you don't need me anymore

Even as my last professor on a Friday says, "have a good weekend" & I am sharply reminded that I will work doubles all weekend long to pay rent on a life that I don't want,
I love you
And when my friends from high school call my dad for legal advice, making it painfully obvious that they never got better,
I still love you
And later in the night when I am drinking myself to sleep & wondering indefinitely if I too, never got better,
I ******* love you
And when I am driving to North Philly at three in the morning because my sister is breaking and I don't want her to break alone,
Well, I love you then, too
And when I pull over on 6-11, the next morning, with my head in my hands and scream "I ******* hate everyone", I just want you to know that you're the only one who makes a liar out of me

(i am tired of being
the part of your song that
cannot be finished)

      -- my hands get cold
      quickly, so take them please,
      tell me you'll love me
      for one more night and
      i'll ******* like i
      believe it,
      i'll do you a favor and
      pretend it never happened
      come morning if you
      pretend that you need me
      for now--

will you not write me
down because you're scared,
or because you don't
know how?