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3.7k · Nov 2013
Disappointment
Megan McCormick Nov 2013
You were supposed to be the one.
The one little girls dream of,
My ******* Prince Charming.
I wasn't scared
So my guard was down and
I let you in
Even though I shouldn't have.
Lucky me, you turned out to be
One more disappointment.
2.1k · Jun 2013
Sleep Deprived Thoughts
Megan McCormick Jun 2013
I'm not yet awake,
Not fully anyway,
And the thoughts prancing through my
Sleep deprived mind
Are only of you.
So maybe I'm not as over you
As I tried to force myself to believe,
Or maybe I was,
Until I remembered what it was like
Kissing you,
Or how much I enjoyed
Talking to you.
I seemed to have forgotten
How alike we are,
And now I just want to see you.
But I understand, that's not going to happen.
Maybe it's only my sleep deprivation,
Or maybe I just knew it all along,
But I miss you.
1.9k · Jun 2013
Please Stop Ignoring Me
Megan McCormick Jun 2013
I just really wish you wouldn't ignore me
Because I don't know what I did wrong.
You should know me well enough
To recognize a cry for help.
1.5k · May 2013
Redundancy
Megan McCormick May 2013
The dark rose
Blooms tomorrow,
Never to be seen by day.
The scared coward
Faces courage,
Never to be seen again.
1.4k · Apr 2013
Dueling Partners
Megan McCormick Apr 2013
If our lives were like a dueling match, we would be the perfect partners. You can deflect every move I make. We'd be dancing th same dance, always, and neither of us would win.
1.2k · Mar 2013
Dear Grandpa
Megan McCormick Mar 2013
Have I always been a disappointment to you,
As you watch down on me from heaven,
If there even is a heaven to begin with?
Did you cringe at every wrong decision I made,
Every step away from your god I ever took?
I wonder if you cry for me,
If you wish I would change.

I'm not sure if you know,
But some nights I cry over you.
I think how I'm never going to see you again,
How you'll never hold me in your arms.
I miss you, more than anything in the world,
But now you're dead,
As you've been for seven years,
And I'll never get to watch Spongebob with you again.
I'll never get to eat your fried fish,
Or go fishing with you, ever again.
I hope, if there is a heaven, that you're happy.
I hope that some day everyone else can join you there,
And I'm sorry I won't be able to.

Now all I have is my memories,
And even those are fading.
I barely remember anything,
Only your last few months,
And when you went to the hospital.
They wouldn't let me see you,
I was too young.
So I sat in the waiting room
While you were slowly taken away from me.
Now I'll say what I was never allowed to say,
Goodbye.
1.2k · Mar 2013
I'm Not Horrible, Am I?
Megan McCormick Mar 2013
Tales of woe of a simple girl,
Who may not be so simple,
Though her problems certainly are.
Problem one:
A tall blonde,
Strong and secure and safe,
Who makes my heart race.
Problem two:
An Italian,
Goofy and dorky and the best friend I could have,
With a "girlfriend", though she doesn't want labels.
Problem three:
The boyfriend,
Sarcastic and perfect and exactly like me,
Who I just don't seem to care as much about anymore.
Problem four:
The best friend,
Who's been with me through thick and thin,
Who's the love of my life, and who is confused about his sexuality.
Problem five:
My own confusion,
Over sexuality,
Over love, over life.
Problem six:
Commitment issues
I never knew I had,
I always suspected I had.
Problem seven:
My depression that deepens with every heartbreak,
Every moment of happiness,
Every single moment of my ever-confusing life.
986 · Mar 2013
-Insert Clever Title-
Megan McCormick Mar 2013
We've changed so much
Since only last year.
We can't talk anymore,
Not without awkwardness,
Generally caused by me.
I miss my best friend,
But he's barely there,
You've managed to hide him from me.
978 · Mar 2013
My Heroin
Megan McCormick Mar 2013
The writers and the reporters,
In all their interviews,
They never tell you the one flaw in writing.
They never mention that writing is like a drug,
How you can get addicted,
How you'll always want to play god.
They skip right over how hard it is,
To deal with pain,
When you're so used to changing anything
With the stroke of a pen,
Or the pressing of a key.

