It's raining here in New York City
I wonder if it's raining there too
People say we share the same sky
But how can it cry but smile too?

I am scared that I met you only to say goodbye

I listen to Joji
on repeat
while I wait for the train
I don't know if it is your words
Or the night
That keeps reminding me
of the time we  
danced in Subway
With your arms around me
Now I am cold
Now your arms embrace
Someone else
All I am left with is your lingering smell
from your jacket
I am no one to you
I am no one to you at least now
And nothing hurts more
than realizing you never loved me
the way I did
even though I was someone to you.

I try to think back to the last time I was happy
but it has been a while
since I last saw you.

I erase your name
only to write it
all over again

I finally open this door again
I am tired of closing it shut
I am tired of fighting
I am tired of crying
I am tired of gasping for air
So I guess I will just...
...let it go
let it slip
see where it takes me
maybe it will drown me
only time will tell
But for now
I rather hurt
than be stuck in my own little music box
dancing to the same beat that makes me sick

I love him so much
I have surrendered my evenings to him
The colors, the breeze
all dedicated to him
I filled my pages for him
Woven words for him
My thoughts are his
My heart is his
The melody of the summer breeze is his
My days are his
But he is naive
He does not see
And sometimes I am furious
But when he holds my hand
Even for a split second
It seems like it is all worth it