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Apr 2020 · 39
shades of us
yellow wildflowers from the creases of our brick fences match the dress you made me
I've never worn them
the patience enhances its beauty
I will wear it one day I promise

red reminds me of what I wore when you kissed me, it mocks me
to have knitted a blanket for two while the bed only fitted one
the patience enhances its beauty
I will warm myself one day I promise

white makes me surrender, not in the usual way it does, there are no angels
dirt and blemishes find their way to be admired
the patience enhances its beauty
I will be good one day I promise

blue grew up with me, a lonely companion that stayed when you left
bearing the throne's weight with its waves
the patience enhances its beauty
I will learn one day I promise.
Jan 2020 · 101
Have I reached the resonating point of my existence?
For the downward trail I feel incoming
Slowly pierces through this pink thing-
that keeps me alive yet insane.
Be the guest that I unwelcome
Hammering down the bricks surrounding
The same wires that hang around my neck,
slowly snapping it-
one tug at a time.
Jan 2020 · 47
b o r d e r s .
Born at the border
Half of a fair, wheat-skinned goddess
Half of a tall, dark mixture of strength and weakness

I ask myself if my favourite dessert
is called paalkova or barfi
I ask myself if the God I worship
is the 10-headed ivory statue or the book filled with characters I don't understand

Born at the border
Travelling between the north and south
with a heavy heart,
I ask myself:
where is my home?

Amongst the colourful rituals
Amongst the tribal rivalry
I find the equilibrium of my existence
The border is my home.
I am the border.
Jan 2020 · 40
Lust or Misery?
As your fingers travel up my thighs,
the melancholy trumps the lust.

As your lips lean in closer to mine,
the chaps in my mind trumps the quiver of my subtle lips.

When you look at my body in thoughts of savouring it,
I hope it's my mind and soul that satiates your hunger.

Call me baby when you're touching me
Call me an emotional trainwreck otherwise

That's only just so you know,
just as you're eating me out,
you're also slowly chewing my numb heart out.
Jan 2020 · 62
The 4 Letter Word
F, standing for the fiery passion for when our tongues are intertwined

U, standing for the unforgiving spanks for when I fail to humour your commands

C, standing for that cunning smile for when you dispose the unflattering shadows of me into the dumpster

K, standing for the kryptonite of my vulnerable soul for when I surrendered my purity to your satisfaction

"****!", I screamed
Because I know
That you're going to **** me up.
A literal metaphor
A stationary dancer
A frozen river
An agreement of rejections and denials

Love makes the world turn grey
Love makes my arms turn red
Chained to the musty bed
Chained to the lifetime subscription of guilt

Lips quivering, legs shaking
The humidity of the moment trapped in my mind
Oxymorons in compliments, discomfort in moans
The heat of your breath corroding my skin

The blue walls reflected in my water-filled eye
Ripped pieces of thin black satin stacked in the corner of the room
Dark, rough hands stripping away my consciousness
Lighted candles in the dim chamber exposing my caramel skin

Is this a mid midsummer night's dream
if this nightmare haunts me everytime the mirror stares at me?
Is this a Disney fairytale
if this tale drowns me in disgust?
Jan 2020 · 53
Absolutely Nothing
This piece of paper rejects the kiss of my old pencil lead-
Its blackness fading
Its magic disappearing
Its meaning slowly annihilating itself.