Writing is my drug.
I don't understand how to deal with loss.
Whenever something happens, my first thought is:
"Oh, it's okay. I can change this."
Then I remember,
This is reality.
I am not god.
I am not a hero.
No matter how much I want to,
I cannot save the world.
943 · Apr 2013
A Word on Divorces
Megan McCormick Apr 2013
"Divorce isn't hereditary."*
It's quite funny, you say that, actually,
Seeing as it seems to be in my family.
For a matter of fact,
It seems to be in many families.
Yes, technically speaking,
Divorce is not a hereditary disease,
But for all intents and purposes,
It can be hereditary.
Not because it's something you can catch,
But because the children grow up
And they think this is the way love is.
And they look around them,
Their friends all have divorced parents too,
So their thoughts are enforced.
It's a little funny,
Everyone is so obsessed with true love,
When it doesn't seem to really exist anymore.
At least not here.
Megan McCormick Jun 2013
I don't want to feel this way about you
But for some reason I do.
Maybe it's just because I've shared
So much of myself with you,
But I can't help thinking that I want you back.
I know it's just wishful thinking,
And it's never going to happen,
But you were perfect for me,
I just ******* everything up like I always do.
Megan McCormick Mar 2013
My depression has stages, as everyone's does,
First is the need to cling to someone,
The need for human touch,
For a hug, a pat on the shoulder, an arm around me.
Next is the claustrophobia,
The cringing whenever someone touches me,
Especially someone close.
Finally is the exhaustion,
The need to sleep for eternity,
Feeling like a dragon, wishing to sleep for centuries.
Then it's over, I'm content, even happy,
But only for a little while until the stages start again.
915 · Dec 2013
That Tiny Devil
Megan McCormick Dec 2013
That tiny devil whispers to me,
"Come on, darling, let them run free!"
He sits on my shoulder and purrs in my ear,
"Baby, baby, you don't need to fear.
I won't hurt you, trust and see,"
This is what he says to me.
Day after day he cries out my name
Pleading with me not to feel shame.
"These deeds are not sins," he whispers with glee,
"These deeds will release you, like a bird on a tree."
Megan McCormick Mar 2013
I could tell you my stories of "love",
How they all ended up to be tales of woe,
But who am I to understand love
When I am so woefully inexperienced?

In my years of people-watching,
An art in which I am skilled,
And my years of movies, tv shows, and books,
My rather imaginative mind has fit together
An image of my definition of love.

Love is that first feeling of butterflies
When you see him for the very first time.
It's how that feeling stays there whenever you see him.
It's the blood rushing to your face when you talk to him,
The rapid beating of your heart.
It's your first kiss,
And all your kisses after,
That send tingles through your nerves
And linger on your lips afterwards.
It's when he meets your parents,
The nervousness and anxiety you feel.
The first fight, and how you make up afterwards.
It's the fights that follow,
But still you stay together.
It's the feeling you get when you're standing next to him at the altar,
How no one else present is important,
And it's only you and him.
It's that moment when you hold your newborn
And he's looking down at you with tears in his eyes.
It's the sickening sensation at your child's high school graduation,
And you know soon it'll be just you and him,
Like it used to be,
But you're not ready for it.
Love is how ever when the passion fades,
Your love still steadily burns.
Love is the end of your life,
And looking back,
Through all the fights and the heartbreaks,
Through everything he may have done,
Or you may have done,
You wouldn't have had it any other way.
869 · Jun 2013
Drowning
Megan McCormick Jun 2013
I feel like I'm choking,
Like something is squeezing my lungs,
I can't breathe and I'm drowning,
Drowning fast.
I don't want to go back there,
Please don't make me go.
737 · Mar 2014
Fashionable Tragedies
Megan McCormick Mar 2014
They were so beautiful,
they were so loved.
No, they were sad
and they were told,
Look, it's okay. You'll
be loved,
be noticed.
You'll be at peace.
You'll get what you want.*
They were fed *******,
taught to give up,
because society likes the pain.
Megan McCormick Mar 2013
Why do my eyes remain dry as my world crumbles to bits?
Because I hate crying,
Because it's easier not to feel,
Because I've built up too many shields.
So, I rarely let that side show,
I hardly show my pain,
At least in that way.
If you knew me well enough you could see my pain clearly visible
In the expression on my face,
Or the irritation that I show,
Or the amount of people I think about killing.

