this is where i become selfish
i dont care what you want
you have it all and even more
this is where i become ruthless
i won't go down without a fight
i'm not afraid to start a war
this time.

i haven't felt this feeling in so, so long
i won't let it get away without a fight

if it's the last thing i do
i'm going to let him know
before you even get a chance to show
you went back on your decision and now
rethinking it all built walls in my mind

this is where i jumped the gun
i built it up and you shot it all down
you went back on your decision and now
i shouldn't have said anything at all

I can't let these thoughts
overwhelm me.
I can't let you back inside
but it seems the more I try
the more I fail
to rid you from my life.
I want that part of me to die
so that I might blossom
one day soon
and out of the ashes of our once love,
I seek a truer love to bloom.

I can't help myself
you make it hard
to stay away

you make it hard
to stay away
and be alone

to stay away
and be alone
kills me

I love you.

It’s all right, zombie husband.
I didn’t like the dog.
Or the twins.
Seriously, all they did was cry.
It’s like, “shut up, already”,
You know?

It's Blue
      But so are you.
Not that sad Blue/
                                Reflecting from T.V.
But that happy Blue/
                                    That with you I see.

All my life I've dreamed of Pink.
Never written/
                          I don't dream in ink.
But it was happy/
                               I always said
I wanted to be Pink when I was dead.

I’m, I don’t know-
lonely I guess. Stretched out  
warming myself in a pool of sunlight-
would just like to be held.
Not longing for
new love
or a one true love-
they’re all true enough
at the time.
No, not love.
Not now.

On a Night Like Tonight
When the body grows too weary
to hold up the emotional walls
the demons attack
memories best laid to rest
awaken with a vengeance
sent to destroy my soul

The past I cannot escape
yet I have closed myself off
I will not share this burden
the fear of reject is far too great
the fear of letting someone in
to help me heal, to help me grow
is not enough
to open the door
that leads to the darkest room
no light shines in
the blackest of blacks
a tiny piece of my soul
charred
the flame can not be reversed
the fire that consumed me
burning me alive
the unnatural need
fed by the wolves
raised by the bears

i see the moon rising
it brings out the worst in me
dawn will not break
in my apocalypse

the storm clouds gather
to weak to stop it coming
my walls have fallen
and tonight
begins again
with the all or nothing fight

haunting
hunting
killing the happiness that grows
the lies so deep
they becomes truths
for the truths are too obscene
too far from reality
they are not truths
for truths are told
they are secrets
locked deep down inside
the kind that follow
always in the shadows
we take them to the grave
which is always too shallow

and those we let in
are the trust few
the trusted one
years of refusal
to finally let it out
the weight was lessened
if only for a time
for now he is gone
and my secret remains
my deepest battle scar
that brings out my worst
the world full of hurt
as the demons take control

I should have know better
but in youth
what do we really know
a trust so deep
the lies never showed
a wrong painted as right
a tiny soul was tainted
a tiny heart was broken
as a different side emerges
the trauma never fades
even in time
it lurks under the surface
waiting
for a night like tonight