My muse has turned into a black screen;
Embroidered with small white pills and
Large doses of alcohol
Radiating myself, this black hole
in a galaxy with only stars remaining

In this vacuum, I ask myself only one thing
Am I really a poet ?
if the only thing I can write about now
is how I have nothing to write about.
from: myself
to : myself
Jan 2020 · 53
i'm still alive
amidst 60-story buildings and pixelated greenery,
amidst moving shadows and blinding halo,
i feel like plated gold.

the wind blows and it's not shiny anymore,
the water splashes and it starts to rust,
revealing a human-shaped brown iron block.

one step forward, sky turns purple
one step backward, sky turns white
animating my thoughts before they *******

reminded of flakes of wood glued to the trunk,
wondering if they actually want to be there
a woodpecker's barrier to survival.

only two left in this treeless jungle;
the parasitic bird and the helpless trunk
preserving the hurricane-bound meadow
the torchlight is far beyond my reach
clenching my jaw for mere crippling words
clarity is for the unfortunate
for those whose eyes melt ice

the deer locks its gaze onto mine
humanising the brown ruins beside me
am i fearful or divine
if it only were my eyes whose
death gave life to that flame

is loving the enemy treason
if the patriot and traitor is one
too many keys to too many doors
but its dark
the torchlight is far beyond my reach
throwing out structure for some raw emotions perhaps
Dec 2018 · 214
you put it in me
you took it away without warning
you are never deprived of it
you saw it in my eyes
you didn't like how bright it was
you bereft me of it

you are it
it is you
and it blinds me
noor means light in hindi:)
Mar 2018 · 113
my showers, stinging
my meals, none
my friends, equally as fcked up
my mind, hollow
my heart, beating
my purpose, lost
my scars, visceral
my will, dead
my sleep, awakening
my dreams, comforting
my reality, daunting
my life, ending.
Mar 2018 · 119
please leave my heart-11w
writing poetry isnt my coping mechanism,
writing poetry about you is.
Mar 2018 · 135
weekly dose of poison
Count the doves in the 7pm pink,nostalgic sky
Watch them blend in harmony with tricoloured flags
As crips yellow leaves fall in the backdrop
As faint chimes heard from a distant

Worship at dawn, spew venom at dusk
Our brains preserved in jars, our hearts kept on shelves
Hostages to pale white buildings are we not
Decoding the labryinth that ends at the halo

A sip of whiskey to regain my conciousness
A drop of blood to blind myself back again
Anxiously search for the poisoned apple
Disguising itself in the shine of its benevolence

The smell of incense and ashes embrace my body yet haunts my soul
Amplifying my thoughts provoked by your blood and meat
My picnic basket holds my fears and not your blessings
At least for an evening, let me escape
At least for a night, let me liberate myself from being your child.
Jan 2018 · 104
Prison of you
Your gaze trapped me in a cell
Shackled by the thoughts of you
When you look away, I try to unlock my way into liberty
Yet i remain there
Glued  by my own feet
Because the gates give me comfort
Jan 2018 · 87
An hour a week
Just as i speak
His breath migles with mine
But i know
One more hour
And it all goes away
Jan 2018 · 81
are you my sun?
the golden sun says his goodbyes
nostalgic to when his rays hugged me with warmth
a sip of whiskey to replace
a drop of blood to forget
Jan 2018 · 95
divide yourself into two
pleasure your muse/
despair him with all your might

cloud your surroundings with your failures
till the sky turns grey

let the rainbows form to remind
at least something can exist as one
peacefully radiating in this polerised world
Jan 2018 · 120
c o n f l i c t e d
over time my poetry rawer
my feelings for you flakier
be mine i wish to the heavens
yet leave me alone i whisper to my atria
as i count the last few days
where nods and smiles matter
i hope the viscerality of my feelings for you fades
or stacked in a box at the back of my mind
Jan 2018 · 89
your scent in every puff of smoke
your taste in every drop of bitter coffee
your voice in every thunder

making life a little less miserable
Jan 2018 · 101
what are you
every morning a reminder
you're just a passing breeze/ a temporary tattoo/a coping mechanism
every night a reality
i live on the beach/ my heart stained with ink/ i don't need to cope
Oct 2017 · 114
Everytime I try
The halo surrounding you converges to the centre of my heart;
Every cell vibrating;
Trying to unchoke my words;
At least for a greeting