I hate that I don't cry.
I hate that I can think about my grandfather dying of cancer
And never shed a tear.
But I also hate that I can cry
I hate the feeling that I'm choking whenever a sob fills my throat
And tears fill my eyes.

I don't think I can change this.
I've hidden myself away behind too many locked doors
And thrown away all the keys.
My heart of ice may never thaw, at least not completely.
But then again, maybe I can change this.
Maybe it's subconscious and I'm doing it right now.
Perhaps I'm just done with all the bottled up pain
And now I'm finally letting it go.
Whatever the case may be,
I'd rather just not feel.
I'd rather things didn't affect me,
But this is the curse of mankind
And no matter how much I say otherwise,
I am and will always be human.
693 · Apr 2013
Self-Inflicted Torture
Megan McCormick Apr 2013
I don't know why I insist on doing this,
Why I keep torturing myself
Day in and day out.

I found the poem you wrote me.
I carry it in my backpack,
Not really the best place,
I know.

I don't cry anymore. I mean,
No tears leave my eyes.
I sob until I fall asleep, though.
Some nights.
Megan McCormick May 2013
I comfort you,
You comfort me
Is this the way we're destined to be?
Is there no day when
I won't need you or
You won't need me?
But wait...
You shy away from unwanted conversations.
I think you stopped needing me awhile ago,
If you ever needed me
To begin with.
Welp, now it's just me.
682 · Apr 2013
On the Peak
Megan McCormick Apr 2013
At the top of the rollarcoaster,
Dreading the steep drop,
Knowing another climb is coming
But I hate the gut wrenching feeling
Like I'm falling and I can't stop.
635 · Mar 2013
So Now You're Done?
Megan McCormick Mar 2013
For twelve years you've been around,
You've helped so many lives, including mine.
Now you're done, and we're all heartbroken,
This is what you leave behind.
It may be wrong to put so much faith
In just one silly band,
But to hundreds, maybe thousands of lives,
You were their saving grace.
I'll  never forget my first concert,
Where you played all of about 8 songs.
I'm only one fan, and I'm not too important,
But I really just wanted to say:
Thank you for doing all that you did,
Thank you for being inspiring.
Thank you so much for the examples you've set,
And what I really wanted to say was,
So long, and goodnight,
Because I'm just incredibly cliche like that.
My farewell to My Chemical Romance.
626 · Apr 2013
I Will Be Heard
Megan McCormick Apr 2013
I could tell you that the world is perfect,
That nothing needs to change,
That everything is rainbows and unicorns and flowers.
This would be a lie.
This is a dog eats dog world.
Brother is turned against brother,
Sister against sister,
Friend against friend.
This world of war and pain,
This isn't the world it should be.
America is based on lies people chose to believe
Because they can't handle the truth.
The politicians are criminals
And laws are based on hate,
Hate that trickles down from City Halls,
To school hallways,
To the minds of teenagers and children.
Is this what parents want?
Children to be taught to hate?
I can see a better world,
Where religions and races can live in harmony.
This world is enough to make anyone wish to die,
But I still live because one day,
I will be heard.
One day,
Everything I stand for will come true.
I may die before this happens,
But it's a cause worth dying for.
A poem I wrote for a poetry contest, sort of based off of other poems I've written.
588 · Apr 2013
Knives and Self-Loathing
Megan McCormick Apr 2013
So many things were happening,
I never took the time to think
Just how much you hurt me.
I didn't realize it until now,
But you broke my heart.
Well, broke it even more.
Now every time I see you is like a knife
Right in my chest.

