What will become of me when I'm dead & gone?
I think often of this as I count on.

The days tick by, and I think to reflect.
How will I be remembered when nothing is left?

Will I have no regrets, will I feel proud of my life?
Will I feel pain in the end, or be ridden of strife?

As the calendar pages flip, a sadness I confront.
That life one day ends, if I may be so blunt.

Confronted indeed and a fact we all know.
Yet, are we ever really ready when it's our time to go?

We are told, take it day by day, enjoy all your time.
Because before you know it, God walks by your side.

What will we leave behind when we go?
Have we successfully navigated life's highs and lows?

Do people speak of us fondly or with malice and pain?
Our dreams, plans, goals, have they all be attained?

These thoughts race through my head.
With worry, ponder, and through tears and dread.

But I cannot worry about what's yet to arrive.
I am simply humbled and blessed to still be alive.

Life is a gift, in the purest of forms.
Life is rocky, sailing a ship through its storms.

But life is worth it, through it all, I still smile.
I think a life well lived is a life worthwhile.

I remember it. It's a memory.
Sad to think that's all it'll be.

Happiness comes and goes.
But God, gone maybe, who will know?

How sad to think as I watch it drift.
Cherish it as if it's a gift.

I speak in past tense as it is, it was.
Lonely in isle, ache is my cause.

Happy no more, will it ever return?
My heart aches, for it, I still yearn.

A love so sweet, pure in form.
Icy hearts melted in desire so warm.

But I can no longer recall such emotion.
It's as if I never felt your devotion.

The feeling it seems, gone in haste.
Funny though, I long for its taste.

Sad to think of a memory come to pass.
Shattered heart, pieces broken like glass.

Happiness, a state of mind they say.
Say, I, recollections fade in dark dismay.

Disillusioned into thinking a feeling remains.
For all of eternity, folklore's invention for pain.

Happiness is a facade, ebbs and flows.
Only appears once, lost at sea, I suppose.

Come stay a while, I think to myself.
Fill this hollow space, perched on my shelf.
Right there is good, right above my lungs.
Sit, stay, say, as the words leave my tongue.
Craving for the company, anything will do.
Really, anything at all but I only want you.
Melodic cacophony, and the void subsides.
Ironic, yes, I let my brain be my guide.
The heart will lie, cheat and steal.
A strong vessel yes, but it never quite heals.
Stay a while, I say as I beg and I plead.
Check into the room, let me take the lead.

Please fill the vacancy, ease my pain.
The noises get louder, as blood flows within my veins.
Why can't you hear my cries and my shouts?
Wasted, depleted, and filled up with doubt.
Fine, I scoff, leave the key by my chest.
The lonely light will be my only guest.
Nothing new there, I suppose as I say,
To myself, some check in but none ever stay.
And the years pass on, and they pass into past.
A lasting reminder that nothing ever lasts.

Come stay a while, I say aloud through the tears.
In an empty room, my words fall amongst deaf ears.

Just like it was yesterday, memories flood back.
Ready to board, the bags all packed.

Fluctuations of the mind, time echoes past.
A romance never destined to last.

The anticipation waxed and waned,
The look on his face, her mind is stained.

Eyes traced the lines upon her face,
As heads draw near, with little space.

Lips entwined in perfect synchrony.
Though eyes shut tight, she finally sees.

As she plays it back, her smile bends.
For a broken heart cannot be mend.

Giddy is she who rests her head.
Recalling every look, touch and word said.

The room is spinning, hearts goes pound.
In perfect silence, it’s the only sound.

One year later she plays it back.
Remembers how all the bags were packed.

Goodbyes were said, promises made.
She only wishing he had stayed.

Said his heart was in another place.
Feelings that were just misplaced.

She shed no tears for no tears fell.
An emptiness inside her swelled.

Lonely and alone, another year.
Seems quite strange but still no tears.

Empty as a barren room.
Her days filled with sorrow and gloom.

One year later, she plays it back.
Remembers how all the bags were packed.

As she got off the plane, their eyes laced.
In haste, not knowing the future they faced.

Simply a story of woman and man.
Each who weren’t part of the plan.

Fate absent in all of their days.
Each who decided it’s best to part ways.

There is no happy ending this time.
Only a poem that happens to rhyme.

Ticking, tock. There goes the clock.
Racing, running, and rattling about.
Can't do a **** thing to make it stop.
Chase it, cherish it, throw it all away.
Clinging, climbing, begging it to stay.
Past, the here, the now, and the soon.
The forevers, the memories, and the goodbyes.
Constantly ticking, passing by, with one foul swoop.
Swept up in ephemeral moments, fleeting, and free.
Fear in the eyes for all these goodbyes will never come again.
Can't go back, can't take it back, stacked against all odds.
Pleading, needing, begging to be transported back in time.
Can't do a **** thing to make it stop.
The hands dance along that big, round clock.
Slow it down, speed it up, yet nothing can control this clock.
Blocked by a moment in time, wanting to rewind.
Only forward we can go, sadly passing by those once known.
We said our goodbyes, can't be said again.
Can't slow it down or speed it up, can't do anything to stop that clock.
One foot in front of the other, stride by stride.
An entire life is just a memory of time.

Silence, solitude and serenity.
Sometimes, I like it when it’s only me.
Feelings of immense content and comfort.
When it’s only me, I cannot get hurt.

In times of good, and in times of pain,
Only one person can keep me sane.
No one to lean on, and nowhere to go.
To get me through the highs and lows.

I am scared at how I feel this so.
I’m scared of what lies deep below.
Within me, I have a desire to change.
Yet, this feeling is so foreign and strange.

For so many years, I’ve been alone.
Quite frankly, it’s all I’ve ever known.
To allow another to enter my life…
Well, I fear that would bring me great strife.

For I’ve walked alone for so long.
Anything else would feel just wrong.
I have strength in myself, indeed I am strong.
Yet, I’m not quite sure where I belong.

To entrust my life to another soul,
My heart would surely take its toll.
For loneliness is sorely confused.
With a heart that’s simply broken and bruised.

Being alone is not a blessing nor a curse.
Simply a fear of something much worse.
That being alone is all that I foresee.
At sea, only me, under a willow tree.

Charred, blackened, chewed and spat.
Broken, battered, this and that.
Gobbled me up, with nothing left.
Stole my heart with one swift theft.
Built me up, broke me down.
Flipping, flopping, all around.
Fed me lies, good disguise.
No such thing as such nice guys.
It's no surprise, you took it back.
Shaken, shattered, fade to black.
Betrayal, rejected, it's nothing new.
Never should have put my trust in you.