Most of the time I think to drift
drift from things around me
only to have them in my
thoughts
even bleaker
kind of bleak
that makes me want to
break my bones
to make sure these thoughts don't exist
not even a little
not within me

I want to paint my nails in the color of you
So everytime I run my fingers through my hair
It will remind me of you.

It's raining here in New York City
I wonder if it's raining there too
People say we share the same sky
But how can it cry but smile too?

I am scared that I met you only to say goodbye

I listen to Joji
on repeat
while I wait for the train
I don't know if it is your words
Or the night
That keeps reminding me
of the time we  
danced in Subway
With your arms around me
Now I am cold
Now your arms embrace
Someone else
All I am left with is your lingering smell
from your jacket
I am no one to you
I am no one to you at least now
And nothing hurts more
than realizing you never loved me
the way I did
even though I was someone to you.

I try to think back to the last time I was happy
but it has been a while
since I last saw you.

I erase your name
only to write it
all over again