but i think i was born
saying goodbye.

Roses are red
Violets are blue
I'm an awesome writer
and **** it to you

Laughing at you
I can break all the rules
And do what I want
don't you wish you could, fools?

Repetitive rhyme schemes
are my type of jam
A bad ABCB
All the way, man

Now don't you wish you could touch this
Or tear it apart
Well **** it up now
Because it is art!

i don't write in a journal anymore.
you are my journal.
i speak my thoughts aloud to you,
like a confession.

i tell you all my sad thoughts,
my dying wishes,
my hopes,
and my dreams.
you don't speak in return.
you just hold my hand quietly next to me.

silently we sit in my sins,
pooling to the ground like blood from an open wound.

You'd think you hear a sound when the most painful moment in your life passed.
Like you'd actually hear the snap of the tight wire you call your mental stability.
Maybe if you looked hard enough you could find some mark on your body.
Something to tell how much pain you've tried to get through. To get over.
Like how can I hurt this much but not have a wound to show for it?
As if I could mend my mind with medicines and pills
Trying to fix the problems I've been inflicting on myself.
What I've been inflicted with.
I feel like I've had an amputation instead of leaving someone behind.
And every time I think about it the places that I've stitched open up again
and I lie there bleeding.
I wish I could've heard the sound of me breaking when it happened,
To define it as the moment I walked away from someone I loved.
The moment I lost my true happiness. And I wonder, if I'll ever get it back.

A long trailer
In a sombre forest
Two young boys creep
Through a long corridor

One blond and fair
The other is sometimes mistaken
For an immigrant from India

The floor is sticky and smells
From spilt pink lemondae

****** Doo cries out from the TV
"Jeepers Creepers it's the Creeper!"
The two boys watch wide eyed
******'s antics and Shaggy's
Immense appetite

They giggle and scream
In delight
As a ghostly axe misses ******
By a hair

The movie is over and it's time to go
It's dark out, scarily dark
They laugh nervously
But jump into the large truck

Both clad in the trappings
Of young explorers:
***** sweat pants
T shirts with wolves
Hair bleached by the sun
Skin dark and freckled
Finger nails ***** from building forts
And muddy shoes from testing
If river banks are as solid as they look.

"You came," her voice floated in the white
"Of course I came," I knew she was behind me
But I couldn't turn, only feel her hair touching my back
"It's a good sign." Her voice was a million echoing silver bells
"I guess I've started to realize..."
Her fingertips brushed my palm, light as wind.
"I have realized that it wasn't my fault"
"I told you it was a good sign"
In the corner of my eye, I saw strands of her hair, fluttering
"I miss you." I wanted see her, see her smile, white teeth and dimple
"I miss you too," her silver bell voice rung out sadly
"I can never forgive myself," my voice shook, my eyes burned
"Don't say that, it's not true"
Flowers underneath us were red, yellow and sky blue
"I should have been there, I should have always been with you"
My every atom ached for her, to turn and see her
I could remember the smell of waking up beside her
Starting my day with a wonder by my side
"Forgive yourself please, for me"
A flower was slipped into my hand, it was yellow
I turned and I saw her, she wore the garb of an angel
She smiled before she disappeared
Leaving me crying in the red, yellow and sky blue.

I take a drag of my cigarette
It burn’s meteor red
The inky smoke washes my mouth
I exhale the cloud into the cloudless sky
“You need to stop smoking”
“I have”
“What are you doing now?”
“This is my last one”
She rolls her eyes and spits
“You need to stop spitting”
“I can have a bad habit”
“But it’s illegal, smoking isn’t”
“What? Spitting isn’t illegal”
“Unfortunately it is, I may just have to perform a citizen’s arrest”
As I laugh, she mumbles something
“What was that my love?”
“I said you’re a *******”
I blow out another cloud, and smile
My foot ends the last bit of angry red
“There, I quit”
She spits

You’ve got to stop beating yourself up
She says, but I am not really listening
You can do what ever you want if you put your mind to it
Isn’t she aware that her long black hair looks better *******
Are you even listening to me?
No
******* it, I’m trying to help
Couldn't she see I didn't want it
Why won’t you let me help you?
Can we talk about this later?
No, you’ve got to snap out of this
She's beautiful when she worries
Okay, okay.
But really, you...
Sorry to interrupt but would you mind being quiet
She gives me that look, the one that is becoming all too familiar
Why are you pushing me away?
I’m not pushing you, I’m asking for silence
She turns away, to hide her tears I guess
All right go ahead and cry again
You’re a ******* ***** you know that
I’m aware
She turned and walked away
I waited for her to look back
But she didn’t
God she looked good