Mel Little

Mel Little Jul 17

I think it's the fact
That I never let my inner child
Go

She and I play all the time
Daydream together
Muse about the what ifs

And we still don't know what we wanna
Be

But she and I are fine with that
We laugh about it
Giggle about the what could have beens

But she is easy to hurt
Thin skinned
The world is mean
And she and I
Are thick as thieves
I know her like the back of my hand
And her heartache
Is mine

Mel Little Jul 10

Let them

I have decided to let go of the silly notion
That I can somehow control all of this
Control all of you
I can only control myself
(And that's even a little misleading)

So you can take your opinions
And do with them what you will
I literally refuse
To find it in me
To care

Mel Little Jul 5

Wants Versus Needs

I don't need you, I want you
And for me that's a lot
Figuring out I can stand on my own
Just fine
I don't need your help, I've got this
But I want you to lift heavy things for me
Anyway

I don't need you, I want to
Take care of you in a way
That no one ever has
Forever
To be the unwavering support you've
Given up on having
I promise

I don't need you, I want you
And not to take advantage of
To hold when you need holding
Space and time and
Your body
To cry when we need to cry
To laugh when we want to laugh

I don't need you, I want you
And not desperately,
But fleetingly

I want you to be happy
I need you to be happy
But I want you anyway

Mel Little Jul 2

Princess Charming

This feels like the opposite of Rapunzel.

Like, you don't have hair
(Not long enough to pull myself up with, anyway,
Only long enough to pull you toward me)
And you're obviously a boy
But somehow I have to break you
Out of this fortress

Of your own brain
This prison you've locked yourself
Away in, and kicked away the key
Because no one ever showed you that
Life could be any different

My Gods, let me show you.
Let me hold you.
I know just how life can be different
How love can be different
I can show you

If I can just break you out
Of this ******* castle

Mel Little Jul 1

Struggle bus

It's something like the insecurity that claws at my chest
The need to be needed more aligned than that what's best

But I never forget the way their mouths drop open when I fall
Or the guilty thrill I get when I'm about to get it all

It's happiness, fleeting, shaking, faking, it's all a ******* act
While my mind struggles and bubbles with what's fiction or a fact

Mel Little Jun 30

Friends

The poet in my always wants to take apart everything

The shish in his pants as he slid them off and they hit my floor

How fur like, soft as thick, his inky hair was as I ran my fingers through it, caressing the scalp underneath gently with the tips

The beauty of the curves of the muscles in his back, how gorgeously proportioned every part of him is

The vibration of his laughter, the heaviness of his arms as he fell asleep wrapped around me

The way my heart squeezed when he woke up and cared gently for me

I haven't slept so well next to someone in so long

It all still hurts

So I see him, and we smile, and we both know
That this world existed between us
While everyone else speculates
And I pretend that
I don't have complicated feelings
And he pretends
He doesn't feel at all
And we pretend
We have only ever been friends

Mel Little Jun 30

Domesticated

I will probably always be
Just the tiniest bit feral

But part of feminism is the choice
And I would really like the choice
To just stay home

And clean a house and do a million hobbies
Stay close to my son, be able to take him to
AND pick him up from school.

Follow my dreams. Write like my life
And very income
Depends on it.

Write like no ones reading because I don't have to consider it
Life or death

I would like to scrub floors and toilets
Wear pretty clothes for a man
That truthfully loves me and doesn't
View me as property, but a proper
Partner

I just want to stay safe
In my four walls
With my words