I will never stop
searching for you
in other people
and I swear you
are in every quiet
song, in each stitch
of my favorite
sweater, in the rain
puddle outside my
front door, and I
hear your laughter
rolling above in the
thunder. I will
always love you.

how can i still love someone
who treated me like chewing
gum- wadded me up in his
mouth and blew the world's
biggest bubble, sent himself
up into space with my offset
reciprocation, soared past
the stars he was so obsessed
with, used saturn's rings to
burst all that i was. and when
he fell back into earth's orbit
he was safe, but i was scattered
somewhere around neptune.
i cannot find my way back.

I put all your physical words in a box-
"you are ADORABLE" scribbled on a receipt
          the book with the pictures of
          New York City and the one with
          the history of Christmas
the map from the pumpkin patch
          your band's cds
a 9 volt battery
          a button from the trails west
          festival
a ticket to the show your band played at your dream venue
          my ticket stub from This Is the
          End
directions to Kim's house
          the journal you gave me for  
          Christmas with a letter from you
          on the first two pages
a napkin I kept hidden in my wallet with "you are very cute" written in your smallest print
          a Virgil's Rootbeer bottle cap
          from our second first date
(god did you know I had kept all those things)-
but I can't figure out how to package all the sentences you left swimming around in my head

you are
summer
fall and
winter
for me
and so i
like the
spring.

I drove past that place
where we went to see
the fireworks and there
was some ghost of me
leaning against a ghost
of you. I saw myself
grumble "we missed
them" into your navy
striped shirt, watched
you kiss my forehead
and whisper "we'll find
others, beautiful. there
are always others."