"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

I like the bitterness in my black coffee
I like the singe in my cigarette

And I fall in love with the pain you cause me
the roughness in your words
The bitterness in your black soul
the singe that burns on the tip of your lips

I'm addicted to the bad in good things ..

Nothing stays forever and I'm sick and tired of putting so much effort in trying to weaver our emotions into connections so I can wear our relationship happily knowing that it will get old and it will get cut and it will smell and I won't want to wear it any more.

and now whenever I'm high all I can see is the fall

I can see you becomig busy with others while I find myself some others because I'll be the one you talk to others about saying " ahh l don't feel like doing the effort to hang with her " that is if you still remember me by then .

nothing stays forever

I expect that you won't like me , like I won't like you forever. I expect life to take you away and for me and you to stray but not together.

Because

nothing stays forever

It's so sad that nothing stays forever , but I can't change it , you can't change it , we must understand the reason behind it.
But at the moment I'm just swamped in a pool of feelings behind it.
Reason and logic are upstairs in the lobby drinking some tea it's hot and I like swimming so I don't see myself going to meet them anytime soon I might just drown in this pool.
And never meet my reason and logic .

funny thing is you walk around my pool but you're never in it .
And I'm weaving in a pool and the strings are getting wet and its soo hard and your not helping your just there tanning chilling and the world does not revolve around us.

Agh these thoughts are killing ...

But I'm going down this road whether it's fast or slow we are ganna go .
And I don't even know anymore

The concrete sparkles, as the light of passing cars creates constellation in my soul.

The wind sways on my skin, and it's melody keeps me company .

flashes of your smile echo in my head, and I don't know what I love more you or the memories  of  you on nights like this .

I contemplated driving to your house and crashing through the window on your front lawn, the one that we gazed through while we were tangled up in your sheets and thinking about how insignificant we were in such a complex world

I dialed your number and deleted the digits over and over and over again when all I wanted was to gently press call and scream profanities at you at the top of my lungs despite the fact I knew you wouldn't have picked up your end of the line
I should’ve just left a voice mail

I wanted to claw through your skin and break your bones and tear your heart out of your rib cage so you would have just a minuscule understanding of how it feels to be without you
I can’t let go, I hate you, I love you, please call me, lets never speak again


It was never my choice to love you