I'm the safe option, it's why you want me.
Because I'm the option you don't have to invest in, or change for,
The option that's easy because it's the one that can't be real.

You want me because I cannot leash you, I cannot go through your phone, I cannot tell you what you should or should not do. I can only hold midnight vigil and revelry for the darkest parts of your soul.

You want me because you always have, maybe a little, impression on a different version of you, 23 was a little easier.

But none of this will ever be all of it. None of it will ever encompass the entire truth. None of it stops the pull that never made sense anyway.

But it doesn't matter. We both know 400 miles is a gap we won't bridge. We both know at the end of the night, we're still going to be lonely.

But if it helps you sleep, the knowledge I'd burn it down for a chance to fill myself up with you? Take it, take me and empty yourself into me.

The tendrils creep up slowly
Icy cold wraps up smooth thighs first
Sinking into the pit of my stomach
The dregs of anxiety unwavering

"You'll always be alone."

Don't I know it? I tell myself,
Fighting off the fear again and again
The clutching cold at my throat
Vines of breathlessness encroaching
On my ability to live
This ******* rock on my chest has to let up

"You'll never be good enough."

I know that too, that's why
I continue to fight, continue to learn
Continue to make mistakes and repeat
Them just in case.

I ******* know. I know my faults. I know my hangups. I know.

The truth just is:

Happy people make **** poor poets.

How strange, bitten lips between old friends
A juxtaposition from the reality that was

How intriguing, something familiar
Yet entirely different from what we could ever be

How worrying, the truth of it
The people we know will never see this coming from us

How delightful, the strange newness here
I only hope that this doesn't end with us lost at sea

Maybe you do not realize,
That I wish nothing more than to
Break down all your walls
Rip through the bricks you have around your heart
And hold you until you feel safe again.

Maybe you do not realize
that I am not the damsel in distress
I am the knight, riding in on a white horse to kick *** and take names
Ideally yours at the end of the journey

Maybe you do not realize
That for everyone that's hurt you,
I've been hurt too.
I know the shield you're carrying.
I want you to know you can put it down.

Maybe you do not realize
All I wanted out of this
Was you.

I genuinely didn't mean to hurt your feelings, but don't disrespect me or degrade me and think there are no repercussions to your ego or livelihood,
That is not the way this goes.

You may not have realized, but though I go through Demon phases, I am a living, breathing Goddess that you will either worship or fear.
Whichever seems more to your liking.

Don't dwell so hard, dear one.
I won't actually off myself if you disappear.
It is what it is.
I'm just a ****** being in need of release
Don't let me ruin you