over
fragments of
rose blood
clots
and tireless
time bombs

take my hands
and cut at the joint

we were emaciated; ruined  
much like the twisted silence at the foot of your bed
a hollow battle field where our hearts would lay
and in nooks of tangled legs and distraught blankets
our secrets would hide

then at night fall they would dissapate
into the cage we called a home,
to poison the atmosphere already swollen
with ambigious thoughts and supressed dreams
  
we wait for rain
and we wait for the sun
but never reach into the atmosphere

so like our secrets we lay dormant
in our monotonous routines
and our open eyed sleep

For a moment
My skin fell off of my bones
And the
Warm water clutched by
Your fingertips flickering
Across my form
They send people
To rivers to wash
Away their sins
You sent me to the river
And accidentally
let a little piece
of me in
Locked away

But bare to my bones
For just a moment
It seemed that you're
All I would ever know.

shivers
like the three day old knot
thats grown into my back
just above
my four month old
spinal tap

and i hope
i pray
that you might
stay for
one more night
of my chaotic
and calm
coaster ride

Some days it's difficult to
Escape
The clutches
Of my bed

Skin to knife
Skin to knife
Skin to knife
Knife
To
Skin

And you said
It’s been a dream
While I’ve been awake
Counting stars on your ceiling
Memorizing each snore into
My neck
Full from food and
Peaceful cinema
You say it’s been a dream
And I’ve always been bad
At telling
The two apart

I know a man
who sleeps
with a chiquita
box
as a pillow
on auburn avenue
every day I pass him
at 11:00 alseep
in a nook
of the city
and sometimes
for a second
I think about
bringing him
food
or water
but
I tell myself
tomorrow

now I pass that building
his pillow
and blanket gone
and a hipster
juice store sign
is being pasted
on the window

I light
a cigarette
and smoke
one
I do not stop
and wait
for tomorrow

Lost in hands locked
Tightly coiled around my finger tip
Bent and broken
For something my lips should slip

Round and round
For better or worse feelings lost within
Numb and aching
Surely you won't let this fluorescent light win

Glasses for night
As your mind would fail to grow
Lost in love
And your name I don't even know

There is a light trapped in her room
Where old cigarettes stain
the yellow walls
With a putrid
placidity
Not natural
not her own
like the rows on her hips
that wont fade
or the love stuck
to her already puckered lips
she can talk
but wont quit

It's deeper than that
she says
yet the atmospheric
pressure is still
and her mind

chaotic

  calm

      chaotic

             calm



                       crash

I know
That
I'm not
Actually alone
And that
Dying won't
Really solve
Anything
So I'm just
Stuck
******* thinking
About it

My heart
Doesn't belong in
My stomach
Carving out
A hollow place
An attempt
To hold myself
Together

sometimes
i dip my
hair in herbal
soaks
in hopes
of turning
into
crumbly
man made
nature
and putrid
performances
of morals

I am quite familiar with loss
but losing your love
is not something I wish
to ever know.

Cigarettes are expensive
but I need a reason
to stand outside of parties
and avoid
interaction.

sometimes
i'm reminded
about the mineral
mounds within
my brain
and

sometimes
those reminders
are me running
off of the road
in hopes
to
die a
little bit
again.

It's far easier
to believe
that you never really loved me at all
than to drown in the fact
that I just couldn't
keep you
or maybe I just
didn't deserve you quite
like I had imagined

Your hands
    cleaner
than my
sunday
shirt
and
I've collected
quite a bit
of dirt

Wishing
You were the
Tingle at the
Nape of my
Neck

Lately when I drink
I drink at bars two miles
Away from my house
Four shots of whiskey and
I usually get sad and I
Walk home
And the other night
I did that
And caught wind
That was missing
Someone

I began to stumble
My way home
I usually try to look mean
And unapproachable
But still I hear
A "hey baby"
******* can't
See I'm crying
And I turn around
On fire and tell him
To *******
He tells me it's thanksgiving as if
That means ****
To me
And I barrel home
Thinking he doesn't
Know that I am
Just starting to notice
All the cracks in
The pavement
And the empty spaces
Where the honey combed
Brick used to lay
And I'm wishing
I hadn't felt so
Strange toward you

i like the way
your face creases
creep out from under
your glasses
around your eyes
when you smile

My roommate
Cut his feet
On glass I broke
Twice at least
And I feel a lot better
Than I did a year ago

Blue lips
and I crashed my car on the on ramp
to the interstate

I never had            rose petals
placed in my head
or a *******
                         sappy romance
just concrete
bricks
scraping my back
every time your
body
tensed up and swayed
the thoughts
the dead leaves
left alone
to wash down
the drain or
sink into the Earth

I often wonder how
it would've been if
I had
tried to say no
instead of not saying
yes

there's so
much
I have
to get
done
but
the only
thing I'm
good
at is
shutting

down

condensation makes
me heavy
but I'm lucky
to have known
the rain

sunlight sunburns
and bruised cheeks
can kiss
until
cracks form along
my skin

but I'm lucky to have
felt
light

I'm so
          so
              blessed
to
constantly
feel so

                                      h e a v y
                                                     &
                                                           l i g h t

I want to
Throw seeds to the wind
And hope they land
S c a t t e r e d
Amongst your
Scars
I hope forests grow
Where there once
Was pain
And I hope the roots
Grow so thick
Writhing
living
Roots
I hope they grow so thick
That you'll never be touched again
And in under this thick canopy
I hope to hide
Save some safety

as your palms,
much like the ink pressed to my face,
melt and drip
all over the floor
leaving me in
such
       a lonely




          place.

mountains
and cradles
and my eyes
which have retreated back
into my skull
because i can't sleep
with all of these polarities
running wild
in my mind

I used to say that
I was only a creature of the day
despite my love for
the moons glow
I sent the night away
and now all I wish
to see
is the moon
I know

There's a hole in
The roof
Of my house
Although
The hole isn't
Directly above my bed
It leaks
Into the second layer of roofing
And funnels itself
Right to where I lay my head

My room is
A puddle
And my heart is
Torn wide open
Because love doesn't look
Like lies
On grapevines
Whispering willows
That climb
Crawl past
Cranes
And crows in the sky
Blocking out the sun
Making night the only
Thing that shines

Love doesn't look
Like bruised bones
And paranoid telephones
love doesn't seem
Emotionally estranged and
So incredibly alone

It's lips
Are warm
And soft like home
the pretty
And the ugly
Are both grown
But love stays through
Winter snow

My room is
Puddles
And I feel so alone
But that doesn't mean
Your love lips
Will ever be home

Loving you is like wanting to know the softness of an exceptionally beautiful cloud. One can only know its touch in the form of rain.

Adopt my heart
Its been
passed
kicked around
has over 300 likes
Heart felt messages
about giving it
a forever home
a place to love
to be loved
a place safe
And dry
Let me be
the "crazy people lady"
you never used

Today I realized
that tomorrow you
could get hit by a bus

and you'd never know
that I love you

and what a flower
you've picked
crushed beneath
imperfections of the human hand