Crimson colour shined in his eyes,
Tip tap, the voices he heard.
And in no time the knife fell from the right hand.
And in no time the pulse escaped from the left hand.


                                         -Thoughts
                                        Mehar Bawa

And all of a sudden  those colorful t-shirts don't make sense at all.
Those party dresses seem like a waste of cloth.
Black is what I like.
Black is what makes sense.
Because now that I know the real you,
Black is all I can see.
Black is all I can hear.

It's not the wounds that are bleeding but the heart.

And those teeth became more visible as she just smiled looking at herself in the mirror.
Blood in her hands.
Blood on the floor.
Red all around.
Silence had captured within it,all the sound.

She knew it was wrong but she wanted to do it anyway!
And she did it,The knife in,the knife out,and yet again,the knife in the knife out.

A part of her didn't know which hurt more,being alive or being dead!
Because the pain before killing her was equivalent to the pain after killing her.
For all she knew was her inside was dark as hell.

She had killed her own daughter before they could **** her.
She knew she had been fed with slow killing poison which she didn't want for her angel.

The girl child is a curse said the cruel world!
The minds of these people are curled.


The stories of her past to no one she could tell!
Going back to the times when the smile was not by the demons but by the angels was not something she could do.
For all she knew was her thoughts were too powerful yet she was too powerless.
She wanted to bring a change.
But she gave up too soon.
Who said her inside was dark,
It was indeed the only beautiful place in the living hell.
The world is just the doom.

Save the girl child the heavens cried.
The world became better for at least someone tried!

You always run away when you see me.
Why do you fear me?
I'm the one who was with you when pitch dark poetry had conqouered your mind.
I was there when silence screamed in your ears.
I am with you,now,But but but! You won't let me touch you.
Little do you know my little girl I've always been there when blood drops fell on the bathroom floor.
Little do you know my girl!
Little do you know!
And little do you know that I've fallen for you-I CRAVE YOU!
And tonight I'm going to take you away.
Far away.
-Death

Blood all around,
In her own blood she had drowned.
Thrashed,Slammed,Pushed away,
Her body had shown her soul a way out.

Silence so loud,she could hear no more.
Silence grabbed her and her body it tore.


Swallowing deep she muttered some words
For help she was trying to call some birds.
No humans could she call.
For none were left; for her, who would fall.

In her last breath she looked at all the cuts,bruises,wounds,scars she had fed herself with,
All of which had been signs of battles she had lost from herself.

You know it's killing you deep inside.
Even when there's someone beside
It's getting into your mind
And no solution can you find
Your thoughts become your enemy
Your thoughts can change your destiny.
But it's better to change the thought rather than the destiny.

Your mind is your master
The thought comes after
You just have to change the thought
And that's when you're sort.
Never give up,never lose hope
Don't give up just yet,you might find some scope.
If you have the will,you will.
Because it's all in the mind,it's all in the mind.

People will call you useless
People will pull you down
For all they say is meaningless
You don't have to lose your crown

Don't lose your hope don't lose your soul
You'll always be different by birth
All you've to do is just know your worth!

Hold your head high and stand straight on your feet
Honey don't you forget it's only the white crayon that works on the black sheet.

It's the dirt which is in their mind
You just have to be your kind
If you pass through and complete the test.
You'll surely leave behind the rest

Don't lose your hope don't lose your soul
You'll always be different by birth
All you've to do is just know your worth.

And I knew this girl,
She straightened, she curled
Just to meet up the idea of beauty
To impress others she felt it was her duty.

She was fat and chubby,
Nevertheless she was always called grubby.
She never fit their idea of beauty
Ha! How she thought it was her duty!

Size zero was something she wanted but never got.
And so all they did was leave her to rot!
She hated herself for the way she looked.
But who knew, deep inside real beauty she cooked.


Her beauty was inevitable
But how the world saw her was terrible.
So what if she never fit their idea of beauty?
Little did she know,it was never her duty!

And when I look into the mirror she looks away
I've lost her,I lost her when I was silent,
I lost her when they made me the prey
She left me and I started caring no more.
Maybe I don't even know her any more


She was the girl who cared for everyone
The heaven lost,the devil won.
I can't drown my demons they know how to swim.
Her demons, how did she even trim?


