A monster appears
like one from your childhood
An inner battle commences
Between the bad and the good

At first, you'd find them in movies
or under the bed
Now as you grow, you fear
The monsters live in your head

Disguised as shadows in night,
New monsters now appear
These monsters are sneakier,
They know what you fear

Struggling to breathe,
your eyes filled with fear
Trapped, alone, no where to hide
Can't escape, it's far and it's near

This monster is tricky,
It plays tricks on your mind,
You plead for it to stop,
But there's no where to hide

This monster knows you
It makes you question your past
With a bleak outlook,
You wonder how long this might last

The one place you felt safe
Before this monster invaded
Now your mind is no solace
Every good memory faded

How do you run from something
That plays tricks on your mind?
How do you know who you are
When it's yourself you can't find?

How do you feel joy from
things that now trigger pain?
How do you move forward with life
when only fear remains?

We all grow up
It's a natural part of life
No one ever warns us though
That life comes with great strife

No one ever tells us
To be afraid of our thoughts
Feeling lost and alone
With many battles still to be fought

Once this monster invades,
It's hard to get back
To a life once lived,
Before this monster attacked

Our parents warned us of
the bad guys outside
They never told us
of the ones in our minds

And now this monster has control
You no longer recognize the mirror
You pray for this to end,
For prayers fall upon deaf ears

You question your sanity,
You question your morals
This monster knows how to torture
To envelop you in its toil

You know you have a battle ahead
This monster can't defeat
Crippled by the past
You must overcome and beat

This is an illness
This is internal torture
But you mustn't forget
You've got a bright future

You must fight on,
Between this inner war
Good versus evil,
What do you fight for?

Fight for love,
Fight to win back your mind
Fight for family and joy
Fight for what you still must find

Monsters can attack
Anyone, anytime
Lest not judge
For you never know when a monster might prey upon YOUR mind





Author note: end the stigma of mental illness. Talk about it.

I once told someone, "every time I drive, I cry."
They asked me "what do you mean?"
I said, "every time I drive, I cry..."
Or so it seems.

They asked me why these tears I shed.
"Music," I replied, "keeps my heart fed."
"Music," they asked. "How can this be?"
I smiled and said, "it resonates with me."

They noticed the smile
as it danced along my face.
They asked why then there are tears
that take that smiles place?

My smile weakened as I turned to speak.
"Music brings with it, both the good & the bad."
They looked at my eyes that quivered with fear.
"Music", I said "makes me happy AND sad."

Confused, they asked, "Then why listen to the sad?"
My smile returned and eyes no longer frightened.
"In a sea of people, music makes me feel less lonely."
They thought for a moment, soul enlightened.

"I think I get it now," they said.
"Your tears come from love and pain."
I reached for the stereo as my car came to a halt.
"Music", I said "is the one thing in life that keeps me sane."

There once was a girl.
Full and free.
There once was a girl.
That girl was me.

She was happy and loved.
Her heart was content.
Her one wish in life
Was a life well spent.

She succeeded and soared
Climbed to new heights.
A bright future ahead
For which she set her sights.

Gradually things slowed.
For time passes by.
She grew and grew
Unsure how or even why.

Suddenly she felt lost,
Without purpose or meaning.
And although, things were good
Only sadness she was feeling

She was a broken girl
At a mere 22
She was a broken girl
And so very lost too.

Unhappy in her job,
searching for her place.
It's not what she had planned
Looking for her space.

She was lonely in every sense.
Even with family and friends.
She had a broken heart
For no one could ever mend.

She longed for love
And in 22 years,
She hadn't found anyone,
She only found tears.

This girl felt guilty
For feeling this so
She had a great life
Why did she feel so low?

This girl didn't give up
And this girl never will
She will always keep searching
For her happy ending still.

You had a lifelong friend, someone to tell,
all your secrets to, who knew you so well.

You had a confidante, night or day,
Who would reassure you of just what to say.

You had a drinking bud, a partner in crime.
Laughing & bonding the entire time.

You had a forever friend, who stood by you.
In times of good, we made it through.

In times of bad though, you got mad.
And said things you shouldn't have.

You couldn't swallow your pride,
For the sake, of staying by each other's sides.

You cursed, you cried, and stomped your feet.
You made promises, you couldn't keep.

You said things, you surely regret.
Though, it's too late now, I'm willing to bet.

You cannot take it back that you hurt me.
Though, maybe that was your intention, I see.

They say, sticks and stones may break your bones,
But words can never hurt me as I sit alone.

I'm here to say, that people aren't toys for you to play.
You cannot hurt them and get mad when they don't stay.

You had a lifelong friend, who was there for you.
Now, as we part ways, I'll wish you well in all you do.

And I have tried, do not think that I have not.
For, even through darkness, I still believe.
I have tried to squander any hope I possess,
And tell myself that everyone always leaves.

Here I am, even now, telling myself "not again."
To hold on to my fears, to reside in the dark.
I try to push down what I am feeling inside,
Scared that you might actually leave a mark.

I fear that you might actually bring me joy.
And I'm scared to admit that you do.
For as long as I've lived, I've tried to ignore,
That for me, there might be a you.

Out there, somewhere, the world is big.
And I guess that's why I've tried,
to deny that love exists, at least not for me.
To this rule, I can no longer abide.

For you, have eased my weary soul.
For you, have wiped my eyes dry.
For you, have made me believe in love,
A concept I thought I'd always deny.

For you have seen a light in me.
For you have brought me out of the night.
For me, the emptiness within has been replaced
With a feeling that simply feels right.

I once believed love was only found in books,
where everyone knew just what to do.
Then you came along, and made me believe
That me is no longer me, unless it is with you.

I lost a piece of myself that day.
It is with a heavy heart, I declare.
Though, I freely gave that piece away
To those whom I love and care.

In this life, we leave pieces all around.
Our footprints embedded like sand.
Imprinted on a place that impacted me.
A place that lent a helping hand.

For years, 4 years, a journey embarked.
With fearful eyes, I tried,
To find my place in this foreign land.
And I did so with great pride.

So many faces greeted me with smiles
And friends with memories to share.
A sense of belonging in this world,
For nothing else can compare.

These pieces we leave behind,
Help us stay knights at heart.
Flinging high the scarlet & grey,
For nothing can keep us apart.

And though I walked yesterday,
With my back turned aside.
I will always return to walk back down,
My beloved Walk of Pride.

Yes, I lost a piece of myself that day.
But I do not cry tears of sorrow.
For in my heart, there is only joy,
In knowing, there is always tomorrow.

Today, tomorrow, and years from now,
Arcadia, in my heart it will reside.
With open arms to welcome me home,
And I'm so thankful for the ride.

And they say when it rains, it pours.
But for me, any rain would do.
You see, alone am I in this drought.
With lonely thoughts of you.

With lonely thoughts of you,
As I stare beyond the pane.
Behind the pain, sorrowed eyes
As drops dance out in the rain

As drops dance out in the rain,
An empty ache swirls within.
The sky emboldens with a boom,
For thoughts are all they've been.

For thoughts are all they've been.
Nothing more, and nothing less.
I long to be out in the rain,
To this fear, I must confess.

To this fear, I must confess.
As I stare on, into the sky.
An empty heart still boldly beats.
Without much reason why.

Without much reason why,
No knock upon my door.
Just the sounds of summer rain.
How I long for something more.

How I long for something more.
If only someone could see.
If the storms could only pass,
And let the sun shine down on me.

Let the sun shine down on me,
For warmth could give me light.
And soften my cindered soul.
In hearts, happiness ignites.