I guess I still love you,
Or at the very least care for you.
Every time you make those off-hand remarks,
The remarks that hint at your self-loathing,
It drives the knife a little deeper.
I can't talk to you anymore.
I can't tell you any of this, either.
542 · Jun 2013
Goodbye
Megan McCormick Jun 2013
It's a little funny,
Of all the people I've said it to,
I've only meant it for two people,
And you're the second one.
I don't look back and cringe,
Like I usually do.
I look back and I smile,
Even though our relationship was pretty bad.
But it was good, it made me happy,
And I hope it made you happy.
I guess you'll never know this,
Since you've seemed to fall off the planet,
But I really did love you,
And I still do,
But I'm not upset about it.
You're just a good memory now,
And I don't want you back.
This is my goodbye,
It was great knowing you,
Brian.
536 · Apr 2013
Untitled
Megan McCormick Apr 2013
I sound like a broken record,
How many times will I say it?
How many people will ask?
I needed a release,
I needed a release,
I needed a release.
Nobody understands,
Always the questions:
"Why did you do it?"
"What did he do?"
Always the judgement:
"*****."
"Murderer."
"Gold digger."
"*****."
The rumors, oh how they fly:
"She cheated... He found out."
"She wanted his money."
"She's insane."
They don't know
How long it took me to pick it up,
Point it at his head,
Pull the ****** trigger.
His blood on my hands for a change.
See, people never knew
His abusive side.
But I did.
My stitches,
Bruises,
And broken bones are all the proof I need.
Now I'm free,
Free to do as I please,
Free until the day I die.
Then, they tell me:
Jail,
Life sentence.
Where's my fair trial?
My jury?
My judge?
Welcome to America,
Land of the eternally ******.
An old poem of mine I found recently.
525 · Aug 2013
Insomnia
Megan McCormick Aug 2013
Contrary to popular belief,
It's not just the inability to sleep.
Insomnia is that feeling of wanting to cry,
The hungry depression,
The blackness overwhelming your cold heart.
It's all the thoughts you refused to think
When you were fully conscious.
Above all else it's an empty, lonely feeling
That one should avoid at all costs,
If such a thing were possible.
520 · Jan 2014
Pretty Smiles
Megan McCormick Jan 2014
She's got a pretty smile
But her eyes don't match,
Because her trust's a little broken
And her heart's a little snapped.
Megan McCormick May 2013
Random nonsense makes me cry
Full moon in your twinkling eye
Laughter laughter
Boredom boredom
Close your eyes
Rest your head
Go to bed
Goodnight.
No idea what was going through my head when I wrote this.
501 · Jun 2013
Confusion
Megan McCormick Jun 2013
Wait
This is wrong
I shouldn't be here, I should be long gone.
And I know that everything's fine
But my mind is just twisting my life.
And I feel like
I'm standing on the edge
And I'm just about to fall.
496 · Mar 2013
Jealousy of a Friend
Megan McCormick Mar 2013
I believe that she is very much like me,
Though I do not really know her.
I consider her a friend but I only know her through older siblings.
I know she has a dark side,
A trait that we share,
But everyone has a dark side.
I feel that I share her pains,
Though to be honest I'm too young to know heartbreak,
Though I feel my heart breaking all the time.
I think she may not be too different,
So I can't really be jealous of her,
Especially over something as silly as him.
But I don't want her to hurt him,
I don't want her to hurt either.
I guess for now I should just
Hide my confused thoughts,
Ignore them, see how she acts.
But can I do that,
Without my feelings taking over?
494 · Dec 2013
Helplessness
Megan McCormick Dec 2013
What are you supposed to say,
How are you supposed to talk,
When the world stops listening?
488 · Apr 2014
Goodbye
Megan McCormick Apr 2014
I've been saying Goodbye a lot lately;
Goodbye to the boyfriend
who I thought I truly loved,
Goodbye to the love of my life
because last time I never really said it,
Goodbye to my grandpa
who I never got to say Goodbye to.
482 · Mar 2013
Wishes
Megan McCormick Mar 2013
Wishing that you stop hurting,
Wishing that your pain would go away.
Wishing that I knew what I wanted,
That all my problems would go away.
I wish that someone could stop this madness,
I wish that someone could see.
What's the point of wishing
If what you wish for never comes true?
459 · May 2013
What I Really Want
Megan McCormick May 2013
You know what I really want?
More than anything
Right here, in this moment?
I want you to call me
Text me
Email me
Message me on facebook,
Whatever you want,
But I want you to get in touch with me,
Maybe not today,
Maybe not tomorrow,
Maybe in ten years,
And when you do
I want you to admit to me
Just how much I meant to you,
How much our breakup was the biggest mistake
Of your life.
And I want you to tell me this,
Crying the entire time,
Then I want to be able to calm you down
And tell you three simple words:
*"I. Don't. Care"
449 · Jun 2013
Healing
Megan McCormick Jun 2013
It's not all that complicated.
Really, it's a part of the healing process.
I was in a dark place,
Now I'm not there, that's progress.
I may have added a few more scars,
I know that's a big deal,
But I promise you I'll be fine,
All of my scars will heal.
I can't promise you I'll stop,
That's just not in my power.
So just let the matter drop.
Only time can tell
How I get over this rough patch,
You can't just ring a little bell
And expect me to leave it all behind.
442 · Mar 2013
The Same
Megan McCormick Mar 2013
I'm sitting on a swing set,
Barely able to type,
As the memories come flooding back.
Feeling nostalgic, I sit in quiet self-pity,
Remembering my days of innocence.

