You wish you could fly away
On the wings of a dragon
To a happier land
Escaping the pain of adolescence

But broken people
Receive no respite
From the damage suffered
Every moment

i know that i'm privileged
and in the grand scheme of things i have no reason to be depressed
but my calls for help go unanswered
and i'm just so lonely i could die

life used to be so simple
wake up in the morning, have some cereal
walk to school all excited
you got to see your friends after all
recess was such a blessing
20 minutes of fresh air, playing tag or kickball
girls had cooties so you pretended you were too cool to hangout with them
and they giggled and pointed and teased you
but that meant they liked you, and it made you smile
after school you'd play in the yard
leaping from surface to surface, cause the ground was lava, and you couldn't fall
joy was so easy to come by
hardship was a runny nose, or wheat bread for your lunch
and the cuts on your arms were from crawling in a rose bush
chasing butterflies with a mindless passion
dinner was a time for family
you could talk about your day, spend time with dad
and after, maybe everyone would watch tv together
laughing and smiling
life was so simple back then
why'd it have to change?

now you don't wake up in the mornings
because you couldn't sleep last night
the demons didn't let you
breakfast?
you haven't had that in years; you never have the time
you still walk to school, but now its a slow, weary trudge
because you are dreading the hours you spend in a perfect hell
anxiety ridden, stress filled, insult filled torture
recess doesn't exist anymore
because when you are older, they decide you don't need it
now the guys you used to hangout with think they are too cool for you
they are off chasing girls, because that is what they;re supposed to do
and the girls? well, they still call you names
but somehow, "******" doesn't make you smile quite like "butthead" did
after school you trudge home and stare at a screen
killing time, trying to find anything to distract yourself
so you don't have to consider reality
because nowadays, the ground really is like lava
and if you walk in it wrong, all those ugly problems will rear their heads
being sick is normal; you have worse things to deal with
because dad sleeps on the couch, and mom's smiles never reach her eyes
and the cuts on your arms?
you tell people it was some rose bushes you stumbled in walking home
but in all honestly, you put them their yourself in the depths of the night
after another dinner you skipped, because being fat is a sin
and family time is gone, you spend the night alone
brooding and sobbing
a hopeless wreck, unable to find the joy you used to have
life used to be so simple
I guess all good things had to end

We dance circles around each other.

Making eye contact every now and then.

Smiling, giggling like 2 year olds.

Making flirty remarks to each other.

We promise.

We try not to fall.

But in the end one of us does.

In our little dance of love.

Usually me.

And you're  never there to catch me.

Like a good partner should.

I hit the floor.

And I hit it hard.

I pick myself up, dust myself off,

and we start the dance the dance over again.

lay me down
oh so gently
if you please
the ground beckons
send me there
a wooden box
to hold me
forever and always
as my body
fades into dust
and my soul
slowly slips out
of your memories

bury me with
books, roses, candles
that which brought
me a smile
when times took
a turn down
a harder path
the path which
led me to
my final failing
gun in mouth
finger on trigger
victim in grave

Speak to me
Save me from
The suffocating silence
Bringing overwhelming sadness
Depression and pain
Please, speak friend
Distract me from
This awful world
Where they say
Its not cool
To be gay
In the place
Where I felt
More at home
Than any other
Please friend, speak
Help me ignore
The horrible slurs
The daily torments
Found in media
Found in actions
Found in life
Speak my friend
Or I know
That surely I
Shall go insane
In a world
Where its cool
To hate a man
For being gay

He left a message
Hastily scrawled in his blood
"Do not mourn my death"