Without her I'm dead but I'm alive.
I probably lost half of her when I was just five.
Where is she? Where is the real me?
My eyes are blind I just can't see.


I remember there was nothing that made her fear.
They used her like a paper and made a tear.
I can't find her but I want her back.
Ha! The real me? They threw her out in a sack!

She was sitting by the window and looking out.
Dark thoughts haunted her but never came out her mouth.
Instead they rolled down her cheek like pearls
She could see the future of her life in curls.

The world called her stupid and nobody saw her talent.
When she decided to speak they told her to be silent.
She wanted to spread her wings and fly
But every time she tried,they made  her cry.


She often asked herself,does she live or just survive?
Why did she need anyone to tell her she was alive?
She hid her sadness behind that smile.
In the end she wrote 'I quit' on that tile.


She was beautiful both inside out
When the world told her to be silent she should have made a shout
She feared the world,not death
Don't give up just yet,take one last breath?

Nobody remembered her nobody wished to see her again.
They said 'life goes on,why be in pain?'
The world was cruel,the world is cruel.
Or maybe they're just all fools.

It's 2am and her mind wanders.
She thinks about the things she could have done.
The words said wrong.
The battles she could have won.

She goes back and relives those moments.
Moments when she was miserable
Moments that made her smile
She pens them down and tears wipe the ink away.

She thinks of the people who left her
The people who never stayed.
The people who used her like a tissue
The people who threw her out of their way

It's 3am and her mind still wanders
She thinks if the people whom she holds close to her heart are actually close.
She thinks if anybody cares.
She thinks if people know the real her.
And all she can think of is big no.

She thinks of the tears shed.
Her skin with cuts she fed.
Her memory is indeed her greatest enemy.

Those days were so hot
And I remember we had never fought.
Both of you were my best friends forever
I should've known forever lasts never.

Then came September
We fought so much,remember?
When I apologised for no mistake you said drama done?
Since that day I've never seen the sun.

You said my voice irritated you to death
That's the day I should've known it was our last breath.
I still tried and we again became friends
But that friendship was hollow and this is how it ends

I might be okay but I'm not fine at all
Why does it seem I'm at the other end of the wall?
I know the magic is lost, lost between the silence
You said there was reliance in our alliance when there was only defiance.

You seem to be happy,happy with him
You now tell false stories to 'em
My mother once told me friendship doesn't last
Only now I know she was right when my eyes blast.

I considered that summer to be the best days,
How couldn't I feel the hot summer rays?
You gave me a nickname and called me hamster
Tears come to my eyes remembering the last semester.

You're both good actors after all
I was the one who had to pay all the toll
When I got upset you never ringed the phone
I guess all you wanted was me to moan

Summer'13 you were so rude
You ruined me and my mood
I curse you and I'm glad you're gone
I wish you never were on.

Then came evil October and matter became worse
I wonder which witch spell her curse?
I made new friends because I had no choice
Ah,I still remember you said you hated my voice.

You said you don't care,no more
That day yo made me cry so more
You trusted the boy who was seeking revenge
I know he's the one who fed you with hatred through syringe

Those words those lines hurt me, hurt me deep inside
I bet all the memories are going to forever reside
To be honest, I want you back in my life
But then I just can't forgive you for I don't want to be again stabbed with a knife.

I had so many plans,so many dreams
But well life isn't like it always seems
I hope both of you have a happy life ahead
Ha!best friends forever,I remember you said.

The devil?
No
The
Devil is
Not
In me
It's
In your
Eyes
In the
Way
You
See.

Now I know something I didn't before
It hurts my ears like a lion's roar
You were the one who was my bestfriend
I still can't believe that this is how our friendship ends

Friends forever you said that day
Just tell me d'you actually mean what you say?

I gave you my love,my heart to lend
Yes,I mean it when I call you a terrible friend
You let me know what forever means
I still remember all those scenes

Now you talk about me all the time
Wasn't all that hurting enough lime?
I added sugar till our friendship saturated
Ha! You always loved the one I hated

So today you come to me begging for my forgiveness and me
Just like I always wanted it to be
But I'm so sorry,now you can't be a part of my friendship tree

Till yesterday I was the one trying to mend
But today I want this friendship to end
For I can't risk another goodbye
I don't want to hear another lie.

Friends forever you said that day
Just tell me d'you actually mean what you say?