I do not know how to combine the 26 letters I am given,  in a way to make you understand how much I need your essence.
there is no combination that comes close to explaining how much I need your love.
the feelings pump through my heart but there's no way to spill them on the paper, believe me. I've tried.
I've tried countless times to show you that you're the one, but words don't seem to be enough.
the lines on that are etched into my body are the results of failed attempts to make you understand.
my heart aches and my body is sore from you attempting to break me with the words you murmur. they slip through your beautiful lips laced with poison and as slide through my head and climb down my throat they twist and tangle my stomach into knots. I spend my days in bed crying on and off because you don't want to be mine anymore. you know that I'm not strong enough to let you go.

I go insane at the sound of your voice,
and with every word you breathe it's no longer a choice.
I have to be yours and you have to be mine. this has become the way I want to spend my life
I'll be hurt at points and yes, so will you. but I'm hoping you think I'm worth the pain, because I know I do.
it's worth the tears and aching heart to be able to call you mine. I'll be happy to kiss you all over, knowing you're not all in.
I'll drive myself crazy thinking of you and her.
I'll die loving you because you'll be driving my hurse

your hand glided up her thigh just as easily as the sharp pain on my wrist. the words fell from your mouth just as easily as the blood falling on this paper, and you'll never know how much I love you
but I'll always know how much you crave her.
her name pops up and you're eyes go wide, I see her name pop up and I start to cry, you don't love me anymore and that's the hardest part, I've given you everything I have and you couldn't even give me your heart,
but that's alright my dear, I'll try to sew up my wrist and place my heart back together, I'll need some help holding it all because it's seem to have shattered.
I'll make the best out of a bad situation. like I always seem to do, and like a good girlfriend I'll put on a fake smile and tell you I love you.
and I hate feeling like there's always someone better, that you're just passing time talking to me in hopes she'll want to get back together. I feel sad and scared because I have no guarantee  that you'll always be there just like you said you'd be,
Actions speak louder than words and if that statement is true, then you don't love me half as much as I love you.

I want to die, I want to bleed, I want to choke, I want to be deceased.
I want to smoke, I want to cut, I should probably stop, before I'm done.
I want to drink, I want to drown, I want to fly, and never come down.
I want to sleep, and not wake up. I want to **** myself, I should probably shut up.
I want to hang myself, I want to overdose, I want to swallow the pills, until my throat will close.
I want you to see how bad it really is
i want you to actually give a ****.
I want you to care about me as much as I care about you, maybe then I wouldn't want all the things that I do.

I try my best to hide my pain, to take my worries and sadness and just throw it away.
I try to do the same for you, but you won't let me help so there's nothing I can do.
I try to make you happy and make you forget about the bad parts of the world,
how can I manage to do that when you're paying some other girl all your attention, and not even thinking of me. someone you always forget to mention.
I'll try to sew up my wrist and place my heart back together, I'll need some help holding it all together because it's seem to have shattered.
I'll make the best out of a bad situation. like I always seem to do, and like a good girlfriend I'll put on a fake smile and tell you I love you.

there's this line across my wrist and it's been there for a year,
it's been so long since it happened but it never disappears.

the memories will stay and they don't seem to leave, when you ask I'll make up another lie which I so easily weave.

you won't give it a second thought because you want to believe I'm fine.
when you're hungry you ask questions,
and the truth can't be told so I'll feed you lies.

I could never dare to say that I was weak enough to harm myself because of what happened that day

I'm supposed to be the strong one, the one you can always count on. not the one you're scared of losing or the one you walk out on.

you're gonna leave me and I can feel it in your voice. you don't love me anymore, and that's the hardest part. I've given you my everything babe, and you couldn't even give me your heart.

while you're asleep in your bed,
visions of you and her dance throughout my head.
while you're asleep, I'm wide awake and my chest feels like an earthquake.
while you're asleep, I, with blade in hand look around and wonder why cutting would be so bad.
while you're asleep, you don't have a clue. how much I'm effected by everything you do.
while you're awake, i act okay. taking my tears and blade and hiding them away
while you're awake, I put on a smile because everything you say makes it okay for a while.
while you're awake all I do is wait for you to shut your eyes once again so I can let the drowning of my tears and the contemplation of suicide begin.