As I lay in bed at night,
Something catches my eye.
A golden strand of hair,
From memories gone by.
I roll over to face the window,
Hoping the pain will subside.
But normally when I do that,
Your hand graced my side.
Ask if everything was ok,
I'd say yea and roll back.
Laying there staring,
Into your beautiful eyes.
I get this sensation,
That I'll be in your heart forever.
It so hard not to think,
Sitting alone here in this house.
Looking at the stairs,
That you've sat on so many times before.
My bed that we laid in,
For the very first time.
Gone, much like you,
To a place I cannot find.
So I sit here alone,
Thinking all about you.
Knowing that you,
Aren't thinking about me too.
So it's time to move on,
Grow up and grow old.
Maybe someday we'll be together,
But for right now, I fold.

Love is lost
Hate is found
You're like frost
I'm tied and bound
Stick to faith
And learn to believe
Love comes quick
And leaves so fast
Burn your thoughts
Sacrifice your dreams
Drop what you have
And pick up what you need
Keep your health
And **** all else

No more midnight sleepovers.
No more movies we never watch.
No more teddy, no more lambiepoo.
He was the first gift I gave you.
No more sweet nothings in your ear,
No more will I hide you from your fear.
No more mid-afternoon naps,
No more stale bread for the ducks.
No more fries for the squirrels,
No more walks in the light.
No more night swimming,
No more late night ice cream.
No more freaking out,
Laughing till we have six pack abs.
No more will I be there.
No more will life be unfair.
No more tears to shed,
No more angry words spread.
No more will we be sad,
No more will we be mad.
No more will I be there,
To wrap my arms securely around you.
No more....
                                     No more....
                                                                            No more....

Sitting here alone in my chair.
Staring at two things so rare.
A Marlboro, which I never smoke.
And your screen name, which I can't invoke.
I click it on, and click it off.
Up comes the window, X makes it disappear.
I write long poems, I put in sad songs,
Only to close it out, cause the pain is so strong.
You sign off, maybe to go back to Lee.
I take a break, to walk it off.
I walk in your direction,
Maybe just maybe to see your reflection.
The rain falls as ice, not quite snow.
I let the tar fill me with hate.
You never show, so I walk back.
But in a way possibly to see you.
Call me a stalker, call me what you like.
But I think I'm a wanderer,
Walking in the dark, searching for the light.
You shine more than anything I know.
Watching you walk, float across the ground.
It's possible you’re the light,
But your light emanates from within.
You won't let me share that light,
At least not anymore.
You give your light out sparingly,
Right now to someone else,
But not all your light,
Not like you gave it to me.
Did I put out your fire?
Did I put out your flame?
I tried more than anything, to make it blaze.
I gave you everything, I gave you my soul.
Maybe that was wrong of me,
Maybe I shouldn't have tried so hard.
I'm just so afraid of loosing you,
So afraid of life without you.
I can live without you being my everything.
But you being my nothing, I cannot go on.
Best friends, we tried, but I think it can work.
We just need time apart, to let feelings subside
We need to be just friends, in the long run it'll work
Because right now, I feel that is.
I love you too much to just look at you,
And see just a friend.
And you either love, or are so used to me,
Being so much more to you, to do the same.
I can't tell if you lost your love,
Or if you ever loved at all.
When I asked you if you loved me,
You said you didn't want to hurt me.
Well saying that hurt me worst of all.
Hence why I said, ill make this easy for you.
And now I'm not sure if that was right of me to do.
But you needed to know, but you took it wrong.
You went to his place, and vented your anger.
I don't know what to do anymore rob.
It’s so hard not talking to you,
So hard not looking in your eyes.
They say time makes it easier,
But god it gets so much harder.
You have "him" to go to, when times are rough.
I go to my bed, with just the memory of your thought.
I hug teddy tight, he keeps me warm.
Because sometimes I can't control my emotions.
And the tears flow like waterfalls,
And I sob like a child.
Knowing your not even thinking of me,
Rather entertaining his wiles.
It’s so hard for me to understand,
We had so much, so much in our hands.
I gave you my heart, and you gave me a cold.
Just let me know, in some form or fashion.
You feel the way I do, your love was true.
I know he makes you happy, and I’m so glad.
The pain you've caused is nothing,
Nothing compared to your happiness.
It may not be safe to say,
But I have a secret I’ve been holding
For these past few days.
Just a few simple words,
When put together, mean more to me than gold.
I can't yell it to you, nor speak at normal tone.
Anything more than a whisper,
And the meaning looses its hold.
Silently now, listen close...
I love you.

Walk out the door,
Let the wind hit your face.
He kept you warm all night,
I thought of your warmth,
While hugging teddy tight.
I look to my right,
Expecting to see your face.
But I see a white wall,
And your smell is gone.
I feel for your warmth.
But you’re not here,
You’re never here anymore.
And its so hard,
It’s so ******* hard.
I hope its easier for you,
Cause I know you’re not as strong.
And I can't see straight,
Through the tears.
And I know you never cry,
Because he has his arms around you,
Keeping you safe from the dark.

so, the beginning to the end?
or just the end to the beginning.
your love turned to just a friend,
you left my head spinning.
now I'm left to pick myself up,
off this cold hard ground.
you left me like a stray pup,
alone, lost, waiting to be found.
the sun comes up over the hill,
but its warming rays miss my face.
and I'm left in the cold to chill,
which burns my eyes like mace.
or maybe its the tears that burn,
that race down my red cheeks.
it was your voice that was stern,
and told me, it was your turn to speak.
so I let you speak your word,
and it ripped through me like a sword.
and just like I said I heard,
your eyes hit me like a dart board.

After nights of sleepless fun
I have realized that I am done
And when I say fun, I really mean pain
And when I say pain, I really mean drain
Because that's what you did to me
You drained me completely
And last night I almost died
But you didn't care, you were fried
And when I say fried, I mean drunk
But **** girl, you were a slam dunk
You were my dream, my wish
You were the best caught fish
But time cures all things
I realized then what time brings
Time brings a cure
A serum so absolutely pure
That when I drank it
I realized, you weren't it.