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This piece of paper rejects the kiss of my old pencil lead-
Its blackness fading
Its magic disappearing
Its meaning slowly annihilating itself.

My muse has turned into a black screen;
Embroidered with small white pills and
Large doses of alcohol
Radiating myself, this black hole
in a galaxy with only stars remaining

In this vacuum, I ask myself only one thing
Am I really a poet ?
if the only thing I can write about now
is how I have nothing to write about.
from: myself
to : myself
amidst 60-story buildings and pixelated greenery,
amidst moving shadows and blinding halo,
i feel like plated gold.

the wind blows and it's not shiny anymore,
the water splashes and it starts to rust,
revealing a human-shaped brown iron block.

one step forward, sky turns purple
one step backward, sky turns white
animating my thoughts before they *******

reminded of flakes of wood glued to the trunk,
wondering if they actually want to be there
a woodpecker's barrier to survival.

only two left in this treeless jungle;
the parasitic bird and the helpless trunk
preserving the hurricane-bound meadow
the torchlight is far beyond my reach
clenching my jaw for mere crippling words
clarity is for the unfortunate
for those whose eyes melt ice

the deer locks its gaze onto mine
humanising the brown ruins beside me
am i fearful or divine
if it only were my eyes whose
death gave life to that flame

is loving the enemy treason
if the patriot and traitor is one
too many keys to too many doors
but its dark
the torchlight is far beyond my reach
throwing out structure for some raw emotions perhaps
you put it in me
you took it away without warning
you are never deprived of it
you saw it in my eyes
you didn't like how bright it was
you bereft me of it

now,
you are it
it is you
and it blinds me
noor means light in hindi:)
my showers, stinging
my meals, none
my friends, equally as fcked up
my mind, hollow
my heart, beating
my purpose, lost
my scars, visceral
my will, dead
my sleep, awakening
my dreams, comforting
my reality, daunting
my life, ending.
writing poetry isnt my coping mechanism,
writing poetry about you is.
Count the doves in the 7pm pink,nostalgic sky
Watch them blend in harmony with tricoloured flags
As crips yellow leaves fall in the backdrop
As faint chimes heard from a distant

Worship at dawn, spew venom at dusk
Our brains preserved in jars, our hearts kept on shelves
Hostages to pale white buildings are we not
Decoding the labryinth that ends at the halo

A sip of whiskey to regain my conciousness
A drop of blood to blind myself back again
Anxiously search for the poisoned apple
Disguising itself in the shine of its benevolence

The smell of incense and ashes embrace my body yet haunts my soul
Amplifying my thoughts provoked by your blood and meat
My picnic basket holds my fears and not your blessings
At least for an evening, let me escape
At least for a night, let me liberate myself from being your child.
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