When I die
Please plant my heart
So it can finally grow
For my death would
Mean the death of you
As while alive
It was stuck on you

I decided to write
One last time
With icicles of ink
Sharpened words,
That slowly disperse
Every mean word said to me
I write
And I write
Every heartbreak
I let it flee with no fight
No tears,
Just raindrops,
No chills down my spine,
My heart devoid of fear
I take icicles of ink
I shove it in my heart
The words do not pierce,
They bleed from my pocket,
They spill,
Raw,
And pure
No frostbites
No frozen tears.

You know what the problem is
Of having a big heart?
You need to break it into
Many fragments to contain it
Within yourself.

Beneath the vast celestial dome
We surround the sizzling blaze
As moon wears a halo
Perhaps the night breeze is too cold
our laughter soars
giggles unwind
Flames dance recklessly
Joy blankets us
We might have forgoten
about me cold
That passes through the stitches of our clothes
we sing the song of love
tales of folklore
In the fleeting shadows of
Our dances
new adventure abides
But as the moonlight kisses the horizon's crest
our journey ends
For in those moments,
however brief we will stay a while
You & I
In this memory haven we will never say goodbye.

Somedays like today
I want to curl up in bed
wanting to hurt myself
somedays like today
I want to drink myself to death
somedays like today
I want to cry till
I don't hear my brain
Somedays like today
I wish I didn't exist
At all

I am here trying to tie
Loose ends of your heart
While you rip me out of it

In a dimly lit corner of a bar,
there you were
I saw you from afar
You gaze at me
I could tell you wanted to play it cool
and not seem like a fool to love
It might be too late for that
you might have lied to others
but somehow
your eyes gave it away
you spoke of adventures, places unknown,
Of mountains climbed and oceans crossed,
In your tales, a world I had never known,
Your laughter rang like a sweet reminder,
Your voice, a symphony of joy,
In that fleeting encounter,
our hearts met,
With askew roads of life,
like a shooting star
as
beautiful
as
it may be
it's shortlived
the night has to end
you ought to go
onto your new adventures
Boy I met in a bar
That is how briefly our story
ends
And that is how I would like to remember you
Oh you beautiful
Boy, I met in a bar.

I trace my fingers
on the rims of your silhouette
As we breathe the same air
your hands reach my waist
with touch that isn't your embrace
it only takes me a second to realize
that it isn't you
and
that I am merely
moving
with the timeless chase
of my shadow
my echo
my only friend

Its been a month
Since I last wrote poetry
For a person
Who could cry everyday
I have not been myself
Lately
I am just flesh and bones
Amongst my own ghost

Laundry from last week on my bed
Stale coffee on the bed side table
Trash on one corner of my studio
I lie on this bed
Lifeless
Not dead
But not alive either.

We striped every night
Clothes
Skin
Until I striped to the bone
And realized
You were merely
Taking off your
Many façades
While I stood here
Bare
Naked

You say
I am your home
I am merely
A 200 sq feet room
With no bed to sleep
No chairs to sit
No food to feed
Yet you lay here
Next to me
On the creaking floor
Under a
Dusty ceiling fan
We drink our tears
Nibble on our emotions
While I peek
As you walk to your home
Through these rusty window bars
I realize
With you
My heart feels like
A ruin with a mansion's garden
Yet each evening you
Come right back
To it.

I know your eyes by heart
I know what color they are
when the clock strikes 2
Oh how they
masquerade the nectar
by the noon
How they flutter
when I smile at you
when it rains outside
they turn a little blue
but I like your eyes
the most when I look at you

You are this
Beautiful being
with wildflowers for eyes
ocean waves for hair
And I am just me
normal
ordinary
as
a girl can be

I complain about you
You make me not want to sleep at night
You make me dance and cry
You make me hate the blue skies
But when I moved
Cities
Countries
Continents
You were my constant
In you
I have found
Home
My sadness

Numb evenings
Are when
My fingers run miles
Looking at your pictures
Writing you poetries
Writing messages
I will never send
Writing casual text
Text to let you know that I miss you
Text to let you know you hurt me
Texts to ask why you don't write to me
Text that says I am mad at you
And when night ends
With you in my mind
With tears, I shouldn't cry
I wonder if you think of me
Even for a fraction of second
Because that would make
this heartbreak
a little worthwhile.

People say even the best of things
are not meant to be
when the time is not right
and
when you are not ready
All I know is
I had never felt so sure
about anything else
like every moment of my life
existed so
I could find you
Hold you
And
when you said you weren't ready
Instead of turning clocks
I wish I told myself
"We just arent meant to be"

Under the boundless skies
You and I stand eye to eye
You hold my hand
Pull me close
Your feet glide the floor
Our hearts are at the shore
of our souls
Each second
We merge with the
rhythm of our
pounding hearts
Our souls intertwine
with
the eternal dance
of two minds

At this rate
We might die of exploding heart
trying to fit something so vast
in something as small as
fist of our hands

Orange rays slouch on the leaves
trees sway to the music of
kids playing
lovers giggling
crickets chirping
With the last glimpse of daylight
nature must dance to
the beats of the evening
of togetherness
and of harmony
before the night
pulls the curtains
and applauds the day
And welcomes the
waltz of fireflies
and gentle breeze
in twilight's kiss

I write my love letters
to you
on paper boats
sail them to you
yet when you receive it
you say there are no words
when I have
turned the ocean blue

.......................
You.
.......................

