You think I don’t want to talk to you at all but it’s all I want to do, every second in every minute of everyday. It takes everything in me not to talk to you. I wish I could tell you all these things but I know I shouldn’t so I end up saying nothing at all. You say I deserve the world; you were my world, my whole entire universe. You were all the stars, all the planets, the sun and the moon. You were my everything but that doesn’t change anything. I’m sorry that I act so cold and heartless; it’s a defense mechanism. It’s the only way I can keep myself from coming back to you. So instead I keep my distance. I cant say hello to you and risk another goodbye, cause we keep fighting over the same thing over and over again. Endless goodbyes that’s all we have left. I know sending this to you is selfish, I should’ve just left it at “goodbye take care” but I just don’t want you to think of me heartless. All I ever did was try to make you happy.

I could dance
dance dance
all night long
night in and night out,
but when I come home,
I'm still alone
and it's taboo these days
to need anyone,
but I need you,
whoever you are
and wherever you are
I wish you would
show your face
so I could hold it
in my hands,
look into your eyes,
be known,
and know you

Do you remember
how you gave yourself to me-
the simple act of resting your head
on my bare chest
Your hair wasn't perfect anymore,
and neither was mine
But what we'd just done meant nothing
All significance was held
in the way your arm laid across me
I was strong, wasn't I?
You were safe, weren't you?
Did my fear of losing you
scare you away?

but reading poetry takes me
more effort
than writing out my ****** thoughts
and splitting them into lines
And now it's time to sleep
because, you know,
taking care of myself