I'm sure everyone has these moments
So really I'm not all that different.
The difference is my memories,
The faces of friends and the swing set I used to call
My own.
The laughter of children is the same,
The atmosphere of mindless joy is the same,
And the gut wrenching feeling of flying
Is completely and utterly
The same.
441 · May 2013
Reading Class
Megan McCormick May 2013
A teardrop in the rain
The magic whisper to a friend
Only some moon tonight
Drank sweet, sunny sleep
So before my dream
Old pool ride here tonight
If our dance soon does go
Her true love was near you.
Written as a word puzzle poem in my reading class a long time ago.
438 · Jul 2013
For Him
Megan McCormick Jul 2013
Dear perfect person,
You know who you are,
I have a poem for you.

Your face is perfect,
And I hate it.
Your body is perfect,
And I hate it.
Your personality is perfect,
And I hate it.
You are perfect,
And I hate it.
435 · Mar 2013
Another Love Poem
Megan McCormick Mar 2013
Hearts beating close together, separated only by flesh.
He stares at her, he's speechless, he can hardly believe his eyes.
She's perfect, she's all he ever wanted, and she finally agreed.
She said yes, she said yes, she said yes.

Fifteen years pass, no one would recognize them anymore.
He is distant, cold, secluded in his thoughts,
She is never home.
Look into their past and a story unwinds,
One of betrayal and heartbreak.
As her line of lovers grew ever longer,
His collection of empty bottles expanded.
He never left her, she never left him,
But always the hateful words flew.
Their love that once burned brighter than the stars
Glows dimly like the dying embers of a flame.
What could have happened in such short time
To change a love so pure?

Now he sits in his chair, where he always is,
Awaiting his beloved to return from the latest motel room.
His vision is blurry and he can hardly think
As he throws the next bottle to the floor.
He turns his head slowly, and there on the table,
The medications no one ever took.
He lifts his hand slowly, screws open the lid,
Swallows the pills one by one.
He washes them down with the last of his Guiness,
Then sits back and waits for the end.