An inch forward;
A lifetime's worth of courage;
But its a cloudless sky, your eyes;
The harmony of blue and white slowly vanishing;
But they reappear, pixelating;
With every step backwards.
Oct 2017 · 171
Escape vs Reality
Poetry is my escape
You are my reality
Pulling me back to earth everytime I rest on fluffy clouds
Maybe thats why I can never seem to write about you
Oct 2017 · 115
Black and white
Behind the desk, sits the blonde man
With every button pushed,
100 metre radius of fire
1000 children crying
10000 limbs flying apart

There I am, 101 metres away
Standing with a gun in my hand
A photo in the other
They look happy, at least I hope

White is wrong, black is good
Heaven is bad, hell is good
Only with a gunshot on my chest
I ask
Why cant everyone be gray
Oct 2017 · 107
Thoughts of you are like tiny particles
Colliding each other in my brain
Producing this spark, this electric

But as time, I know
The collisions will stop
The electricity will trip

Because her jasmine scent
Will always overpower my scent of a wilted flower back home
Oct 2017 · 107
Snowflakes in the air
Muddy snow on the ground
Your eyes the only warmth
Your heart the only furnace

But darling, I cant look into your eyes
Neither can I feel your heartbeat
Because this hardly happens
But cupid missed his target
Oct 2017 · 184
Dripping down my thighs,
As i scream for freedom;

The clock stopped;
Smell of blood faded;
Replaced gradually with the scent of misogyny.
Oct 2017 · 106
Learn to Love
I've learn to love moles after seeing yours,
One behind your ear and one on your lips

I've learn to love the football club I hate,
I hope they win, I secretly whisper

I've learn to talk simpler,
Because you hate not understanding what words mean

But it's time.
It's time to stop adjusting myself for you,
For you never learned the first word of me.
Oct 2017 · 221
A million books around us,
Yet no knowledge in our minds.

Windows in the room,
Yet no air to breathe.

Keys to every door in the world,
Yet no liberty to unlock.

Hearts which pump blood,
Yet no feelings to expresss.

What have we become?
Are we zombies or machines,
Beings without remorse or humility.

Nobody knows.
We just know that it's downhill from here.
Oct 2017 · 112
In knots are my wires:
Tangled, blocking my arteries:
Darling to decide ask me not;
If i choose blood or the complex;

Enter my labryinth with this code;
Warn yourself, a gruesome path this is;
Circling around and around,
Never reaching the end;
Because I snapped the wire.
Oct 2017 · 113
The abyss tempts me to enter it;
Fear nothing it spoke ;
No more wet cheeks, no more ruined mascara;
My adrenaline leaped in with no clue of its depth.
Your innocent smile compliments your nod,
Just like frosting on a cupcake

Your brown eyes and jawline could pierce a heart,
Just like a dagger on the bullseye

Your burning heart could melt icebergs,
Just like how you melted my heart

The passion of your soul could drive a car,
Just like what made me write this poem.
Oct 2017 · 117
To the 13 year old me
In the mirror i look
But not myself i see
Countless windows and books
Can never set me free

A parrot in the cage, a peacock in the wild
Liberty in lock, conflict in freedom
Turn back in time, a little while a child
The mind is a script and its codes encrypt

Make it last but never vengeful
The limit is the ground, standing on soil
No water no air yet your glass if full
Your thoughts to diffuse, your intent to dilute

My life has ended on a tingling note
Yet my heart is beating, soul ascending
Trumps your worth no jewel or crystal
Precious is your clock, soon destroyed
Oct 2017 · 235
Gears and desires
Your sufferings became the fuel to my fire
Fire of my heart's desire not
But the furnace of my soul

Be afraid not of regrets and dreams
Never enough is life of the mortals
To sing is to sleep, to howl is to worship

The journey of stones and mud is mine
The path of grass and moss is yours
Finite is our worry of morrow

As heavy as the clouds is your mind
Pulled by the string of conciousness
The right the wrong the unknown.

— The End —