Wilted Seaweed

Wilted Seaweed Jan 2014

I have this queer little problem
Where my insides and outsides can't agree
You like me and I want to hold your hand
Yet I move my hand away from you so you don't think I'm trying anything
I know you need a self confidence boost
I want to tell you how cute you are sometimes
But I'll keep quiet or say something sarcastic
That beats down on you even more
I want to flirt back with you cuz I like you
But I'll shrug you off
Roll my eyes
Scoff
Because my inside-to-outside is broken
And I think
Just maybe
Dear
To fix it I'll need your love.
So know this next time I hurt you
When I distance myself
I just want you to hold me.
When I say something rude
I can't handle how perfect you are right now.
When I shrug you off
I just wanted to flirt back with you
I know I'm a mess of emotion
Like a leftover bag full of scraps
But the one thing dear
Though I don't show it
I love you.
To have you know it
Its all I try to do.

Wilted Seaweed Dec 2013

what I realized tonight

Do you remember when we met?
We were at that amusement park I love so much.
At first it was a simple friendship
Occasional talk and text
Then I got to know you better
How we think alike and act
Suddenly after 3 years we're best friends.
Then I realized I had a crush
It was mutual.
I liked you but I couldn't decide how much
If I could kiss my best friend
If this would be something I want
But tonight I realized how I feel about you
Your eyes are like the ocean where I feel most at ease
I want to laugh and be stupid with you as always
But something new
I'm craving your kiss
Being with you is care free and happy
Your flirtatious nature once annoyed me
But now its so sweet
The tease by my friends that once hurt me
Cuz I'm taller than you and you're a little chubby
I don't mind your height and for reasons I cannot find i think your chub is kinda cute
So I'm done being unsure
Telling you we can't be together
Because Im realizing now that you're perfect for me and I'm oh so in love with you.

Wilted Seaweed Dec 2013

all of the poems I wrote you.

I wrote you so many poems, dear.
My feelings towards you never the same
At the start you were what Love Is
And suddenly I realize I don't miss you.
But miss you? I did, because I'm addicted to your lies.
We know what killed our love, distance.
Though that stupid little turtle necklace still meant so much.
Our phone calls were wonderous, though they ended so sudden.
So when a sudden text arrives from you
I stare at my screen in shock
"I'm moving back in three weeks"
My heart suddenly stops beating
Not of fear
Or love
Anger
Or sadness
But confusion
What will become of us?
My heart bleeds a rainbow of emotion
I don't know what I feel any more.
The fine lines between happy and sad
The lines between love and loathe
Dissolve in an instant as I still stare.
I could cry and laugh and scream
Because whatever we are now
We'll never be the same again.

Wilted Seaweed Dec 2013

We poets see everything differently.

I see emotions in the weather
Every color a quirky new phrase
I pick apart my feelings like a flower petal
"He loves me, he loves me not"
I question all but nothing
Though nothing inspires me too
I try to define my emotion
A force that cannot be reigned
A story behind every person
A book full of words to be read
So forgive me family and friends
When I read you like an open book
But I can see everything you hide
The sadness in your eyes
The nervous tick at your side
I know who you are
what you feel
Don't be alarmed that i see you
Not for the makeup and jewelry
I see your raw hate and disgust
Your severe lack of trust
But this is not something to fear
Because there's nothing more fascinating than people
Their faccade and their lies and their guilt
But we people
We're all something beautiful
For seeing your human beauty
Apologize?
I won't.

Wilted Seaweed Dec 2013

Not like always

I had a dream last night
It started off plain
We were playing video games at your house like always
You put your arms around me
like always
You flirt with me
like always
But this time when you put your arms around me
You did something unusual
Your face got so close to mine
You were trying to kiss me
But when our lips were only a sliver apart
You stopped
I will never know why
We were so close
With no explanation or words
I did something I never would
I kissed you.

Wilted Seaweed Dec 2013

let's run away

I'd like to run away from here
Not because life is so bad
But there's so many adventures to be had
I'd need a friend or two to come along
We could go to the beach
We'll sift through murky tide pools
Collect seashells for our hair
Feel the waves against our legs
Make sandcastles and surf
We could go to the redwood forests
We'd awe at the great heights of nature
The smell of rain and earth
It feels like we're the last people left
Alone in silence
We could go around the world
Think of it!
Just the best of friends
Together through thick and thin
Adventuring around the world
No one to stop us
Or tell us we're too young
We can be free
And happy
Alive
So what do you say
Let's run away?

Wilted Seaweed Dec 2013

these boys...

I'm caught between 3 boys.
So different from one another
Yet I enjoy their company all the the same
He's my best friend and he's weird
***** jokes and British TV
Cooking and music
His truck and hanging out every day
Blue green eyes and carefree
Its been 3 years since I met him at the amusement park.
He's smart and funny as hell
My favorite bands and good conversation
Coffee and tea
The bus and concerts
Eyes of grey, blue, cashmere, green and happy
An aquaintance since junior high
When I really got to know him he is so much more.
He's silly and nerdy
We were in love before and he broke my heart
Time and time again
Video games and humor
The mall and bowling alley
Eyes deep brown and philosophical
My best friend in 8th grade till he moved
Though we dated 6 times.
I'm stuck on them all
And I cannot decide
So I'll stay on the wall
I know this will hurt me later
But I'm too naive to try
So I'll wait
Till bitter revenge finds me