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Melanie Beth Nov 2011
I close my eyes
as you take my hands
into your own,
and the warmth of your skin
sends chills down my arms
while our fingers interlock.
I have nothing left
to fight my tears with
and so I let them fall
ungracefully.
You tell me again
how everything will be alright,
but this is where my trust
falls short. Where I
fall short.

Close your eyes, baby,
don't look at me
or rather, who I've become
because of you.
I'm weaker than I've ever been
Weak in my knees
weak in my stomach
I'm falling apart.
Oh, I'm weak in my heart.
You make me crazy
darling. I don't know how
You manage to manipulate
every feeling I posess.
I am left
with hollow memories
as fear takes hold of me
while I wait
for that inevitable moment
when you will turn away,
walk away, run away,
from me.

Close your eyes, baby,
you don't need to see
the way I am falling apart
in your arms tonight,
the way I have fallen apart
in your heart tonight.
Release my hand now,
but gently,
for I cannot stand on my own.
Let me go now,
but slowly,
because I'm bound to break.
Say your goodbyes now,
but sweetly,
for I wish to remember you.
Close your eyes now,
quickly,
and this will all
be over.
Melanie Beth Oct 2011
Come back to me
you sweet, sweet boy.
Reach out for my hand
while the sun is shining
like you used to
when we were young.
Look at me
with those green,
brown, brilliant eyes
and try to hide
your smile.
Oh, that smile.
So carefree,
so perfect.
Your crooked teeth
aligned just right
but you used to hide them
behind your lips.
Oh, those lips.
Soft, smooth, strawberry.
I taste it
on my tongue, still.

Come back to me
you stupid, stupid boy.
Fall to your knees
at my feet, beg for me.
Just tell me
you made a mistake,
but now you want us
our countless plans
the future we dreamed of
all of it, back.
Ask my forgiveness
over and over
so I can savor
the sound of those words.
Reach out for my hand
like you used to
when we were young.
Tempt me to take it
hold it,
never let it go.
Watch me as I walk
away from you this time.
Melanie Beth Oct 2011
I am needy.
I need your attention
           your presence
           your comfort, consolation
I need to know you're here to stay
                          that you won't run away
I need constant reassurance
I need loving words and kind gestures
I need so much from you
           so much more than I should
I need to know if you can give me what I need
                                            promise to stay
I need you be honest with me
I need you to stay if you can
                       leave if you must
I need to feel you here tonight
                      like everything is alright
I need to believe I can give you my heart
I need so much more than you know
I need you to know
I need you.
Wrote this quickly...was experimenting with this style again, the one that developed in my other poem, Fear is keeping me awake.
Melanie Beth Oct 2011
Fear is keeping me awake
It slowly creeps up beside me
                makes my heart race
                            my pulse quicken
So that I'm at a loss of what to do
                                      where to go from here
And I can't comprehend what might happen
if one day you cease to be in my life
                                   to care how I feel
                                               at all
This fear is forbidding me from sleeping
                   suffocating me
                   preventing me from thinking clearly
                                                      bre­athing properly
                   causing my thoughts to scatter
                                                         ­   become irrational
                                                      ­                    incoherent
                   strangling my heart
I am too scared to sleep because I might dream
about you, or rather a lack thereof
                                   a world in which you don't care
                                                            ­    you don't exist
                                   a time in which I am not on your mind
                                                            ­                  in your heart
This fear is too much for me to bear tonight
                                                     sort through in my mind
I can't quite explain why I am feeling this way
                                           I seem to need you so much
                                                            ­        your hand in mine
                                                            ­                 heart for life
                                           I need you to hear this
                                                            ­      understand me
One thing that I know for certain is that
I need for you to let me know how you truly feel about me
                                                   where we're going to go from here
                                                   what is going on with you
                                                             ­                   with me
                                                              ­                  between us
                                                   if you want me to leave you alone
                                                           ­                       let you go
                                                              ­                    give up hope
This fear is keeping me awake.
So I wrote this one night when I simply could not think straight...the structure kind of developed on its own and I think I like how it turned out. Let me know what you think.
Melanie Beth Oct 2011
The soft whirring of the heater
keeps my breathing steady
just long enough
for me to close my eyes
and fight back the tears.
But it's not enough
to reassure me of much,
aside from the fact
that my skin is warm
and I am alive.
For it cannot calm my heart
or quell my fears.
It will not provide answers
to the questions burning
inside of my throat.
Where are you?

The armrest holding my head up
is uncomfortable at best;
it is a nagging reminder
of all that is amiss.
I turn over and back
trying to make it right
but it still hurts.
My gaze is downcast,
fixed upon an object
so prone to destruction
that it's a wonder
I've kept it around.
Double checking myself
brings not relief
but disappointment;
not in you, but in me.

The phone that sits beside me
is endlessly mocking;
I clench it tightly
in a fist of frustration,
willing it to respond.
Not only is it lifeless
but it drains me
of what life is left
within my broken heart.
I catch myself
hoping you're okay;
then I face reality
and admit to myself
that this is the end.
Will you return?
There is no answer.
Melanie Beth Oct 2011
The instant you see it, you know it
And your gaze freezes upon it
Precious seconds are squandered away
While you're busy hoping it doesn't fade

And in that moment you've made a choice
Or more precisely, an unconscious decision
To be so wrapped up in its existence
Rather than to lower your resistance

Once it goes, and believe me it will
You're left with nothing but a starry sky
Eyes transfixed upon an empty space
The result of what the night did erase

Maybe you kick yourself for it
Or maybe the shock hasn't yet faded
But eventually you'll know what you've lost
And you'll count up its complete cost

You could have had it all, you realize
One wish with certainty to be granted
Now all that has visited your daydreams
Dies away amidst your silent screams

You've let it slip through your fingers
Perfection in its purest of forms
A thing so simple yet so incredibly rare
You try to hold what is no longer there

And on this night you cannot sleep
Your arms are empty and heart is hollow
Alone you toss and turn with your regret
The shooting star you cannot forget
Melanie Beth Oct 2011
Restless and forsaken
Fingertips shaking and heart racing
Her head is not at home on her own pillow
It is simply too empty without him

Alone she tosses and turns
Doubling back to revist her regret
While trying to move forward all the same
Yet nothing will ever be as before

It was a simple summer setting
Nighttime rain the product of an overcast day
She drove home alone with tears to rival it
But no thunder cloud was as black as her heart

Breaths become gasps
The heart inside her must belong to another
For she left her own with the boy of her dreams
Left it with him and then left without him

To this day she cannot cope
The memory haunts her and will not relent
She is lost along a path she has never known
Footsteps follow her wherever she goes

Truth cuts to her core
As she tries to deny its presence
Finding a dozen reasons not to love him
Is not enough to justify the lies

She sifts through her thoughts
Trying to tell herself he is not perfect
Remembering the times he has inflicted pain
But the truth remains she is guilty of more
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