What I feel for you is
A plethora of emotions
What you feel for me is
A string
Of incoherently
Phrased
Text

I was walking uphill last evening
And I spot
A flock of clouds making home
Before dawn
The daylight is fading
Faster than they anticipated
And suddenly I spot
A street light  
Light up
So the clouds can make their way
home
Safe

You look in the mirror
and say you're not beautiful
when you should have been looking into my eyes
to find that out.

I am made up of nostalgia
I live in my head
I breathe in the memories
And breathe out your embrace
So slowly I can forget
what it is like to held by you
And I can make some space
Your touch lingers on my face
But baby let me move on
Stop tracing those fingers
Even though it's all in my head
I need to make space
For someone else to take my breath
away

You say you are not enough
But a sip of you gives me
a lifetime of joy

There are many things that make me feel
Feel like my existence is a burden
But you make me believe otherwise
You make me feel like I belong

Half of you
Half of me
So I thought
When it was all of me
And none of you

If the world is ending
tell me a truth and a lie
before the words run dry
If the world is ending
roll a dice
see whether we bribe and survive
If the world is ending
look me in the eye
for there are no tears left to cry
If the world is ending
I will be by your side
just by your side
yourside.

I was looking for
Something permanent
You turned out to be
A temporary dopamine

If the world is ending
I would still stare in your eyes
Not the reflection of the chaos
But a mirror to a heart
That chose to love mine
For I find those eyes staring right at mine
If the world is ending
You would stare at mine.

I used to love love
You broke me
And
I am not capable of loving
anymore.

I teach me a lot
You teach me
what not to do
who not to be
............................

You were selling lies
for love
and I bought it

I feel gloomy today
But I cannot blame the weather
Its bright sunny summer day
Sparse clouds with turquoise blue backdrop
Gentle breeze
Flowers waving in distance
Whispers and giggles
Nothing is gloomy
But me
Which makes me think
If I am broken beyond
Repair

When the sky is awfully close to the land
When the clouds spread their arms around the mountains and weep
for hours
For days
And sometimes for weeks
The mountain hugs it tight with its misty arms
Blankets it with fog
Until the sky cannot weep anymore
Until it feels light again
So it can float back
Wander
Gush the story of the land that stretches underneath
Only for the mountain to rustle with glee

When you fell out of love
I fell out of life

I wander between heart and mind
Between daydreams and reality
Between tormenting silences
And tiring screams
Between yes and no
Between beauty and tragedy
Between being stripped and layered
Between passion and comfort
Between hurtful truths and comforting lies
Between search and rescue
Between sky and roof
Between full and empty
Between realization and delusion
Between whole and pieces
Between gaining and losing
But most of all between
my own inner landscape
Weeding watering
Planting uprooting
Building dismantling
Fencing unlatching
Acknowledging that this garden is not perfect
Not by any stretch of the imagination
It has been the Atlantis of the soul
Seen layers below the rock bottom
It has been a traveler
Who has found a home
In happiness and in pain.

If I live in your heart
Do I exist in your mind?

You are a fickle paradise
I am not sure whether I want to be drunk on you Or high
You exist in seconds
My hours can't capture
Yet I can't stop chasing
For you are the notion of my rapture

Soft fluffy clouds against the turquoise blue
neon hues
it feels unreal
with you here
with me next to you

I don't write poetries not because I don't have words
I am harsh on myself
I am afraid I won't weave words that are
Aesthetic
That caress your heart
My poems are inadequate
Just like me
They don't speak to you
No matter how much I try
They won't strum your heart
So, I rather trap my words
in my mouth
And gulp it deep down
No words ever to be found.

Merry Christmas love
Here I greeted you at midnight
Just like I promised you
We planned to go to Seychelles
Because we both hate cold
The kind of cold that goes away
With layers of clothes
But you left me here with cold
That doesn't go away
With any amount of layering
But your arms
I wait at the doorway
like a kid waits for the Santa
But all I got this Christmas
is lies
and
a broken heart

He looks out of the window
to get the last glimpse of her
She is not the kind to stick to a place
he knew that
yet he fell
knowing very well
She would break his heart
but he would rather hurt than
not love her
at all.

Most of the time I think to drift
drift from things around me
only to have them in my
thoughts
even bleaker
kind of bleak
that makes me want to
break my bones
to make sure these thoughts don't exist
not even a little
not within me

I want to paint my nails in the color of you
So everytime I run my fingers through my hair
It will remind me of you.

It's raining here in New York City
I wonder if it's raining there too
People say we share the same sky
But how can it cry but smile too?

I am scared that I met you only to say goodbye

I listen to Joji
on repeat
while I wait for the train
I don't know if it is your words
Or the night
That keeps reminding me
of the time we  
danced in Subway
With your arms around me
Now I am cold
Now your arms embrace
Someone else
All I am left with is your lingering smell
from your jacket
I am no one to you
I am no one to you at least now
And nothing hurts more
than realizing you never loved me
the way I did
even though I was someone to you.