She comes home, a quarter to two, smelling of stale smoke.
She walks right past him, doesn't even flinch,
Picks up the phone and makes the call.
The ambulance arrives,
She doesn't even cry,
She packs up her things as they leave.
Open the car door, drive away until the sun rises,
Drive farther still.
Arrive in California to start a new life,
Leaving everything, including her memories, behind.
419 · Jul 2013
What you should've done
Megan McCormick Jul 2013
I was distant
You should've pulled me closer,
Made me feel loved.
You could've saved me,
You could've held me in your arms
And scared away my demons.
You could've comforted me,
Taken care of me,
Anything but break my heart.
417 · May 2013
Internal Conflicts
Megan McCormick May 2013
Let's count how many tears I shed
And we'll mark it with little red notches

Let's see how long this happiness lasts,
We'll count the hours in kisses.

Let's not do this again,
Please, no, I don't want to.

*Too bad,
Here it comes again,
On your mark,
Get set,
Go.
Megan McCormick Mar 2013
I turned you gay,
That's how I see it.
(I know that you've always been,
But I made you stray towards men.)
You laughed when I told you,
And I laughed too
Because you were laughing
And I love it when you laugh.
You said she thought she turned you gay,
Then we both laughed again.
I said, No, because you were never
Really in love
With her.

We laughed at your luck with girls since us,
We never mentioned my luck with boys.
I never said how my relationships
Haven't lasted,
Mainly because of you.

Oh well, you're with him now,
Isn't that how it always ends?
I hope your happy with him,
And maybe someday I'll be over you.
410 · Apr 2013
Look At Me Now
Megan McCormick Apr 2013
It's been a year since that day,
To be exact,
It's been a year and two days.
Only 367 days since that day,
The day that you broke my heart,
For the first time?
The second?
It's happened so many times,
It seems I've lost track.
Well look at me now,
I'm pathetic,
I'm a wreck.
What did you do to me?
Why am I so drawn to you,
Why can't I ever shake you?
When will this all be over?
The problem is:
I don't think it will ever be over.
I don't think I can ever stop
Loving you.
409 · Apr 2013
Hurray for Score-Breakers
Megan McCormick Apr 2013
Oh god, oh god.
I did it again.
But it's only just this once,
Right?
Megan McCormick Apr 2013
Isn't it funny how these things happen?
Seven years ago today,
I lost a grandpa,
And now today I lose another.
393 · May 2013
Automatic Responses
Megan McCormick May 2013
Because I'm a little too tired
To care about your new boy.
So I'll say I'm glad
But really I'm just numb.
I'm sorry.
386 · May 2013
Why don't you see?
Megan McCormick May 2013
Why don't you see
What you do to me?
Why don't you see
My undying love?
My need for you?
My pain that you cause?
Why don't you see
That I love you?
383 · Apr 2013
Another Farewell
Megan McCormick Apr 2013
I understand that everyone dies,
I just wish it wouldn't hurt so much.
So now I say goodbye,
Goodbye to a grandfather I barely knew,
But still loved all the same.
Goodbye to that cheerful man,
The man I knew before the disease
Claimed your mind.

I don't know if you're in heaven,
Or just dead here on this earth,
But whatever the case may be,
After many long years,
And many struggles,
You are truly at peace.

We will always love you,
We will always miss you,
We will always remember you.
R.I.P. Beba, I wish I could have known you better before you were taken from us.
379 · Jul 2013
In All Honesty
Megan McCormick Jul 2013
You make me want to laugh,
And you make me want to cry.
You make me want to live,
You make me want to die.
You build up my hopes
Only to crush them again,
I'm constantly falling for you,
Tell me, what do you gain?
374 · Apr 2013
I need...
Megan McCormick Apr 2013
I need...
What do I need?
I need a doctor.
Who am I kidding, a doctor won't help.
A doctor wants my money,
That's all they ever want.
I need a friend.
Oh wait, I have a bunch of those.
I need...
I need this to stop.
Wait, what is this to begin with?
I need a new story,
But that'll just depress me more.
What do I need,
What do I need,
What do I need?
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